silent_threat

Ok, so I'm a 19 year old guy currently going through a metaphorical hell, and any help whatsoever would be awesome as I'm not getting it anywhere else locally. Bear with me, sorry if this is a bit long, but being desperate for help, I figured someone could empathize and maybe give some pointers.

To paint the picture, I've been depressed since I was 13, suicidal since 15 (with thousands of thoughts of suicide and well over a dozen attempts) and I'm probably the closest to rock-bottom that I've ever been. I'm on meds to help me deal with it day-to-day, but my folks don't have a lot of money and as such I don't know how long I can stay on the meds, and I can't get a job per my shrink and doctor's demands to pay for them myself (due to anxiety, my terribly pessimistic attitude and general inability to cope with the smallest amounts of stress in a work or general public environment.) I don't drink, smoke or do drugs; no girlfriend, and no friends in general (3 of my best recently stabbed me in the back because they disagreed with my moral views and standards and the other one left to travel for 2 years.) My family is pretty much getting torn apart (my parent's marriage due to stress amongst other things) as my younger sister is anorexic and is currently occupying nearly all of their time and my other sibling is on the brink of anorexia but my parents are too stressed or busy or whatever to see it. All in all I'm almost always lonely, angry, hungry (my mother herself has an eating disorder she refuses to see and as such feeds the anorexic ones and herself like queens, but my father and I are essentially left to fend for ourselves.) Normally I'd be ok with that, but if a food comes into the house that she disagrees with (which is basically anything that isn't crazy healthy and nutritious) it is disposed of in some way or another very quickly. All in all, a steaming pile of crap type of life.

In addition, I can't sleep well at all, as my dreams are either incredibly chaotic or nightmarish and downright depressing. Getting to sleep is another tale all together as I'm unable to shut my brain off until sheer exhaustion takes over about 2 or 3 hours after hitting the mattress. I've been averaging 7-8 hours of sleep a night, but it feels like 2 or 3 hours. The only thing keeping me going from day to day is my love and worrying for my father (my mother has been mentally and somewhat physically abusive to me since I was young, as such I've mentally shut her out of the picture entirely and clung to my father who is much more kind hearted and understanding.) She (my mother) is also pushing for me to go back to school (I did graduate with a diploma, but barely) and she simply won't take no for an answer. I have no desire to go back and as such this is a major dilemma I don't know how to handle, for if I say no and have my father intervene, she will raise all sorts of hell intentionally infront of my sisters and blame me and my father for everything. To top things off, moving out and getting out in general is out of the question as my banking account is essentially dry, no thanks to my "friends" and "girlfriend".

To cut things short, the thought of killing myself scares the life out of me, so I've resorted to cutting, which I loath on the highest level, but that and feeding a 6-year long porn addiction (which I'm fighting with all I've got but am still struggling with) are my only ways of escape (ironic as they only drag me down further...) I know this is probably the stereotypical "teenaged depression story" and I'm sorry if that is how some perceive it, but I desperately want to make it through this time of life and resolve these issues now, but currently I am only going downhill. I don't get in to see my shrink again till the 1st of Feb if not later, so until then, does anyone have advice on making it through day-to-day, or just making it day-to-day in general?

Thank-you so much to everyone in advance. :)

So the gist is, I've only ever used Apple handheld products (from the Classic now to the 4S), and I am sick and tired of being locked down in what I can and can't do on my 4S, however I'm hesitant to switch to an Android as I've heard some grand and some terrible tales about Android devices in general.

So, being the tech-heavy person I am, would switching to the Galaxy S3 or Note 2 offer a somewhat same experience as if I had a jailbroken iPhone, or would it be greater or lesser than having a jailbroken iPhone? And if one chose Android over iOS, any phone model recommendations (or suggestions towards the S3 and Note 2?) Thanks in advance!

a. states

b. mol ratios

c. temperatures

d. all products and reactants

Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

Processor: Intel Pentium 4 @ 3.0 Ghz

RAM: 1.4 GB

Video Card: 1GB Geforce 9500GT

I also have a DVD drive, sound card, and 80GB HDD, so I'm not worried about those. However, can I play (and if possible, record) without any major frame-dropping issues? Thanks.