slammamama

Adult daughter lives in a home we own. She adopted two BIG adult dogs who proved to be nothing the previous owner represented: not house broken, destructive, aggressive toward cats (one of which she has). They go from the crate into the back yard, which they have DESTROYED, including deck furniture, grandson's trampoline, decking, every toy and landscape plant in existence. They don't hang out with her in the house bc they're too destructive. They are never walked or played with. They are like LIVESTOCK who have turned a yard it took 10 years to

landscape into essentially a mud livestock yard. (Dogs have been here 6 months now.)

One of the dogs broke my hand. Thousands of $$$$. They shredded the new $700 trampoline I bought for my grandson, but he can't play anyway bc of the dogs out there. The furniture is ruined--all the fabric torn off w/ just foam exposed, the carpet is ruined from urine and mud, it stinks to high heaven bc they're smelly from living outside, all the toys that were stored down there have been destroyed.

I have said many times the dogs have to go, but I am ignored. I pay the bills for the house. She is living there while finishing school. Her boyfriend says it's "too emotional" for her, that she can't give them up. I know she feels bad for getting rooked by that desperate former owner, but this is all my property getting destroyed. She isn't attached to the varmints or she would be training them and walking them every day. I have had it. Any help is appreciated.

Our daughter has been a mother figure to her husband's child for over 9 years. The child's parents were not married, but our daughter and the child's father are. They have lived in our home for most of those years, so the little one has been surrounded by parents, grands, uncles, aunts, cousins. The birth mother is mentally ill and has gone for years with no contact until recently, when her mother hired an attorney to pursue visitation through the court. The birth mother has failed to keep those supervised visits.

The grandmother also petitioned for, and received, visitation after 5 years of NO contact with the child. Not even cards by mail or phone calls. Now every other week, she tells the child, now 10, that we are not related, we are not family, our daughter is not a mom, the cousins and aunts and uncles are like strangers. This is a child who routinely goes for sleepovers, cookouts, away for weekends, to ballgames, on vacation---all the activities extended family does with kids, for kids. Our grandchild is always at the center of it all--active, lively, LOVES social stuff, joking, cutting up. The neighborhood children here are all playmates. This is HOME. The kitchen wall has the growth chart through all the years, the little foot prints are in the concrete---everything that makes a child's memories of home.

Tonight after the visit there were tears, screaming, anguish, because once again that grandmother has said awful things about us, called us names, said we aren't related so we can't possibly love our grandchild. It is absolutely horrible. Here's the kicker: this woman goes to court with her minister every time, going on and on under oath about what a Christian pillar she is, how active she is in her parish, and so forth. How important religion is and how the child should be in church. Yet this is the type of person she is, to tell a little child that non-related family doesn't love you if you aren't "blood."

We've already spent tens of thousands of dollars going to court and nothing has changed. Until age 12 the child is not allowed to be heard. Do you know how much damage can be done in the next two years by this woman? I just really needed to blow this off. Ironically, even with "blood" grands, this one is my favorite. My heart just breaks over all this turmoil and strife, because all in the world we need is to be left alone and just live our lives.But I tell anybody this, including the judge if it comes to it: if this woman exemplifies what a Christian is, no way in hell do I want that. Or want my grandchild to have it. Thanks for just letting me get this out. I love the little pipsqueak so much this kills me.

It has been acceptable and proper for a long time because there is no other single word to replace it. Has something transpired to make offensive now?

My 9 y.o. grandson has had a step mom since he was a baby. She used to be very tender, sweet, loving, and truly caring toward him. She is the only mother he has ever known. Now she has changed into a sharp, mean, critical fault finder who barks every time she opens her mouth, but ONLY to him. He has confided in other family members that she is mean to him, which is obvious to all around them. She used to volunteer in his school and undertake all sorts of activities with him. Not once in 3 years now has she even gone to eat lunch with him. Takes no interest in his sports and so forth.

She acts the same as always toward other people and treats other children in the family nicely. He is a good little boy, I can honestly say. He is mindful, obedient, polite, but she grinds on him like he's a brat, which he is NOT. He is so eager to please you can just see it in his little face.

