stardustworld

I'll make this short...

I live on the Westside of L.A. in temporary housing. Been here for 10 months, landlords told me they wanted people 6-12 months. They seem willing to cut me some slack on my time period with them, but I feel pressured to move on. I have to share a room, a bathroom with 3 other girls, have no privacy, no place to go write, and feel very unsettled. I'm 33 and want to live like an adult - not a college freshman in a dorm. The rent is $550/month and it's close to work. I drive 60 miles/day as a pet-sitter on the Westside and my gas cost is nearly $300/month.

I want to move to Calabasas and have an opportunity. I love it there, it's a perfect fit for me. However, I'll be driving about 110 miles/day and add approximately $200/month to my fuel cost. The commute will stretch my time and budget, but I'll have my own room and will be settled long-term so that I can move on with my life. I think I can make this work, but I won't have much money left over at the end of the month. On the Westside, I can't find anything for less than $900/month and it's usually a pretty crappy or outdated place. I much prefer Calabasas.

Should I stay or go? Is it worth it to move? I don't plan on pet-sitting as a career, it's just what I'm doing now until I land an industry job (have some good connections). Once I stay put in once place all day, the commute is no big deal.

I'm living in a house for women who are new to the city and need a place to stay until they get settled. The house is owned by a family and they rent half the house to the women, including two bedrooms, each with two people sharing. Essentially, I'm living in a dorm-like situation.

Everything was fine until my new roommate moved into the room a few days ago. She doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom, she has a body odor, her stuff stinks up the room. I have to keep the window open to keep the stench bearable. Our room smells like sweaty armpit. I have yet to see her take a shower. She also wears run-down clothes, which don't look so clean either.

On top of that, she works at Starbucks and has to get up at 3am some mornings. I'm fine with that, but she snoozes her alarm 4 times and then doesn't try to be quiet when getting dressed. I haven't had a full night's sleep since she moved in because it takes me forever to go back to sleep after she gets up. She's really nice and is surprisingly considerate about some things, but this is driving me nuts and I don't know how to handle it. Should I approach the owners about it and see if they can do anything, or should I confront her about it, or just grin and bear it? This place started out to be a nice place to stay and now I just want to get out.

I'm planning a move to Los Angeles and have a decent amount of money saved, good credit, and a good reference. However, I will be moving without a job because the industry I want to work in will not even consider hiring you if you aren't a Los Angeles local already. My unemployment is the problem on my rental application and the landlord sent me a guarantee form for a parent to fill out, making them legally responsible to pay any damages or debts owed if I don't come through. I'm 32 years old, and I don't want to involve my parents in this at all. I don't exactly know when I'll get a job out there, but I would do everything I could to keep someone else from having to bail me out. I'm not a 19 year old college kid.

She's already asking for first, last and a deposit...I'm hesitant to offer more money up front because I'm already paying quite a bit to begin with. This is a private home that is having repairs done to it at the moment. The landlord doesn't even have a refrigerator or a stove yet. She's discounting the first month's rent because of this, but it's still a good chunk of my savings. What should I do? Move on and look for another place or swallow my pride? At 32, I want to stand on my own two feet and not have to rely on my parents. Not to mention, I don't want them legally bound financially to something that's my responsibility.

We have a family beagle who is 10 years old. My parents have now decided to keep her behind a gate in the back entry way when no one's home, and at night. She's used to having freedom to roam around in the house, and doesn't like being penned up (what dog does). The reason for this change is because last night she peed on our living room rug, and she's peed on the rug in our music room a couple of times in the past as well. They're afraid that she'll do it again, and my mom is very protective of her rugs. In the 10 years we've had our dog, she's peed maybe 3-4 times in the house, and all of them I could chalk up to someone not making her go out at night before they went to bed. She usually goes out a few times a night anyway just to sniff around the backyard, even if she doesn't have to pee. Often the last person up doesn't go to bed until 11pm or so, and I think it's their responsibility to make the dog go out one last time.

