Joshua

my lower left back, there is this off and on ache that will come back and i will feel it in my lower left back right above my butt. i tend to feel it when i lay down or twist it around or something. but the weird thing is is it don't last long. it subsides and then i go for the better part of a day without feeling something. i can run for long distances, work just fine, and work out etc. and i don't feel really any discomfort in doing so. most of my days are pretty normal. it just comes up at random times where i feel this aching and it's not really painful, just i would put it at discomfort. this has gone on for many months though probably 7 or 8. have i pulled it really good? kidneys i don't think it would be cuz i've never done anything to really damage them. i don't drink at all never have. never smoked tooken drugs. i've kept myself in good condition and kidney disease would be rapid and more painful than this. what could it be? im 22 by the way and male

So I am no longer a kid, I'm 22 but i'm treated like a kid when i'm over with my parents. They just don't show anyone younger than them respect in general. They had some church friends over the other night and one of them made a remark about my hair and basically inferred i look like a pretty boy. The whole table laughed. I laughed too and immediately said "Well at least I have hair". No one responded, nor laughed, just went dead silent but I was snickering to myself and eating my food. Then I got a dirty look from one of my parents! I was like well, who was the one that started it folks? He started it, I finished it. Why is it ok for adults to have their fun but frown upon something witty being thrown back their way?

Let's be honest here. Women nearly always expect men to do more in a relationship. They think they can free ride on their backs and expect all these things out of them and if they mess up it's WW3. Meanwhile, if the woman doesn't expect the same of herself, it's no big deal. Men are expected to be emotionless, tolerate everything, and to never have a bad day. If there are problems in their lives, men are told they are being negative and pessimistic. If a woman bitches about her co-workers, family, friends, etc. then the man is expected to listen to it and join in on the bashing rather than offering solutions that would actually be helpful. Women would rather have guys who treat them like total crap because they are stupid enough to believe that they can fix them rather than take a guy who has his **** together and exhibits none of that kind of behavior. Would someone care to explain this to me? Why is it ok to take advantage of men in our society and hold a double standard towards them compared to yourselves girls? Hmmmm?

I think the media is exaggerating

The point where you realize that when you need the help, no one is there for you like you were for them all those years. And you are left by yourself, alone in the midst of your struggles. You realize all that hard time, work, effort, feels like vanity. And you just feel this coldness rise inside you and this change where you know you will never go back to that kind of a person again. You finally realize that people are just not worth it and that no matter how hard you try, how many tears you shed, begging and pleading for help, that all you are gonna get is silence. And you just feel like someone wandering around surviving and you are reduced to that state. You have those moments where you have flashes of your old self and you wanna be that person again but you remember where that got you. You shut yourself out. Close down inside. And basically just drift around waiting for something good to happen and then laugh and cry at night thinking of how stupid you are to believe that something good could ever come your way. Anyone else ever experience that?

My girlfriend often speaks about dreams she has of other guys trying to convince her to go with them and away from me. That or she dreams of me leaving her. I would never do that. That's not who I am as a person, it never has been and it never will be, etc. But like she has these dreams very frequently where these guys she knows whether exes or co workers or whatever are trying to sway her away from me. It would be one thing if I just heard about it once, but she seems to have a pattern of having them. I don't have dreams like that. I just don't understand what's going through her mind. It worries me.

A while back, my girlfriend told me that if something ever happened to her that I could remarry and be happy. I told her, there is no way in hell after everything that I have gone through before her, and everything I have gone through to be with her, that I would ever be capable of being with someone else. I am stubborn as hell and will not back down from that stance either should anyone want to try and challenge me on it. I'd go to the grave waiting to re-unite with her. She then asked me if I wouldn't want her to remarry if something happened to me. I said I would hope not, assuming I died of old age because I'm not stupid and am not gonna go get myself killed at a young age. But the thought of her asking that just kind of made my stomach cringe. Like, it immediately sent flags to my brain that I would be replaceable to her. Because the way she said it, I know what she was leaning towards. Call me selfish or self-centered or whatever but you would see why I am that way if you guys all knew the circumstances that were present in my life and what I have to go through to be with her. She doesn't exactly live close at the moment. I spend a lot of time apart from her and after going through so much effort to go see her, i'm not gonna lie. It hurts. I take things personally. And I just wonder if anyone else would feel the same hurt hearing those words. I understand some of you want them to be happy, but that choice they make to be with someone else rings through all of eternity.

Better yet, why did he create an angel he knew one day would fall and lead a hierarchy of demons against mankind to inflict suffering on them and cause unbearable suffering? How is it free will if none of us ever chose this to be here and were forced to deal with the suffering and pain this life is? How do we really know God is perfect? He's perfect according to his own standards, that's for sure. Why should we all be punished for the mistakes of 2? How is that justified?

