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Hi everyone!

Can I get input on this situation I’m in with my new share house, please?

- I just moved in and it’s coincided with her starting an intense relationship with a new boyfriend.

- The boyfriend has been over every weekend so far and is starting to stay during the week. I’m rarely/never told when he’s coming over. I found out he was over the first time because I could hear a man’s voice in the house.

- I’ve lived with couples and people who have partners, but rarely heard them have sex. I hear these guys all the time, all the gory porn details because the townhouse is so, so small and the single and only bathroom we have is joined to her bedroom. I’ve spoken to my housemate about it, so she’s started sneaking him into the house after she thinks I’ve gone to bed.

- She admitted she could be more considerate.

- One night I was sick, housebound and had an at home doctor coming. My housemate knew, still said I should make myself scarce and had a six hour sex-athon and smoked weed. I couldn’t wear headphones because I was puking, had nausea and a headache.

- When I had my interview with her I stated that I want to live in a drug free house.

I’m worried that I’m being prudish, but I’m uncomfortable. A bit of moaning, a cry on occasion, fine. But this is just too much. I also need a break from her boyfriend because we don’t gel with each other.

I’ve been upset with her since the sex-athon and the weed smoking. Does it sound like I’m mismatched and should move out?

C is depressed, has a negative view of the world, argues passionately and angrily if you disagree with C and can't comprehend actions/beliefs that are different to C's own.

I 'm okay with most of it and talk C through the worst of it, no big.

Except that C is openly 'shipping me with an actor. In C's mind this actor and I are a great match and wants us to meet and date. C mentions it several times a week.

It's disturbing and I don't feel like C is treating me or the actor as people with their own thoughts or feelings. I've tried to talk C out of it, but nothing works. Any ideas? Details of what I've tried is below.

It started after a chat about which actors people would sleep with. C absolutely couldn't understand why I don't want no strings attached sex with this actor (or any actor). It was causing C distress, so I explained that if I'm in a relationship then sex is great and I'm only attracted to this actor in one of their roles.

Since then, I've explained to C over and over:

- The actor and I live in different countries and I ain't moving

- The actor's interviews lead me to believe we have incompatible personalities

- The chances of the actor and I meeting are so, so small

- I'm not that attracted to the actor

- They are way more attractive than me

- They probably have a partner of some sort already

- I don't want to date someone in the public eye

- I know what I'm looking for in a partner and this actor doesn't seem to have those traits

Being brutally honest, neither of us have been perfect.

On her side:

- She has ditched all but three of our meet-ups in the last 8 months. Often she hasn't told me until minutes before or up to two hours after that either she won't be making the meet-up or that she will be late

- Our last meet-up was at her house, a storm rolled in and she drove us through the storm and dropped me at a local shopping center rather than have me wait out the storm at her house. It was in the evening and the only parts of the shopping center that were open was the cinema and the food court (I was catching a bus home and needed to go there anyway)

- Every club that we have joined together, she has quit. Even the ones that she convinced me to join because she was serious about joining herself. She has a history of trying to talk me out of going to the classes I've tried to stick with and spend time with her instead

- She insisted on remoting in to my computer to set up my university courses so they matched hers as closely as possible

-When I investigated and chose some courses that weren't the same as the ones she was doing, she told me how difficult they were, discouraged me from studying and I felt that she became quite rude and defensive over one of the course choices

- She didn't tell me that she was considering or that she had withdrawn from university, leaving me without a lab partner for a couple of complicated labs

- It's too difficult for her to drive half an hour to my house. To get to her house I have to walk for 10 minutes, catch a bus, change buses, stay on that bus for a good 20 minutes and then wait for her to pick me up from a convenient spot

- She critiques how I chop vegetables and often takes over while telling me that she is hungry and would like to eat sooner rather than later

- She has challenged me on to name instances when she has been wrong, because she believes she is always right

- She went through something terrible early last year, the anniversary came around this year and she shut me out for months with barely a word and even ignored my text messages

- She confessed to me that the only reason why she has been encouraging my drawing adventures is because she felt it was good for me. She said that she never says no to free art, but she doesn't really care about it

- She has started telling me things that I really should do, because 'it's good for me'

