What do you think about my poem?

2007-01-16T11:44:02Z

There are days when someone says something unpleasant to you causing the event to ruin your day.
Laughter is a very powerful tool
This kind of skill can be crafted
Without a person having to go to school
You just lift up my spirits
and the wound is mended.
I can tell you have a good heart
by using your gift wisely
you are very smart
Keep letting your inner joy grow
Who knows what it could bestow?
I think you already know.
There are times when my eyes would come to tears
You came along with your silly self
and it would all disappear
I could stop
but I don't want your heart to drop
I'll save the rest for chapter two

2007-01-16T12:07:54Z

You can use it, but make sure you tell them Rachelle Dorleans wrote it

If you have any contacts, give me a hollar.

LizziFishie2007-01-16T11:51:25Z

Favorite Answer

That was good. But to give constructive criticism, the lines didn't really flow together very well. Try making two sentences that add on to each other then adding on to that subject.

Anonymous2007-01-18T20:58:03Z

This poem is an inspirational piece, very expressive. If someone needed to feel a little relief reading this poem probably would help that person smile.

Ralph2007-01-16T12:18:00Z

It’s nice and uplifting but a bit clunky. You need to study your poetry formats...

flowerpet562007-01-22T09:07:16Z

jars a bit, does not flow well together.....tenses and mood are at war with each other...they scratch and bleed all over.

Carlos G2007-01-23T05:59:32Z

thats a real good poem

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