Hi. My husband and I are having a disagreement. Here is the situation: my mother lives 30 minutes from us. She occasionally treats the children and myself to go places (Six Flags, goes with us Trick or Treating, we go to her house a couple times a month for dinner). My husband has a huge problem with this and says it is "abnormal" and that he feels left out. I sympathize with his feelings, but, this is something that is important to my mom. She is very sentimental, and, she likes having time with the children and I. She considers it special bonding time, and, hopes that when she is no longer here that we will remember these times. MY husband constantly says how it upsets him. So much so that I dread even telling him when I want to do something with my mom. What do you think?
Dovahkiin2007-10-25T11:35:00Z
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Youre a family now and your mother is not accepting this. Of course he should go along. Youre teaching your kids that the husband is supposed to be left out of the fun stuff. What a horrible example. You and your mother should be ashamed for leaving out your husband. Many men dont care about spending time with their families, you got one that WANTS to and your leaving him out. Youre a family, act like one.
Hi Amanda! I don't see how it is wrong. I'd let my husband go see his mom with the kids by themselves, except his mom doesn't want to see ANY of us...I spend some time with my mom and the kids alone and never heard any complaints from my husband. My mom lives in another country. Maybe you can make your husband part of the whole thing although I can see why your mom would want to see just you and the kids. You are her daughter, your kids are her daughter's children, so she might not see your husband as a relevant part of that...Ask your mom if she wouldn't mind your husband coming on those occasions. In no way is it abnormal though. In our case my husband would be happy to take that alone time to go out with his own friends, do a hobby, take a long uninterrupted nap or finish some projects around the house...
Does this happen too often, maybe he just has a problem with the frequency of it. Could you limit it to twice a month maybe??? If your mom takes up every single Saturday then he doesn't get to see any of you on ANY Saturday at all, that would upset me...
mmmmmm, quite interesting , firstly, this is pulling you into 2 directions, no1 you have to please and accept to a certain degree that yr husband is finding it upsetting , question to establish here is the big WHY , no 2 , yr mom likes and enjoys having the children , which is a good thing , Now is it not possible to let yr husband come if there is a reason behind this and he cannot visit or refuses to visit, could you two use this time to be together whilst the children are at your moms, If this is not an option couldnt yr husband use this time at home alone relaxing or taking up a new hobby whilst you and the children are at yr moms, THE REAL QUESTION HERE IS WHY DOES IT UPSET HUSBAND , Only you know the truth behind this, Be honest to yr self and the answer lies right there within your self..... From Raaj aka gary
How would you feel if he took the kids to his moms that lets say lived 30 min. away and treated them places 2 or 3 times a month and he avoided your feelings while he accommodated his mothers feelings to bond and have alone time with her son and grand kids? If you were to write down all the pros and cons from this situation and all the good and bad feelings that all of you have had or will have including your kids and parents maybe you can come to a compromise where everyone wins and don't feel left out, like they gave something up, or lost something they enjoyed.
Put yourself in your husbands shoes. Do you ever have any family time with just you and him and the kids? I understand wanting to be with your mom and all that but your husband is not just some man with a title who makes babies with you and stays in your home. He is part of your family if your mother likes it or not. Also if your husband is unhappy about something that is going on, that should make you want to put a stop to it rather than keep it up and act as if his feelings don't matter.