Families of athletes can you help?

I have asked questions related to this before. But I really need help remaining patient and supportive.My boyfriend of several years is an athlete. I love him with all my heart. But sometimes it is so hard I just do not know how much I can take. I mean really there is no time for us and I think every relationship needs that. But he has recently taken on more responsibilities with his sport. I have always dealt with his own practices,traveling etc. Now the past couple years I have had to deal with him coaching in his "spare" time. Now this year he has taken on another coaching job and is coaching two teams. Meaning that every night he is not away for his own things he is coaching. Between this, my job and my kids,his kids and our kids we have NO time together. Literally. In fact I have not even seen him in a week. I trust him. That is not the issue. And I love him fully. I do not want to lose him. But at the same time how do you hold on? Continued...

2006-11-04T19:35:42Z

How do you keep being patient? How do you stay strong and supportive???
I am just so confused sometimes!!! I know he is doing something he loves. I just wish sometimes that I could be more of a priority. Last night he was upset with me because I didnt invite him to something that me and the kids are doing next week. But I know during that time he is going to be away. And I just couldnt stand to hear him tell me no again. Not right now. So I didnt even ask him if he would be in town to go. He was upset with me and said I should have invited him. And that I could have at least tried. I asked him if I was wrong this time and he would have come and he said yes. But when I asked him how he would do that he had no answer because truth is he knows he cant. Its that kind of thing. He is probably feeling left out but these are choices he has made. Is there some sort of "families of athletes" support group?

casurfwatcher2006-11-05T03:07:25Z

Favorite Answer

i seriously think you both need to see a family counselor to reorder your priorities. Being supportive does not mean always deferring to your partners wishes... in a relationship, there is give and take on BOTH sides... his failure to balance the relationship with his activities suggest that he is unaware of how this is affecting the whole relationship ... if this is not addressed in a neutral setting (like a counselor) you will soon begin to resent each other, you will resent him for neglecting you and he will resent you for not including him ... YOU also need to be part of his "scheduled" activities and you need to make him understand this ... time is a precious commodity ... in every case, people always say, "i wish i had given my family more attention", never "i wish i had spent more time doing my own thing"