Anyway, the parents are blaming the dog for the accidents, and I think it's unfair to the dog to keep her confined for something that wasn't her fault. If she had a medical condition, or had problems holding it, then it's logical that she would have had accidents on a far more regular basis. The area they want to keep her in is about 3x6, has her bed and her water/food bowls, a mat, and a door with windows. I know it's not a tiny crate, but I still feel that it's unfair to keep an animal in a confined space for long periods of time. She would be behind the gate maybe five days a week for 8-9 hours, be let out when we got home and have maybe 4-5 hours of freedom, then be put behind the gate again for the night.

Our backyard is huge, so she has plenty of space to run around out there, and I try to play fetch with her a few times a week. I'm the only one in the family she's really close to, so I feel a natural obligation to watch out for her well-being. I had a good argument with my dad tonight, and of course it's his house, his rules. But I don't agree with him, and I think they're over-reacting. It seems to me that they care more about a rug than a living creature, and that's messed up in my book. I'll buy them another f-cking rug if it'll keep them happy.

I've got a Seasonique prescription, but afraid to take it due to side effects, etc. I've talked to my doctor and know that side effects are rare, but I have a hang up about altering my entire body chemistry. Just seems unnatural, and I'm not sure what the long term affect would be. The reason I wanted it was to knock out some of my periods, reduce my PMS, and be protected just in case I ever got seriously involved with someone. My monthly cycles are regular and not terrible to deal with, but I do get quite fatigued and nauseous around that time of the month...hate it. I'm reluctant to have a relationship with any guy because any fooling around could lead to pregnancy. I know I could wait until I'm involved to get on BC, but that wouldn't be the sole reason to get on it in the first place. Just don't know what to do.

I've been planning to move from the mid-south to Los Angeles for years now, and the time is approaching for me to make a commitment. My goal is to work as a writer/producer in Hollywood, and I have an internship at a major Hollywood production company on my resume - as well as some contacts I made through that job. Currently I work for a company that I could potentially transfer with to L.A., but no guarantee that I could transfer in my current position. I have my calendar marked to move in January, and could have about 3 months of living expenses saved by then. The last thing I want to do is move to L.A. and start out on this new journey in my life, and have to work at the same company I'm with now - which is not a terrible job, but I really want out. It has nothing to do with what I want to do, and I'm not happy.

I know the sensible thing to do is transfer with my company (if I can get a good position out there), that way I'll still have money coming in while I look for another job. However, a huge part of me wants to kick my job to the curb and risk living on my savings while (hopefully) one of my contacts can help me out and find a job in the industry I want. The thing is - I'm not a young kid anymore. I'm 31, and it's past time for me to actually be using my talents to do what I want in life. I'm sick of waiting. I feel like it's time to just go for it and pour all of my time and energy into this thing that I want to do instead of wasting my life in a job that I don't really like. Really lost on what to do. I know what I WANT to do, but I don't know if it's the right thing.

Two days ago I made a salad with raw spinach, peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and cooked mushrooms. Today, I noticed that the broccoli and cauliflower were starting to turn brown. I picked those out of the salad and ate the rest, but I was hoping to eat on this salad for a week or so. The mushrooms still smell and taste fine. Am I out of luck? Will this salad only be good a day or two if I make it again? I'm trying to do the salad everyday thing, but it seems like a waste of time/money to have to buy new ingredients every couple of days.

We have two cats (sisters) who are about 13 years old now. Had them since they were kittens. They're both indoor cats and never have been outside. Things were fine until we got a Beagle about 9 years ago. Until then, they'd had free run of the entire house and their litter boxes were downstairs. Once we got the dog, they were confined to the upstairs level and the dog stays downstairs. Beagles are hunters by nature, so she just chases the cats if they wander downstairs. The litter boxes are now upstairs.

