Penelope Sanchej

My boyfriend broke up with me last Friday. He said he never felt the "fireworks" and "lightning" in our relationship. We dated for about 4 months and he says he continued all this time because of my excellent qualities (including the fact that he feels I will be a good mom). He said I am the best person he has ever known but doesn't think we are sexually compatible. We are compatible in every other way, have great conversations and his entire family loved me in the few meetings we had.

We had planned a trip to Miami for the coming weekend and are still going as friends. I want to spark the fire (without him knowing) so he would want to get back together. What can I do?

P.S. I feel the reason he doesn't feel as much passion is my not-so-perfect figure. I am a size 6 and am not really overweight. But I have some belly fat. (It's not that he has the perfect body. He is actually too skinny.) I know I have the ability to turn heads with a little effort and will dress up very well during the trip, but I want to light some "fire" with my actions and words. Pleeeeeeease advice me. I am 24, he is 31.

My boyfriend broke up with me last Friday. He said he never felt the "fireworks" and "lightning" in our relationship. We dated for about 4 months and he says he continued all this time because of my excellent qualities (including the fact that he feels I will be a good mom). He said I am the best person he has ever known but doesn't think we are sexually compatible. We are compatible in every other way, have great conversations and his entire family loved me in the few meetings we had.

We had planned a trip to Miami for the coming weekend and are still going as friends. I want to spark the fire (without him knowing) so he would want to get back together. What can I do?

P.S. I feel the reason he doesn't feel as much passion is my not-so-perfect figure. I am a size 6 and am not really overweight. But I have some belly fat. (It's not that he has the perfect body. He is actually too skinny.) I know I have the ability to turn heads with a little effort and will dress up very well during the trip, but I want to light some "fire" with my actions and words. Pleeeeeeease advice me. I am 24, he is 31.

I am going for a day long boat trip with my boyfriend, his dad and his girlfriend. I don't know what to wear. I have only met them once. I am not sure if wearing a bikini would be considered improper. I don't know what his dad's girlfriend (~55yrs old) will be wearing. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 31. What do I do?

I started dating this guy about a month ago though we have been hanging out for last 3-4 months, during which he met a lot of my friends. Today we were talking about my roommate, who is in a long distance relationship. And he said may be I should invite her for our next date night. I don't know why he wants my roommate to join us on a date. Could he be thinking of getting her in bed too?

The last guy I dated had mentioned the idea of threesome when we started dating and though he didn't say anything, I was sure his intentions included my roommate. She is a big flirt and used to make me very uncomfortable whenever she met my last boyfriend. I don't want the same thing to be repeated; so I had been keeping her away from this guy since we started dating. But I am not sure why he wanted me to ask her.

I went out with this guy about 3 months ago on one date but nothing really came out of it. We hung out a couple of times after that with some other friends and it wasn't clear what he thought. About 2 weeks back, we went for dinner (just the two of us) and I asked him to explain his behavior. Then he said he liked me and we decided to be "more than friends" and see how it goes. I told him that I am ok with not giving it a name but that it has to be exclusive.

Yesterday he asked me where it was going (I am very straight forward and had told him earlier that I am perfectly fine with not having this discussion and just enjoying each other's company). He said that he thought I was getting serious and may be thinking of long term and he wasn't ready for that. He said that when I kissed him, he felt there was "something more" to it. I was taken aback because I wasn't thinking of anything long term at all and was just living in the moment. After I made myself clear, he apologized a lot and kept saying that he wants to keep seeing me and that he hoped I would not end it because of his stupid misunderstanding.

I am now too confused about it and don't know what I should do to not give him any ideas that aren't even in my head.

