Uderfrykte

Hello. I'm trying to get into the Acanthochronology field. It's kind of new so there doesn't seem to be a lot of people around to advise me. On the plus side, low competition means that I'm unlikely to be scooped. Right now, I'm trying to learn about how cactus needles protect cacti. I've been experimenting by hugging different cacti and looking at the results. Unfortunately, I have a limited budget, and I'm having trouble hugging them without getting hurt. I tried wearing multiple sweaters (like 10), but that didn't work as well as I was expecting. Leather doesn't seem to help either. I looked into making an outfit out of metal, but I want the needles to stick to the outfit, and they won't stick to metal. Also, I can't afford metal. 

After awhile it started to feel like I was going about this whole cactus hugging thing the wrong way. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. So maybe you guys can help me. What's considered the best practice way to hug a cactus?

Hi. I'm trying to get into Acanthochronology. In particular, I'm interested in seeing how cactus needles protect different kinds of cacti. To experiment, I'm running around hugging cacti and seeing what happens. I have a protective vest to keep me from making a mess, but every once in awhile a needle gets through. I can't really afford to keep buying new vests. Is there insurance that will cover me for cactus related injuries? I really don't want operation cactus love to bleed me dry, so to speak.

After many problems caused by my inability to tune in to my girlfriend's feelings, my girlfriend decided to make things easy for me. Every day, she dyes her hair a different color. The color corresponds to how she's feeling that day. Blue means she's sad, yellow means she's happy, green means she's sick and red means I screwed up again. There are a lot of other colors too, that's just to give you an example. Anyway, shortly before a business trip, she dyed her hair blue because she was sad that she was leaving me. When she got back, her hair was still blue but it has some yellow in it too, and its kind of faded. What does this mean? I don't want to ask her because then she'll be irritated that I have to explain and she'll paint it red again.

On second thought....she does look kind of hot in red. Is there any way I can get her to dyeit red more often without making her angry?

I was reviewing our wedding tape, and I was horrified to discover that my hubby had his fingers crossed behind his back when he said I do. This was years ago. We are both religious and still together. Did this invalidate our marriage? Have we been living in sin? Maybe we have to get married again?

I saw part of a made for tv movie on PBS many years ago. It was a variation of Christmas Carol, except that it took place in a courtroom, and I think Marley was the prosecuting lawyer. I also recall the floor and walls were at least partially made of glass, and you could see the sky outside. I think the court was in Heaven or something. Any ideas? Thank you for your help.

I bought a polypropylene long sword for sword fighting classes. To be clear, its not sharp and can't cut anything. Anyway, I want to give it some funny possibly punny Latin name. Any ideas?

Right now, I'm thinking Misericordiam and Caveat Emptor.

I've been trying to make myself more attractive. Do you think I look hot? I've been trying really hard. Which picture do you like the best? Its for online dating.

https://donnafleischer.files.wordpress.com/2013/11...

http://hemisphericinstitute.org/hemi/media/k2/item...

https://travsd.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/4050090...

http://www.outinperth.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/...

So I've tried online dating, and its just too difficult. I'm not comfortable with lying, or emotionally manipulating women, so I've decided to forget online dating and try a new strategy.

I know women like guys that are clearly financially well off or stable, have good social skills, are clever, confident, funny, and responsible. So all I have to do is illustrate all of those values all at once.

So here's my plan. The next time I see a beautiful woman on the road, I'm going to pull into the lane behind her and ram her car. I'll hit her just lightly enough that it causes damage to both cars, but not enough that she could be hurt. We'll park our cars, get out to talk, and then I'll make my move.

I'll have a full medical kit that I know how to use with me in case she's hurt, because I actually do care about other people, and showing that I have this kit expresses that. She'll see me as confident because I'm hitting on her after a car accident I caused. Since I'm not too concerned about the damage, it should be obvious to her that I can afford whatever the financial consequences are. I'll almost certainly get a phone number out of it, and I'll even get her insurance information. How many guys can get insurance information and a phone number out of a woman upon first meeting her? And I certainly won't be forgettable.

My one problem is that I need a car that looks really expensive but is cheap to repair. Any suggestions?