- I need to be careful with certain topics of conversation because I trigger her easily

- When I told her that I wasn't able and didn't want to discuss something bad that was happening in my life and that I wasn't up for being social, she insisted that I should come over to her house and talk to her about it

- She is constantly telling me what to do generally, not just when it's good for me

On my side:

- I promised her a few pictures, stories, some cakes and a video thing I was working on and never got them finished or even started them

- I lost my purse going to a doctor she insisted I go to, and even though it wasn't her fault and she helped me look, I got very upset with her

- I freaked out when she and her sister walked away from me at a festival and was unable to catch up with them because they kept moving further into the festival. This resulted in me texting her to find out what I'd done and why they hadn't waited for me

- She would always buy the food for our pig-outs at her house because I was frequently broke

- I had a couple of freak-outs when she was encouraging me to cook food that I was unfamiliar with

- I chose to spend money I didn't have and go to a family wedding that I knew I wasn't going to enjoy rather than go to her housewarming that was on the same night

- Lately I haven't bothered starting texting conversations with her because I don't know if she'll reply

- She's asked me to hang out with her lately, I just don't want to so I pike

- I feel like it's really difficult getting to her house and would prefer not to go there

- I've been telling my housemate's about the things she's been doing and they now think she's a terrible person

- I'm a very dramatic person and something dramatic is always happening to me or around me. It's probably not that bad, but I've still asked for her help a lot and probably not been there for her in equal capacity

- I got very upset after another time that she ditched me and decided that I wanted to return a whole bunch of books she lent me. I was very, very stubborn about the location of the exchange and cranky when she showed up

- Since she told me that she doesn't care about my artwork at all, I haven't been sharing it with her but still posting it on Facebook and my Blog. She reads both

Thoughts?

My dad and his family suddenly wants us all to be the best of friends, have extended family gatherings etc. There is now loads of pressure to go, I don't want to and I'm afraid of the consequences. It's a bit embarrassing because I'm in my 30's.

My step-mother still sexually assaults and generally abuses me, and I don't want to go near her to give her the chance any more. I'm her only target, so I can't justify having her charged, it'd probably kill my dad and tear my family to shreds.

I've been responsible for my dad's emotions since I was 6. If anything ever happened to me that he could be blamed for, it was my problem. I don't remember ever being hugged or held, and if I cried, I was yelled at. He's told me that he can't live with me and it's easier without me around. He left me to rot when I needed money but couldn't admit that to the government and I couldn't get financial aid. One time I was forbidden to call for a lift back to his house late at night, and had to be rescued by strangers from two men who were trying to attack me. When I got to his house, he got angry with me and glared and yelled at me and insinuated that I was trying to blame the person who told me not to call him.

My relatives tried to take my sibs and I away from my dad after our mother died. Since I was only 6, I was the easiest to get information from. They were found out and blamed everything on what I'd told them. Things they'd blown wildly out of proportion. Since then they have been distant from me, stayed away and never invited me to anything.

It doesn't feel safe to be around these people and I feel as though I'll freak out if I go. If I keep making excuses and evade gatherings, I'll get found out. Help!

I saw a physio therapist on Monday who is apparently excellent but after seeing him, I have the heebie jeebies.

He didn't really ask for my full injury history, even though I tried to tell him, and to me that seems pretty darn important since it's my achilles tendon at risk. He focused only on my ankles, didn't check anywhere else for instability or contributing, related issues. He seemed more interested in getting me to join their small internal gym and brushing off my questions about exercise I could be doing by saying that I could come to their gym for a start.

A different guy started me on my exercises but was also getting another two people to complete their own so he didn't even check if my placement was right and that I was maintaining it. There wasn't even a mirror so I couldn't check myself and correct. He also didn't indicate a speed/rate of performing the exercise, and what he demonstrated was aerobics speed which doesn't seem quite right for rehab somehow. They even seemed relatively unconcerned about pretty severe pain that started in other areas of my body unrelated to what I was doing at the time.

