Tony G

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi was concerned that he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest go into the confessional together.

In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

The priest asks, "What did you do?"

The woman says, "I committed adultery."

Priest: "How many times?"

Woman: "Three times."

Priest: "Say three Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more."

A few minutes later, a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

Priest: "What did you do?"

Man: "I committed adultery."

Priest: "How many times?"

Man: "Three times."

Priest: "Say three Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more."

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later, another woman enters and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

Rabbi: "What did you do?"

Woman: "I committed adultery."

Rabbi: "How many times?"

Woman: "Once."

Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5.00."

The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, none of who could figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician. After about an hour's examination the physician came out and told the cardinals that he had some good news and some bad news.

The bad news was that the pope had a rare disorder of the testicles, which if left untreated, would be fatal. The good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured, was to have sex.

Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the Pope with the doctor and explained the situation.

After some thought, the Pope stated, "Though it pains me, I agree to be with a woman but only under four conditions."

The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over the noise a single voice asked, "And what are the four conditions?"

The room stilled. There was a long pause….

The Pope replied, "First the woman must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex."

"Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex."

"And third, she must be mute so that if somehow the blind, deaf woman figures out she's having sex with the Pope, she'll be unable to tell anyone."

With that said, the Pope rose and started walking out of the room. Just as he reached the doorway, another voice arose from the room and asked,

"But Holy Father, what about the fourth condition?"

The Pope then turned around and replied, "Oh yeah...big t i t s."

Just a little riddle/logic problem to send your brain scrambling for a while. Here it goes...

Identical twins, Jack and John, suffer from a rare, dual personality disorder. In his normal state, Jack always tells the truth but in his altered state he always lies. John is the opposite - in his normal state he always lies and in his altered state he always tells the truth. And just in case, the identical twins are indistinguishable.

Question 1 - Suppose you meet one of the twins one day, what simple yes or no question can you ask him to determine whether he's Jack or John?

Question 2 - Suppose you again meet one of the twins, but instead of wanting to know who he is, you want to determine what state he is in. What simple yes or no question can you ask him?

Question 3 - Hope you're still with me here...now let's suppose that instead of wanting to know what state one brother is in, you want to know whether or not the brothers are in the same state (again, you're not determining who's who, just their state). What simple yes or no question would you ask?

Well, there it is. Make sure to justify your answers...er...questions. First one to answer all 3 questions correctly and justify their answers gets the points. Good luck...

To the person who posted a what would you do question with the following situation: you went out with a some Air Force buddies, passed out in the back after drinking, and then woke up to a guy feeling you up. I tried posting and answer but you deleted the question before I finished. Here's my take and I hope you see this...

I happen to disagree with those who lay the blame on you. Yes, you could have taken other courses of actions that would have made you less vulnerable. But this does not mean that you are to blame.

The fact of the matter is that this individual took it upon himself to take advantage you. And while doing so, he fondled you to gratify his own sexual desires. HE made the decision to do this, NOT YOU. And by doing this, he SEXUALLY ASSAULTED YOU!

Does alcohol have something to do with this? Absolutely (the majority of sexual assaults do). But alcohol does not justify what he did and therefore you should not sit on this.

If you are in the military, take yourself to the chaplain, the base SARC (Sexual Assault Response Coordinator), your Unit Victim Advocate (UVA), or your military healthcare provider and let them know what happen. These are the only people who can keep this confidential without your command/police knowing about it. Just ask that you want to make it a RESTRICTED report. With this restricted reporting, the military (those 4 individuals) will take care of you without pursuing any criminal charges. In short, it's simply to give you the medical/mental care that you need.

Now, if you want to make it into an UNRESTRICTED report, you can also do so with the above personnel (which is what I recommend). In this case, everyone (including police, CID, your command) will be alerted, and while you are being taken care of, and investigation will be initiated.

You are a victim here, and for all you/we know, your not his first victim and you may not be his last. If you need more info, shoot me an email.