I just got this brand new car last week, a 2016 Honda Civic. I read that it gets a gas mileage of 27 miles to the gallon, so I was really excited. I then went on this really long trip to see my grandma who is about 300 miles away. The mile meter said in the beginning of the trip that I had more than enough gas to cover the trip. However, near the end of the trip, I ran out. I thought this was really strange so I looked at the gas mileage meter and it said I was getting 25 miles to the gallon. I'm really confused about this. Where did the missing miles go?

I know its early, but I'm starting to plan our annual Christmas concert. Each year, a whole bunch of us get together and sing Christmas carols for fundraising. This year, we're planning on singing Alvin and the Chipmunks, "Don't be Late" To make it realistic though, all of the singers are going to breathe a lot of helium ahead of time.

Unfortunately, our operating budget is kind of small. Where can I get enough helium cheaply that I can have 12 grown men singing all chipmunky for 2:30?

I really love Will Smith and I watch all of his movies. I'm going to have a movie party soon and all my friends and I are going to get together to watch one. But I can't decide which movie we should watch. Of this list of movies (the Will Smith movies I own) which one is your favorite?

The options are:

Annie (2014)

Do the Right Thing (1989)

Blackout (2007)

Where the Day Takes You (1992)

Dead Man Out (1989)

My boyfriend and I just finished having a fight and he's really sorry now. To make up for it, he's coming over to watch a couple romance movies with me! He's bringing over The Loved Ones and Valentine's Day. I've never watched them, but he says they're super romantic so I'm really excited.

Anyway, I want to make a really special dinner for my guy that'll go along with the movies. Without telling me what they're about, could you give me some ideas for an appropriate The Loved Ones and Valentine's Day themed meal?

Thanks a lot! :D

So my friend briefly introduced me to a cute girl who works at a hair salon. She seemed nice, but left before I could get a phone number. I want to schedule an appointment with her so I can see her again, but unfortunately I am completely bald. She doesn't know this because I was wearing a bandana. If I let her trim a wig, will she be able to tell that its not real?

So I know with all the pollution coming from factories, that good air is starting to get scarce. So I've started bottling the stuff. I figure it'll be worth a lot in twenty years. How much will one person need to live out my life comfortably?

I was complaining to a friend recently about how the local gas station was too expensive. She responded with "Yeah, and they just fill your car with water anyway." This caused me to realize that I was missing out on a great savings opportunity. So I hooked up my garden hose to the car, and pumped in some water. But no matter how much water I pump, the car doesn't start. How much water does it take to get this thing moving? This car is supposed to be fuel afficient, so it shouldn't take that much.

My lovely girlfriend is coming over today for the first time. We're having a turkey dinner. I put it in the oven ~40 minutes ago. Unfortunately, she just texted me a little while ago to let me know she was going to be late, and reminded me how excited she was to prepare the turkey for me with her family's recipe..... Opps. Is there a way to uncook this turkey so she can handle it? I don't want her to realize I forgot and think I'm stupid again.

I like to collect license plates. When I was parking my junky car in the garage the license plate fell off. Now I can't tell which plate is mine? How can I tell?

Every year its the same. Mr. Richy Rich gets hundreds of presents, while I only get 3. Why does Santa deliver more presents to the rich kids? Doesn't he love us too?

Oh, and one of those kids just recently got a tattoo without telling his parents. Doesn't that make him naughty?

First of all, I have no intention of ever harming any cats, however while talking to a friend of mine he randomly told me, "There's more than one way to skin a cat." I don't know why he said that. I just nodded in a agreement to try to not look silly. But it got me thinking... If there is more than one way to skin a cat - WITHOUT getting into graphic details - how is there more than one way? What would be the best way? And should I be concerned that my friend thinks about these sorts of things?

Recently, I went hiking along the border between Colorado and Kansas. It was my first time going to a state border, so I was really excited. Unfortunately, my experience was ruined by some vandals. The black line that divides the two states is missing! My map says it should have been right there, but it wasn't. I'm guessing some teenagers must have vandalized it. I know I should tell a police officer about this, but I'm not sure who is responsible for it. Should I tell a Colorado officer or a Kansas officer? Or does it not really matter who I tell?