Has anyone else had this experience, and if so, did you intervene? I have dropped very specific hints about how much he needs her love, how dear he is, but it seems to get worse. I'm not there every day but those who are say it is just awful. She and his father have separated and he is back and forth to the two homes, but she more often than not leaves him for others to care for and doesn't even phone to check on him. I am just sick about it.

Complex, but right now, after 7 years, the noncustodial parent has been told by the judge to pay all arrears of support (none in 7 years) pay the legal fees she has created for the custodial parent, not file any more motions, and basically "don't come back." She has kept the custodial parent in court almost nonstop & incurred ---for HIM--tens of thousands in legal fees, which she is ordered to repay.

Now she has filed for bankruptcy, very conveniently, meaning that despite judges' orders that money will never be repaid, and her mother has filed for custody of the child, who is 8. She hasn't been party to the past years' dealings, so she is effectively picking up the mantle since the "mother" is forbidden by the court from taking it any further.

How long can this go on? And isn't there a provision to stop people from just dragging out cases for years? I don't know how much has been spent by the grandparents fighting this woman. Neither of them has ever hired a lawyer, so they're not out anything--not even lost wages for going to court, bc neither of them has a job.( this is in NC)

Today is a hearing for my grandson's custody. He's 9, has always lived with his father, and his mother has hired a lawyer and filed for full custody. The child doesn't like her, remembers visits when he was little when there was no food, that she did crazy things, and has no desire to even visit her. The judge has shown a pattern of contempt for our son, based on nothing except her own prejudices, it seems. No matter that the bio mom has no case, we are terrified that our little boy will have to go be with her. Please just send up some support and positive energy for our family today.

We have spent so much money, our son has done every single thing right, & she has never once done what is ordered--counseling, paying support, providing proof of employment. Has even violated no-contact orders, yet she never gets in trouble AND is allowed to file for custody. So far the "system" has failed our little guy. Please trust that I am being 100% honest in my characterization of this case and just remember us today. He is so precious and being with her is so not in his best interest.

for over four years, I have worked seven days a week, usually 10 - 12 hours a day. I have one partner who views it as solely HIS business and says so every opportunity. He never listens to my ideas, ignores my advice, goes over me in handling employees, subverting what I have told them even though he isn't involved in the part of the business we work in. He enters into agreements without telling me, obligates us to debt with individuals, hires and fires without any input from me. I learn second or third hand--from employees-- about even very important decisions.

I have earned a token wage all this time, working the first 2 years with no pay. Meanwhile, he has spent generously out of the business on leisure activities, drinking, etc. I have had to pay taxes on HIS draws, of course.

I am tired of being worked like a pack mule and ignored. I am certain that if my ideas had been implemented, we could be in very good shape right now. As it is, i have loaned the business thousands of dollars to keep it afloat while my partner makes stupid moves based on his ego alone.

My quandry is this: I really want out, but pulling out now will spell the death of this business. If I stay, nothing will change. I entered this undertaking with a solid plan for the income it would provide, and I do need the money it COULD earn. But all I'm getting is my measly pay (less than minimum wage) and getting stuck repaying myself for the "loans."

Do I stay, or do I pull out, knowing the business will implode? My capital is all that has kept it from failing so far. I am verbally abused, told how stupid I am, how little I know, how much smarter he is. It sounds like a no-brainer, but my partner is my son.

anyone with experience in this area--I would love to hear from you. Smart *** kids with snarky remarks, please save it for later. I have enough to deal with right now.

I spend probably 10 hrs a day, 6 days a week working so it's heavily used, but for the past month or so it has begun to just black out. Sometimes it comes back, sometimes not. Had a man clean it up, remove and reinstall some stuff, get all the dust out, but it is still happening. So what I need is:

Is this a serious precursor to pending death? and

Can it be fixed?

thanks

The Fios DVR didn't record, even tho' it's all set up & has never failed yet. Frantic. How to watch the 2 hour finale ASAP? Thanks

In exactly 4 wks. time, our daughter has withdrawn from home, partner, child, all activities except her job; spends all her time away, even in the evenings, refusing to say where she is or what she's doing. Tells him it's none of his business.

She isn't using drugs, and to family members (who live far away) she is acting pretty normaly, phone chats, etc. , aside from pulling this disappearing act; yet her partner says she won't talk, not even polite exchanges, ignores the family, ignores all of her duties, and is lying a LOT; he described a couple he had heard her tell on the phone that I knew for certain she had said to me. Fabricated.