After we got the dog, one of the cats started peeing on rugs or in the bathtub. She's the playful, outgoing one, but she gets scared easily of other people. The peeing has steadily progressed over the years from rugs to now beds and tonight she peed on a nice office chair, which is now ruined. My Mom keeps all of the doors upstairs closed except to one bedroom (where the chair was) and I keep my door open because otherwise they'd have no where else to go other than the hall and that room. She's peed in my room, but I'm much more of an animal lover and tolerant than my Mom. My Mom was in tears tonight because the cat keeps ruining things in the house, and she's had it.

Here's the kicker - my Dad is a vet and he's taken the cat to his clinic to check for a UTI, which she's had a couple of times. He treated it and she seemed to make a recovery, but I don't know if he ever did a follow-up to the last treatment. I've got to talk to him about that, but I'm half worried that if the cat leaves this house, she won't ever come back. My Dad has no idea how to put an end to the peeing, and we have two litter boxes that are cleaned daily.

I've read online that disciplining cats doesn't work, and that confining their space can actually cause more stress. Their favorite place in the whole house to hang out used to be my parent's bedroom, but my Mom kicked them out of there because she's slightly allergic and the cat hair everywhere was bothering her. So they lost the downstairs, then that room, and now practically the entire house is off limits except for two rooms. Tonight may have been the last straw for my Mom, and I understand where she's coming from. But she doesn't really care a whole lot what happens to this cat just as long as she gets rid of the problem. I have a bond with the cat and would hate to lose her in any way. I personally think it's cruel to take a cat away from the only home it's ever known. I have no idea what my Dad would do with the cat - let it live at the clinic, give it away, or worse...put it down. I'm scared for her, and I really think that it's the dog that started it all, and shutting them out of the rooms in the house is stressing them out more. It's not their fault that they lost their territory. We never anticipated this happening with the dog - the dog was supposed to be my brother's that he took with him when he moved out, but he changed his mind and left her with the folks. I don't mind because I have a very strong bond with the dog as well. Wish the dog and cats would just get along, but that's not going to happen.

What can I do about this?

I'm a tomboy - an adult - but still quite sporty. Everyday I carry around a messenger bag slung across my shoulder/body. It's comfortable, I can leave it on whenever I'm walking around and barely notice it, and it's big enough to put anything into it - though I really only carry around 4 or 5 things. Sometimes I'll stuff my computer into it. Anyway, when I need to wear dresses, this bag is too casual, unfortunately. I hate purses, especially ones with short straps that I have to carry with my hand. I like to keep my hands free. The ones that just slip over your shoulder feel weird to me and I'm uncomfortable with them. I suppose that a little clutch purse would be best, but that's just another thing I have to carry around and try to keep up with. Anyone have a suggestion about what direction I should go in?

I'd like to get into a morning exercise routine, but I'm concerned about the days during my period. The first 3 days or so, I wake up and I'm a little messy down there after a night's sleep. It feels gross to go to the gym without showering/cleaning up. Normally, I'd just get dressed and go, but on those days it's not so easy. Should I just shower before going on those days or handle it a different way? I take 2 showers everyday - morning and night. Adding a third seems a little overkill, but maybe not for just a few days out of the month.

I started to take birth control for the first time on the first day of my regular period. Took it for three days only and then stopped. I decided not to take it anymore. My periods are always regular and last about 5 days. It's now day 8 and the bleeding is still going on. It's not very heavy, but it's a regular flow - more than spotting. I've NEVER had bleeding last this long, and I have a history of being anemic. I'm really scared that if the bleeding doesn't stop, I'm going to get sick from anemia. I have visions of having to go to the emergency room for a blood transfusion. I'll probably call my doctor, but wondering if anyone else has had this experience?

