Jean18yahoo

f so did you receive any answers from the medical profession as to why it appears?

Has anyone got this condition or know anyone you has, I have been ill for a long while I have many of the symptoms and I'm going for blood tests in the morning to determine whether or not i have this!! My Mother had it. I would appreciate any personal experiences or answers from the medical profession... Thank you Jean

Religions are man-made organized groups of people, made up by people from all over the world since the beginning of time!! No matter what the label is!! Thousands upon thousands of different names....

Spirituality comes from within the individual, and can be described as feeling of love, and knowing we are being looked after by whatever power we conceive it to be.... Like the Desiderata says...

Desiderata - by max ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

I would like to try and keep a baby magpie alive, It has only a few feathers on it so I haven't a clue how old it is, as I fear the mother has been shot last night, it looks like there is only one in the nest, I live near the countryside. Thank you in advance for any help

I need advice before writing to a social worker on someone else's behalf?? Please feel free to email me privately... Thank you Jean

Ive had an echo- cardiogram done and its came out as my heart is working fine, they say its a little enlarged but that's all??...Also my lungs came out looking ok in the xray as well... I'm at my wits end with this!! All Ive been told to do is increase my furosemide to 80mg in the mornings (water retention tablets)...

By the late afternoon they are just as badly swollen with pitting edema. this is when I press my finger into the ankle joint, the indent stays there for quite a while... I would really appreciate any information Doctors are giving me no other explanation... Please Help!!!

Even when I tick a box asking me if I want to stay signed in for two weeks, I still have to sign in every time I go to ask or answer a question.... Its putting me off and pis***g me off too!!

Even when I tic the box to say Keep me signed in for two weeks, I still have to enter my password and my user name every time I go to answer a question or ask one??...

Its putting me off participating.... Its really pis***g me off!!

I an currently having investigations done for pitting edema and fluid around the lungs, but the cardiac specialist never explained to me whether I should take more fluids, or try and drink less, Until all the tests have been done, they have put me up to 80mg from 40mg of furosimide, and 300mg allpurinol for gout!! If anyone has any other information at all as to how I can help my self in the meantime until I get a final diagnosis, I would be very grateful indeed.... Thanks in advance Jean

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine..

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required..

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

Send this to all the guys who need a laugh and the women who can handle it!! ........From Jean

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me .. . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said to me. .... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

I said to him . .......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him .. . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

I said to him ... . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

I said...What do yo u call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

He said. . . A widow.

He said to me . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?

I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

I have three or four different live accounts and I only want to keep the messenger one.... I don't know how I got myself into this mess, and Ive been trying to delete these other ones for days!! I am following all the instuctions to no avail and Im slowly going off my head!! Can anyone help?? I have different passwords and different sign in names for each live account...... Sigh....HELP!!

When it says ( User does not allow IM) What does it mean?? I know I'm a bit dense when it comes to computer terminology, but that what this is here for.... To ask you all ..... Thanks in advance to anyone who gets back to me.... Jean....

Try it without looking at the answers......

1) Pick your favourite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add the digits together

Now Scroll down ...............

Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein

2. Nelson Mandela

3. Abraham Lincoln

4. Helen Keller

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. George Clooney

8. Thomas Edison

9. Jean Me......

10. Abraham Lincoln

I know....I just have that effect on people....one day you too can be like me....

P.S. Stop picking different numbers. I am your idol, just deal with it!!!! NOW CHANGE TO YOUR NAME IN NO. 9 AND SEND IT

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them in the laundry

baskets into lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make a mental note to do more sit-ups and leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

have a nice long wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass your partner pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

IT'S GREAT BEING A MAN!!!!

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ?If I died, would you get another dog??

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

I have been watching this since it started, and I really am enjoying it, But I am not sure who I would like to see winning it? Possibly the older chap that starred in Star Treck, many moons ago!!.....I don't know the half of them, and I forget their names...

Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand .

And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'MT. ? (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e I o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that also)

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Now you know more than you did before!!

How's business?

Bleach Firm

Down the toilet

Bra Manufacturer

Going Bust

Chocolatier

In Meltdown

Clock Maker

Wound Up

Forestry Commission

Cutting Branches

Glue Factory

Insolvent

Parachute Supplier

In Freefall

Phone Company

In Receivership

Shipyard

Needs Bailing Out

Whiskey Distillery

On The Rocks