Please help me understand what might be going on. I am just sick over this, esp. for her little child. Does she need an *** kicking or hospitalization?

found a gorgeous silk blouse for an amazing price, I'm sure bc it has small, dark stains which actually look like it was stepped on. It's white, of course, so the marks really show. The tag says to machine wash, so I'm not afraid of that, and I've already read about removing stains using cornstarch, ammonia dilute, or dish soap. But they referred to salad dressing or olive oil stains, not shoe sole or dirt marks.

Any ideas? I can't risk ruining this blouse. Thanks

MIL phoned this weekend asking why her daughter, my husband's sister, hasn't been invited to our daughter's wedding. (Rather than just phoning her granddaughter directly.) When she DID reach our daughter, as instructed by my husband, our daughter told her she had already received her aunt's regrets. So auntie not only had an invitation, but had responded to it.

Why would MIL insinuate herself into something that is a) none of her business and b) a matter that she could easily have got to the bottom of herself by just asking her daughter, who lives very near her. Why stir up so much drama over nothing?! (It chaps my beehind)

A key employee in a small business is trashing the owners verbally, disclosing personal information about them, criticizing their management style, and generally blabbing very inappropriate stuff. Other employees have gone to the owners with their concerns, questioning whether these types of comments are being made to customers as well. What would you do? She has been talked to before for treading in territory that isn't her place, like discussing the company's bank balances in front of the whole office. Is this grounds for dismissal?

I only specified one single detail that I wanted left alone,which was my bangs. I just got them long enough to tuck behind my ear and i hate hate hate hair in my eyes, but when I got home I discovered she cut them so they hit right at my eyelashes. I am so POd and realize it's petty of me, but it is the only specific request I made out of a whole head of hair.

What should I do besides stew and not go back to her? (it's my usual place, different stylist. Otherwise good cut.)

Electric water heater is fairly new and both bathrooms have nice hot water, but kitchen faucet and dishwasher won't even get hot enough to wash dishes. It's probably around 100 degrees. Pressure is OK, though not great. It's a single lever style faucet, installed in April this year when we bought the house.

House is built on a slab with all plumbing running through concrete, but since a bathroom on the same side of the house as the kitchen has good hot water, it probably isn't the long trip from the heater that's cooling the water down. (it's maybe 30')

thanks for any and all suggestions. I hate to think I need to jackhammer these floors to solve the problem!

Have surgery scheduled for both feet (not at the same time) and would appreciate first hand reports on aftermath, recovery, etc. 25 yo female, work on my feet in 12 hr. shifts,and Dr says it's crucial to get them fixed, as a nursing career will never be spent sitting down. Not overweight or with any other health problems. Thanks so much.

50 invitations were ordered, mailed, to a shower. Meeting hall was rented, food purchased, decorations, custom cake--100s of $$$ invested. No one sent regrets. Then only a handful of people showed up. How can people be so rude and disrespectful? Can anybody explain if a) they don't understand the need to reply to an invitation or b) they are oblivious to the expense and work that goes into planning an event? I am furious and it wasn't even my party! It seems so ignorant and impolite.

Overstressed at work, really bummed about everything, overwhelmed, he's just out of it. I baked him a pie but that didn't register. Would like to do something that isn't expensive or time-consuming, bc he works all the time. I try to focus on the fact that, in this economy, he even has a job--and a good one--but that's lost on him. Suggestions? thanks

Son and his fiance are planning a wedding which will be in excess of 100K, mostly footed by her parents. She expects him to spend a load and us between 6 and 10K for rehearsal party, accomodations, etc. ;that doesn't include travel and car rentals, etc. to travel cross country. We don't have this kind of money. She has known us for many years and is aware that we are not well to do. He will put himself in financial straits if he borrows to pay for the things she's asking. They are in their mid 30s, professionals. He won't tell her he can't afford it. I just need to know how to word it without sounding like I don't want her to have her dream wedding.

(We can't even afford to stay at the wedding venue bc it's so expensive.)

Regardless of where I am, it quits working over and over, many times a day. Why? And what can I do about it except pay Bill Gates hundreds of dollars to talk to somebody?!