My doctor prescribed Seasonique for me two or three months ago, but I've been a chicken to take it. The only thing I'm truly concerned about is the side effect of nausea/vomiting. When I asked my doctor about it, she played it down and said that nausea isn't really an issue anymore with the modern advances in birth control pills. However, while researching it, I've found many complaints about nausea being a side effect. I suppose I shouldn't let something like that prevent me from taking the pill, but I'm concerned how I'll handle nausea or vomiting if they do strike - especially at work. I train people how to use computers all day in a retail environment, and they come in at scheduled appointment times. I have to spend an hour conversing with them, and if I'm sick to my stomach, that's going to make my job very unpleasant. In fact, I get nauseous before my period every month, and last week I had to go home from work because it was so bad. I have a feeling that if I get nauseous from natural monthly hormones, BC will affect me the same way. Other than the work thing, I'm terribly afraid of vomiting, so it's my worst nightmare to picture myself hunched over a toilet and puking because of a pill.

I'm looking to save some money so that I can move across the country in a couple of months. My current job pays okay, and it has decent hours. I owe my parents about $1100 and can easily pay them that within a month. But that means I'll have barely enough money saved for a month's worth of expenses at my new place - not including any moving expenses. I do have credit cards I can use to help, but they currently have $0 balances and I don't have any debt. I'd like it to stay that way.

My free time is important, but sometimes I feel like I could be doing more to earn more money. I can maybe sell some things to help out. One of my co-workers told me not to take the pizza job because it probably wouldn't be worth it. He used to do it and said it was cool when he was 20, but not now. I'm 30 and would feel slightly humiliated delivering pizzas. I just don't want to miss out on a lot of extra money. Anyway, I already told the pizza place I'd take the job and I'm supposed to start tonight, but I'm thinking about backing out before I get started. Any advice?

I'm 30, have a musical background, but only in the last year have I become inspired to possibly pursue music, as in joining a band or starting one. I've got a guitar, a drum set, and a piano. I can play a little bit of each instrument but I've never really buckled down to try and master them.

I'm a fast learner though - I learned to play "Blackbird" on guitar in one day. It's not perfectly smooth yet, but I can play it. I can play a basic drum beat and I'm teaching myself "Rain" by the Beatles on the drums right now. I don't know if I'm crazy, but I've got the urge to play with a group and possibly write our own songs and see where it takes us. If only I was ten years younger it would be easier. But I have no one but myself to worry about, I can put in the time to practice and get better, but I don't know if anyone will want to play with someone still learning. Plus, most people who start a music career are a few years younger than me (though I still look 21).

I've got an okay job now - enough to pay the bills - and I'm also thinking about moving to Hollywood to work out there (I've interned there already and made some contacts). Thing is, when I'm chilling at home, I'd much rather practice drums for three hours than do much of anything to further a career in Hollywood. Surprisingly, music is what I prefer to spend my time on rather than writing scripts, etc. I just feel like this is almost out of left field, yet it's what I seem to be the most passionate about.

I'm 30, have a musical background, but only in the last year have I become inspired to possibly pursue music, as in joining a band or starting one. I've got a guitar, a drum set, and a piano. I can play a little bit of each instrument but I've never really buckled down to try and master them.

I'm a fast learner though - I learned to play "Blackbird" on guitar in one day. It's not perfectly smooth yet, but I can play it. I can play a basic drum beat and I'm teaching myself "Rain" by the Beatles on the drums right now. I don't know if I'm crazy, but I've got the urge to play with a group and possibly write our own songs and see where it takes us. If only I was ten years younger it would be easier. But I have no one but myself to worry about, I can put in the time to practice and get better, but I don't know if anyone will want to play with someone still learning. Plus, most people who start a music career are a few years younger than me (though I still look 21).

I've got an okay job now - enough to pay the bills - and I'm also thinking about moving to Hollywood to work out there (I've interned tgere already and made some contacts). Thing is, when I'm chilling at home, I'd much rather practice drums for three hours than do much of anything to further a career in Hollywood. Surprisingly, music is what I prefer to spend my time on rather than writing scripts, etc. I just feel like this is almost out of left field, yet it's what I seem to be the most passionate about.