The best answer I could come up with is he has done it for his own entertainment. That he doesn't really care what becomes of any of us. I'm almost starting to wonder if the deists that I argued with all my life were halfway right. I mean there is so so much evil in this world and no end to how much people get away with it. They choose it. They do horrible despicable things all the time, and God expects us to tolerate it all our lives and take stuff from us either way no matter what choice we make?

Who would wanna follow someone like that? How could he expect we would want a relationship with him? Of course if we don't he just sends us to hell to burn. It's so beyond aggravating.

Every single day that goes by, people go out of their way to do something to piss me off. I ignore it, brush it off, move on with life, but as of recently the attacks are too much to brush off. I lost my Mom recently to a suicide after she spent a decade drinking herself to death and ruining my childhood. I've had friend after friend that I constantly go out of the way to be there for and help and I never get any effort back on their part. They just drag it out as long as they need me and move on. Many of them stab me in the back. I have been lied to and led on by so many women before I came across the one. I searched and searched and again put tons of effort in and am experiencing some of those same problems now with putting more into the relationship than the other one is. Although I do not have the ability to leave it because I am so mentally ******* exhausted at this point that I would never bother with one again. That and the fact that I cannot live without the one I am with now because she is one of the only very few people I love and I really don't need to lose anymore. I feel my sanity shrinking, my patience and tolerance are out the window. I'm constantly pissed at God because he gives everything to people who do nothing to earn anything. They are lazy, and don't put in anywhere near the amount of effort I do into anything. But I am a target. I have a dysfunctional family, I spend so much time away from my girlfriend because she lives far away. I never get a break

I ordered on Amazon a sexual natured toy that will ship here by Wednesday. Will they send it in discreet packaging since it will ship here so quick? The seller is IUQY and I think they work with Amazon

I got hired on Jan 2nd and am in job shadow, then academy, then on the job training, then they let me loose. What I was told is we get 5 hours of vacation time to start with and 5 more for each pay period, so twice a month...I don't understand how many hours equals how many days because I took it literally when I heard it thinking I would have 4 days off at the end of the year. I don't get it. I ask because I plan on taking a trip at the end of the year and would really like to spend 3 weeks up there if possible, but will settle for 2. And I was gonna ask them before the holidays get here and go before they do get here so they don't say they are short-staffed and keep me.

I had this one friend named Tim, although he wasn't much of a friend now that I think of it. We hung out a few times and worked together a year or so and he lied to me telling me that he had gotten over his drug addiction previously before he knew me and then revealed he had been using the entire time. Me, caring for his well-being, offered him help and to see someone I knew who personally in past had struggled and told him if he wanted, I could arrange them to meet. He told me to go **** myself and I never heard from him again. Another year or so goes by and another friend told me that they saw him. And that he was asking about me and told that person of his disliking for me. And then told them that he (Tim) reapplied at the same job that he walked out on in tears and rage. Clearly, something is seriously wrong with him.

What is wrong with people in this society? I'm not much of one to care what people think of me, but I can't help but be curious at how lost some people truly are.

Ok so two orders, neither of which was more than $40 and also are set to arrive on Thursday got shipped to my Mom's house rather than my house. It was an error and it's because I had more than one address on my account since i've been a member a few years. My Mom's house is abandoned, she is dead, but she is surrounded by people who live around her, neighbors. Since neither order is that expensive, I assume they would not need a signature?

I don't need to hear any crap about anyone's opinions on whether they work or not because i've been committed to the one I am in for 2 years and am planning to pop the question at the end of this year with this person who has already told me they would say yes. I'm not exactly a dummy. I know what a marriage consists of, the sacrifices that are to be made, the fights you will get in, the stress, the sleepless nights. To be quite frank, I realize parts of marriage and sometimes many of them can be a living hell that test your patience. To be more matter of fact, I have watched what works and what doesn't work and come from a dysfunctional family so I have a good vision of what I see working and always making sure that I am sacrificing and putting all my efforts into my spouse and my family that I create with them. I met this woman 2 years ago, a little more. I struggled bad with people here and went out of my way for a lot of people in person who had no intentions of doing the same for me. I learned the same lesson many times, and after I had called it quits and given up, this woman messaged me from a different country. I live in the U.S., her in Indonesia. We got to know each other. We both are 22 now, we were going on 20 when we met. She was 20, I was 19. I have in that time flown down 3 times in 2017 to meet her and we have formally spent time with each other in person and gotten to see qualities in each other that are both good and bad. We are willing and committed to work

You got a creepy *** lakehome, what you presume are squatters, a major psychological twist at the end. It's dark nearly the entire time, the film is low budget and does an incredible job at creating an element of fear and the soundtrack/instrumentals are chilling and foreboding. What is there not to like about it?