Girl in Florida

I have a huge dilemma and I have no one to talk to about it for advice. I am with someone who over the past three years has become mentally abuse, bossy, controlling and mean. I have also been the breadwinner the entire time and although he works, his checks are barely enough to cover any of the bills and I have a really good job that pays well and I work at home. So I have to support us and he is pretty much a freeloader who does not help me financially.

WHY have I stayed? Well, when you're on the outside it's easy to say. But we do have a beautiful baby boy who is 14 months old and that is the main reason. He is a good father to our child and the boy loves his daddy so much it seems like it would break my heart to break up our family. To further add to the problem, we also have custody of his 16 year old daughter and I consider her like a stepdaughter and love her a lot, however it is HIS daughter, not mine. Again, I support her also and pay for most of their stuff. Her father treats her badly, too and calls her demeaning names and threatens to ground her all the time, even though for the most part she is a nice girl and even on the honor roll at school. She really does not deserve to be treated like this, as neither do I.

Recently we had to move from the place we were living and I was on the fence about getting my own place instead of keeping our family together. I just signed a year lease and we got a 3 bedroom nice townhouse to rent. I am already regretting this. I paid for first, last and security (nearly $4800) and he only gave me $300 towards it. He does have a job but it's one of those sketchy sales jobs that promise big rewards and don't deliver. He has gone through 5 jobs just in the last 6 months. He either quits or gets fired from every job.

He is also constantly losing expensive things that are very costly for our family. He lost both of our car keys and the whole thing had to be reprogrammed ($300+), plus he's lost his wallet at least 4 or 5 times (sometimes with cash in it), he's lost the debit card, he's lost his cell phone at least 4 or 5 times just this year which costs insurance of $50 - 90 every time to replace it, and countless other things. It is constant. This is someone who is only 33... it's like alzheimers or something!

To make matters worse, my family can't stand him anymore now that they have seen first hand how he treats me and his daughter, and how controlling and bossy he is, and really selfish. They all want me to leave him and I kind of think it would be best, but given all the other factors I feel really stuck.

Then to top it off... I have not told anyone but I think I am pregnant, maybe like 1 1/2 months. I don't know how this could happen because I have been using birth control ever since my baby (now toddler) was born. I haven't noticed any tampering on them so I can't be sure that he would tamper with them.

I love my child, but I do not want another one. I'm really not for abortion because after having such a beautiful baby already I just don't think I could live with myself. I'm not sure I could go through with adoption and so all 3 of the alternatives are just terrible... I don't like any of them. I am faced with some extremely tough decisions.

What should I do? Maybe your suggestions would be helpful? I have been reading a book called "God has a Plan B" and I almost wish for a miscarriage but what if that does not happen? I need to think about what to do and I have not told anyone... even baby daddy.

Details - Got misguided by a con-artist mortgage broker. I was paying my mortgage on time and then refinanced because he told me I'd get a lower interest rate. The bank "forgot" to put an escrow account in my loan, unbenownst to me until nearly a year later. It jacked my payment up by $900/mo.

Anyway, tried restructuring with the bank and put my house on the market. I found two buyers but the bank has been unwilling to come down on their price, even though the house's value has depreciated significantly.

I had a 722 score but now my credit is completely shot all because I made a dumb choice by refinancing and got taken. So... I really didn't want to go through bankruptcy but only as a last resort. However, the house is still in limbo with the potential buyer (short sale) #2 if the bank agrees to an offer. Should I file bankruptcy now or when it gets closer to a court date? I get about 50 calls a day from bill collectors. I just leave my phone on silent and keep on working.

I know there's never a BEST time, so when is the RIGHT time if someone is contemplating bankruptcy? And what will happen to me?

We live in different states and have been friends - we broke up about 3 years ago and always stayed in touch (just as friends). But the last 7 months I have a new boyfriend who is really great. I don't think it's a good idea to remain friends with an ex because it could create issues between us. My ex knows I have a new boyfriend, but sometimes he will call at like 11pm. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I think it's time to put the past to rest. How would you handle this?

You know, when things are really quiet and you want to compare it to a barren nothingness..... I know it's not dust bunnies but I can't think of the word I'm looking for.... help!

My computer is in desperate need of a defrag, disk cleanup and other maintenance. But everytime I try to perform these tasks, it asks for a password. I have even tried changing the password, but it keeps saying "access denied". It has never been run and under the status it says "could not start". WHY? I am running Windows XP if that helps. I have even tried going through the Scheduled Task Wizard and when I get to the last screen that asks for a username and password, once again I am at a "STUCK" point because it keeps saying "The new task has been created but may not run because the account information could not be set." Access denied! WTF? I didn't ever set the account information to begin with so how can I be denied?