I've got a B.A. in Communication, and currently work in retail for a decent hourly wage - but I make less than $25,000 a year. For someone who spent time and money on a degree, that's a pathetic wage. I got my degree so that I wouldn't have to work at a job like my current one, and I would really like to improve my income situation.

The problem is that I feel torn between two job paths. A local Managing Editor job has opened up at a large church. It probably doesn't pay as well as the same job for another company, simply because it is a non-profit organization. Still, it has to be more than I'm making now, it has to do with my degree, and it will get me out of retail. I think I have a good shot at getting it since I interned there a year ago and the Managing Editor was my boss. Everyone liked me and I got a good recommendation from the director there.

The second job is one that is not feasible at this moment due to financial restrictions. I've been wanting to move to Los Angeles and get a job in Hollywood. Again, I interned at the Jim Henson Company out there a couple of years ago, and one of my fellow interns is now working there. He's willing to bring me on if possible, but I have to be living there first. The move will take a few months to save for.

So, I'd really like to go for the editor job because it's available now, and I could save more in a shorter amount of time. However, I'm a little wary of going for a job that I might leave in a few months time. Having worked there before, I've already got ideas on how to change or improve some things, and I think it could be exciting having a real job for once. I just don't want to hurt my chances of working in Hollywood.

Though I'm sick of my retail job, I do work for one of the top companies in the world, have good medical insurance, and get paid twice the minimum wage. But it's not fulfilling and my unhappiness is starting to affect my performance at work. Should I stick with it for a few more months, save the money and move to L.A., or do I go for the editing job, save more money faster, enjoy my work more, and move to L.A. (assuming I would still want to do that)? I have a feeling that the editing job would better prepare me to work in Hollywood. I'd have a lot more responsibility, it's more business and creative oriented, and it would be challenging. I may love it so much that I don't want to leave, but I'm afraid that if I don't give Hollywood a shot, I'll be asking myself "what if" for the rest of my life.

I'm an embarrassing 30 years old, still living with my parents. I've got a sweet deal living at home - no rent, I get along with the folks, and I make enough money to probably live on my own with a roommate. But it's a job in retail, and for someone with a college degree, I feel that I should be making more money. I definitely have an income problem.

The problem is that I look around and see that just about everyone my age (and younger) live on their own and are pursuing their chosen field as a career. I want to do something in entertainment/writing, but that's a very difficult field to establish yourself in. I've done an internship at a Hollywood studio, so it's not like I don't have any experience. Right now life is stagnant for me. I'm not able to save any money for another month or two because I'm paying my parents back for $2500 worth of car repairs.

A friend of mine is on his way to L.A. to start a new job and he doesn't have a roommate yet. He's offered to let me share a place with him, but I have $0 to make a move. My thoughts were to possibly apply for a personal loan and hope to find some work when I get out there. I'm just sick of working at a dead-end job, not doing what I want to do, and my social life is nill because I hate having to tell people that I still live at home like I'm in high school. It's embarrassing. Yet, I'm afraid of leaving as well. It's like my identity is tied to my parents and being at home, and I'm afraid to step out of that box and become my own person. I guess I'm afraid of social commitments for some reason. Yet, I want to get out there and establish myself as somebody.

Anyway, I can save the cash to move, but it will be another 3-4 months, and this entire thing is really starting to bother me. I used to get panic attacks quite badly before I move out to L.A. for my internship - and then they went away. I guess because I was actually doing something I could be proud of. Now the anxiety is starting to return and I can't help but think it's because I feel stuck where I am and I need to do something that my family and I can be proud of again. Right now I feel inadequate and like a loser.

I've been waiting for the better part of a year to see my doctor about the possibility of birth control. I hate periods, and would rather not feel nauseous or have bad enough fatigue that I have to call into work occasionally during PMS. The fatigue knocks me out a few days a month. I can force myself to keep going most of the time, but I feel like I have the flu and just want to stay in bed and sleep for three days straight. I've also got anemia, but take iron supplements. Other than that, I have normal, regular periods that are over in 5 days and I'm good for another couple of weeks before PMS sets in again.

