jammy

I feel like I just want to do it, I want to see blood but why? I feel just fine before hand but when I get the urge I just want to do it, I could happily rn go do something else and be fine but I’m choosing to cut. Is this a form of self attention seeking or is it common? I need to know asap

honestly, im going to put myself out there in the hope people can actually help. Im really not sure what's wrong with me or if anything is even wrong with me and if im just thinking something should be - honestly that's the way my mind works. Back to the story of my life. 

- dad 'kidnapped' me when I was a baby and I was away from my mum for a year

- I was raped at 16 by someone but Its like a consensual rape? sometimes I feel bad for calling it a rape and you'll see why. so I told him I don't want to do it, its weird etc but in a jokey way.. but I kept saying it, but basically I don't really remember the details but I was saying things suggesting no. once it started I just lay there but I was moaning cos I didn't want him to run and tell everyone I was **** because he's very known. 

- lived with dad again then he kicked me out / very bad relationship

-got pregnant and had an abortion at 5 months which fucked me up

-been cheated on repeatedly by one guy a few months after that had no knowledge of my past

I don't share my past with anyone but im asking, why can I not feel my emotions? I don't know if im depressed because sometimes I feel sad and I just don't know why like which event caused it. im changing as a person defo, I just need some advice on what to do in general please. im gonna lose the plot. 

I’ve given myself 3 weeks to get over a guy who has cheated on me multiple times in the space of a few months. There’s another girl who he’s with now but he cheats on her too they’re not official & neither were we but he’s a total c*** and I just want to get over him. He’s on my mind constantly and I’m so motivated to get over him I just don’t know what I’ll do if I see him out and about