They also wrote me off as someone who has been working at a desk for years without even asking how long I've in my current line of work. I've only been working at a desk job for barely 5 months and had to leave my usual work where I was on my feet all day because my feet and back were in agony all the time, no matter what the podiatrist had made up. Even so, I roller skate 1-2 times a week, spend all weekend running around on my feet and walk home from work several times a week. Which is a 50 minute walk at a brisk pace. I have a second job that I walk two and from twice in one day. I guess this is something I should have told them?

Worst of all, when I mentioned my history of achilles problems and my fear that it would come back with the kind of exercises I was prescribed, I was told that if it comes back then they'd just rehab the achilles issues. That seems counter productive to me, and, well, just very, very wrong. Surely you can rehab someone in a way that gets them to strengthen and recover without causing an old injury to reoccur to a point that it need rehab.

Over sensitive much? Or right to be concerned?

I've just moved into a share house, the people are cool, the room is not so much but livable enough and the downstairs reeks of old cat food and litter box... The cat is a cute one and currently lives here.

I didn't notice it when I checked the place out because all the doors were open and it wasn't a crazy hot day, but the stench is incredible when the doors have been shut and the day is hot. The litter box is in the garage, there are no windows, it's not changed every day and there is no liner in the box to absorb the urine.

What can I do to reduce the smell? Ideas anyone?

In a nutshell: I can no longer draw without feeling super stressed, frustrated and pressured, and I have no idea how to loosen up and enjoy art again. I get inspired, go to get my materials and then fizz out the moment I look at my pencil. Below is the reason why:

A few years ago I used to draw every day, on the train, at lunch, I'd sculpt and paint every chance I got. After a while I got into drawing anime which was fun, but then it started to get me attention that I didn't really want. Art had been a way of relaxing for me, at first the extra attention was nice and exciting but then the amount of requests began piling up and peoples expectations (and my own) became sky high.

Things collapsed after a particularly difficult commission contract, and a creepy guy episode that was related directly to a little tv spot I did regarding anime and drawing. Every now and then I can make myself draw, but I really struggle to get the work done and I stress out about the quality of the work. When I do churn out something or let people see my old work, I usually get pounced on and pummelled with various declarations of disappointment at my 'waste of talent' and then get very unsubtle gifts of art supplies. The worst part is, I know what wonderful artwork looks like, the principals and technique that goes into great work and mine has never been of that quality. It's so frustrating trying to explain this to people that I have almost completely stopped drawing altogether.

Underneath the frustration, stress and ridiculously high standards is still an urge to draw. Does anyone know any techniques so I can just chill out and enjoy creating art again? Not associate it with being crazy stressed?

One of my associates wants her daughters-to-be and junior bridesmaids ages 13 and 11, to pose in the wedding photos in a way that I feel isn't right. She wants the women as well as her step-children to pose with their skirts hiked up and showing their garters. She then wants another photo with the groomsmen to pose with the bride and maids, putting money in the garters. None of the groomsmen are boys or teenagers.

I think this is completely wrong and not at all appropriate for girls that young. Am I being over-sensitive?

I have a head band that I love, but it hurts my head terribly so I don't wear it. I've already had someone grind back the length of the sides so I can wear it, but the actual shape of the head band is so rounded that it digs painfully into my skull even after having 3 centimetres ground off. So the only thing I can think of is using heat to change the shape.

Have any of you tried using a hair drier to reshape french style cellulose acetate? Was it successful? Do you have to be careful of anything in particular?

Thank you!

Hi,

Very lost. My ex (we're 'taking a break') and I stopped seeing each other a month ago, my call, not his. He hadn't told me that he gets cold sores, didn't tell me he was infectious and it looks like he's given them to me. Waiting for the test to get back. To make matters worse, he's supposed to be Christian and celibate but that didn't stop him from doing something that could have resulted in pregnancy. I'm ill and had to rule out that possibility.

What happened wasn't exactly with my permission. I'd asked him to stop, said that it hurt and he didn't. And it wasn't the first time he continued doing something I'd asked him not to. He embarrassed me in front of our friends once, blaming me for something and then saying it was a joke, asked me to hide my age (I'm older), ignored me when I gave him a birthday present and barely apologised for the cold sores. He was angry with how upset I was.

I can't go back, I still like him deeply. How do you move on? My first relationship.

J