Here's what I don't like about birth control:

1. Side effects - I know that some people get them and some don't. I won't know until I try. I'm phobic of nausea and vomiting, and I hear that's a common side effect. It's bad enough I have to feel queazy a day or two during PMS, but I don't want to put up with it for the first month or two on BC.

2. Increased risk for all that other stuff - I won't have an increased risk if I don't take it. Being a bit of a hypochondriac, I'd probably be constantly worrying about how BC was affecting my long-term health. Cancer, blood clots, etc...I know they're rare and maybe unlikely to happen, but I could avoid it altogether by not taking BC.

3. It seems unnatural - I don't have anything against BC. But if it can cause side effects, you so-called "period" isn't really a period, and you can have withdrawal bleeding while on it, it's obvious that your body's rebelling against the added hormones. Something's not natural about that, and it just doesn't feel right to me messing with your natural hormonal balance. This thought surprised me because until I had the pills in my hand today, I hadn't even cared about it. But I'm in relatively good health and I'm leery of messing with my body.

4. Might make boobs bigger - I have small boobs and want to keep it that way. Big boobs would just get in my way, and I like the slender look of small boobs. They go well with my 112 lbs. body. I don't want them to get bigger, which may seem abnormal coming from a woman, but it's how I feel.

5. Pregnancy - I'm not sexually active, so taking the pills would only be to stop my periods (eventually) and prevent bad PMS symptoms. In the future I may be sexually active, but I'm not concerned with it now.

So, with that said, I don't know if the benefits of taking BC outweigh the risks for my particular situation. Yeah, it would be nice to have only 4 "periods" a year with Seasonique (I don't even know why I should have them at all if I'm on BC), but I don't know if I'm willing to put up with potential side effects just to make my life a little more convenient. Any thoughts?

For years I've had short hair, and in the back of my mind I've always wondered if having longer hair would change my image for the better. I've had a ton of people tell me that I look great in short hair, but every time I go in for a cut, I'm always second-guessing whether I should cut it. I tried to grow it out recently, but after a few weeks of dealing with the length, I had an irresistible urge to cut it short again.

I've always been a bit of a tomboy, even though I'm in my late twenties, though I certainly don't want to come off looking like a boy. I do want to look like a girl, and sometimes I think that guys treat me more like one of them because of my hair and the fact that I don't wear all of the girly stuff. I don't really have a problem being treated like one of the guys - I enjoy hanging out with them - but I can't help feel that I would be respected more and taken more seriously if I had longer hair. There's something about that womanly image of long hair and pretty clothes that seems to hold some power in it. It commands a grown-up respect that I feel I sometimes can't get with shorter hair. Though, I feel that shorter hair is sorta "me." It seems like the more dainty and womanly I try to be, I feel less confident. It's like I'm holding back by trying to be more lady-like. I want that grown-up, powerful image, but it's nice having shorter hair sometimes too.

I also want to work in the entertainment industry, and possibly go back to Hollywood to live and work full-time. I wonder if I would have more "pull" (no not like that - I know what some of you might be thinking) or be more successful if I had a more classic, traditional, womanly image?

What do you guys think? My hair appointment is coming up in a couple of days and I don't know if I should grow it out or keep it short. Here are some pics to help you out:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=-3&id=749041...

I'm going to be taking a 3 day car trip across part of the country during the days leading up to my period - in other words, during my typical PMS time. Usually, I will have one or two days of nausea during PMS. Last month, I tried taking motion sickness pills for the first time to quell it, and they seemed to help quite a bit. However, one day I was nauseous enough that even the pill could not guard against me feeling bad enough that I couldn't get in the car. While I've never actually thrown up during PMS, I have come close when being in a moving vehicle.

Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, do you have any suggestions I can use while being on the road? Thanks.