I went out on a date with this one guy who I knew from common classes (in college). I found him interesting but I felt he wasn't interested in asking me out again. I texted him a couple of times and he always responded and kept the conversation going, signalling that he liked me. Then I invited him to join some of my friends to a club and he came, flirted with me a lot, but ended up getting drunk and threw up outside the club. He apologized for that a lot next day and even afterwards. Then I told him about my plans for the next week (which was full of events) and asked if he wanted to join. He replied after 2 days and was interested to join the party. And even though I was kind of angry, I said he could come. This time he was being very nice & caring and trying to get romantic, but I decided to let him know that he can't take me for granted and can come and go anytime he liked. He was nice to me all the time but I felt he is probably considering me as just an option. He said he was going to another party the next day where he would have to meet someone with who he had a history and things could get awkward, etc.

It seems weird that he acts that he likes me whenever we meet but doesn't make any move. I am 25, he is 32. Could he just be a player?

I told this one guy I met a few weeks ago during a conference that I really liked him, but didn't ask for any answer. So, he just replied that he liked hanging out with me too. I thought the matter was closed as we met in a different city and I thought I will never see him again. So, I got over it. But he is coming to my city in a few days and it seems like the reason is to visit me. I wonder if he is expecting "something" and I should stay on my guard or if he just wants to visit as a friend. I think I still like him but I don't want him to take me for granted.

He will be here for 2 days and we will probably hang out the entire time as he wants me to show him my city. (I am 25, he is 30. So, we are mature adults and can pretend that nothing happened and we are just meeting as professional friends).

I told this one guy I met a few weeks ago during a conference that I really liked him, but didn't ask for any answer. So, he just replied that he liked hanging out with me too. I thought the matter was closed as we met in a different city and I thought I will never see him again. So, I got over it. But he is coming to my city in a few days and it seems like the reason is to visit me. I wonder if he is expecting "something" and I should stay on my guard or if he just wants to visit as a friend. I think I still like him but I don't want him to take me for granted.

He will be here for 2 days and we will probably hang out the entire time as he wants me to show him my city. (I am 25, he is 30. So, we are mature adults and can pretend that nothing happened and we are just meeting as professional friends).

I have been dating him for about 6 weeks. He is very nice to me and very romantic and we meet almost everyday. He usually comes to my place and most of the times we encounter my roommate and one of her female friends as well.

These two girls are more than friends, though I don't know exactly the extent of their intimacy. In the beginning they were extremely flirty with my boyfriend and he was reciprocating as well. One day, we were hanging out a lot of friends and he was sticking to those two only and ignored me for a long time. I didn't like this behavior and told him to stop that. He said he was just having fun and wasn't intentionally ignoring me. And then one day one of the girls got drunk and said some very offensive things to my boyfriend. After that, he stopped being "too friendly" to them and never flirted with them again. Although my roommate still does inappropriate things sometimes.

The problem is he says certain things to me occasionally which are very upsetting. He has mentioned many times that he fantasizes about threesome and I made it perfectly clear that he isn't getting it from me. Last week, my roommate, her friend and another guy cuddled together (this is what they told me. I don't know if it went any further.) When I told my boyfriend about it, he said "I am much happier dating you." When I asked why he said so, he mentioned "That could have been me instead of that guy."

The next day, he said something about my roommate being too flirty and in the beginning and said that he would have asked her to cut that out if it had continued.

Yesterday, he said that one of the two girls may have made him cheat on me if he had not stopped "being nice" to them. I asked how can anyone make you cheat, if you don't want it yourself. He started saying that "No, I will never cheat on you. But they could have tried."

I trust him that he will not cheat on me. I really like him a lot and he likes me too. I know I am much nicer than any of those girls and I really am a catch (I really don't mean to be impolite or arrogant by saying so). And he is smart enough to see that. But I can't help thinking that somewhere in his mind, he is fantasizing about my roommate or her friend because it keeps coming out at regular intervals in some form or the other. What should I do? I have told him a number of times and don't want to sound like a jealous and suspicious girlfriend.

I have known this guy for about 2 months as a classmate and we had been studying together a lot recently. While studying, we talked a lot and shared a lot of things about each other and it became very clear that we both like each other and love spending time together. He mentioned that he would want to "hang out" during the winter break with me and I said it will be nice. But now he is being too shy to ask me out. I tried to break the ice by hinting him about in a text but he didn't reply.

This kind of situation has happened in the past when I asked him to study with me and he didn't reply at that time. But after a week, when I dropped the subject, he brought up the subject himself. It seems he is very shy and needs to take a lot of time. But waiting for so long makes me feel insulted. What can I do to make him ask me out without any further delay?

I had been studying with a classmate of mine who I like a lot. I think he likes me too and this has been becoming clearer when the two of us studied together. But we are both very shy and incapable of expressing our feelings directly. The class we were taking together is coming to an end and I want to keep spending time with this guy until one of us finds the courage to take the first step.

What do I do? What kind of excuses can I find to see him again after the exams?

I am a graduate student in a big university. I am one of the toppers of my class. But I think I give an impression of being too serious. I don't even know a lot of guys in my class. I am shy to approach anyone myself and I appear to be a bit reserved so guys don't always come to me for just talking. Although I do talk to some guys and they are nice to me. But I want to be friends with more people and increase my chances with guys.

I haven't had any date in the two years I have been in grad school. I am a good looking young woman and am sure my physical appearance is not coming in the way of attracting guys. It all has to do with the fact that I appear to be too focused in my studies (and not in a geeky kind of way, rather in a snobbish kind of way).

What to do?

I am a graduate student in a big university. I am one of the toppers of my class. But I think I give an impression of being too serious. I don't even know a lot of guys in my class. I am shy to approach anyone myself and I appear to be a bit reserved so guys don't always come to me for just talking. Although I do talk to some guys and they are nice to me. But I want to be friends with more people and increase my chances with guys.

I haven't had any date in the two years I have been in grad school. I am a good looking young woman and am sure my physical appearance is not coming in the way of attracting guys. It all has to do with the fact that I appear to be too focused in my studies (and not in a geeky kind of way, rather in a snobbish kind of way).

What to do?

I signed a lease last August with two other girls. One of them moved out of the apartment within a month. The other one has been living with her sister (whose name is not on the lease). Also, her husband comes iin the apartment every two or three weeks for 3-4 days and has sometimes even stayed for almost a month. Her sister and her husband, both have the key to the apartment and her sister gets her mail here itself and all her belongings are here only.

Now she is telling me that her parents are also going to come here. Her father will leave in 2-3 weeks but her mother will stay till September. The lease ends onAug 31st. I can't live with a big family for over 6 weeks and also didn't want to stop her parents from moving in. So I decided to quietly move out of the apartment. Then, my roommate threatened me that she will drag me to the court if I move out without paying the rent for the rest of the lease period. I don't get it. Why should I pay half the rent when she, her sister and her parents are living here (even though she says they will stay in her room only, which is impossible). What legal situation am I in under these circumstances. If my roommate does try to sue me for the rest of the rent, do I have a point of saying that her whole family was living there??? Please help.

I signed a lease last august with two other girls. One of them moved out of the apartment within a month. the other one has been living with her sister (whose name is not on the lease). also, her husband keeps coming in the apartment every two or three weeks for 3-4 days and has sometimes even stayed for almost a month. now she is telling me that her parents are also going to come here. her father will leave in 2-3 weeks but her mother will stay till september. the lease ends on aug 31st. i can't live with a big family for over 6 weeks and don't want to stop her parents from moving in. so i decided to quietly move out of the apartment. then, my roommate threatened me that she will drag me to the court if i move out without paying the rent for the rest of the lease period. i don't get it. why should i pay half the rent when she, her sister and her parents are living here (even though she says they will stay in her room only which is very unlikely). what legal situation am i in under these circumstances. if my roommate does try to sue me for the rest of the rent, do i have a point of saying that her whole family was living there??? please help.