Time alone with mother and children- normal?

Youre a family now and your mother is not accepting this. Of course he should go along. Youre teaching your kids that the husband is supposed to be left out of the fun stuff. What a horrible example. You and your mother should be ashamed for leaving out your husband. Many men dont care about spending time with their families, you got one that WANTS to and your leaving him out.

Youre a family, act like one.

Hi Amanda! I don't see how it is wrong. I'd let my husband go see his mom with the kids by themselves, except his mom doesn't want to see ANY of us...I spend some time with my mom and the kids alone and never heard any complaints from my husband. My mom lives in another country. Maybe you can make your husband part of the whole thing although I can see why your mom would want to see just you and the kids. You are her daughter, your kids are her daughter's children, so she might not see your husband as a relevant part of that...Ask your mom if she wouldn't mind your husband coming on those occasions. In no way is it abnormal though. In our case my husband would be happy to take that alone time to go out with his own friends, do a hobby, take a long uninterrupted nap or finish some projects around the house...

Does this happen too often, maybe he just has a problem with the frequency of it. Could you limit it to twice a month maybe??? If your mom takes up every single Saturday then he doesn't get to see any of you on ANY Saturday at all, that would upset me...

mmmmmm, quite interesting , firstly, this is pulling you into 2 directions, no1 you have to please and accept to a certain degree that yr husband is finding it upsetting , question to establish here is the big WHY , no 2 , yr mom likes and enjoys having the children , which is a good thing , Now is it not possible to let yr husband come if there is a reason behind this and he cannot visit or refuses to visit, could you two use this time to be together whilst the children are at your moms, If this is not an option couldnt yr husband use this time at home alone relaxing or taking up a new hobby whilst you and the children are at yr moms, THE REAL QUESTION HERE IS WHY DOES IT UPSET HUSBAND , Only you know the truth behind this, Be honest to yr self and the answer lies right there within your self..... From Raaj aka gary

How would you feel if he took the kids to his moms that lets say lived 30 min. away and treated them places 2 or 3 times a month and he avoided your feelings while he accommodated his mothers feelings to bond and have alone time with her son and grand kids? If you were to write down all the pros and cons from this situation and all the good and bad feelings that all of you have had or will have including your kids and parents maybe you can come to a compromise where everyone wins and don't feel left out, like they gave something up, or lost something they enjoyed.

Put yourself in your husbands shoes. Do you ever have any family time with just you and him and the kids? I understand wanting to be with your mom and all that but your husband is not just some man with a title who makes babies with you and stays in your home. He is part of your family if your mother likes it or not. Also if your husband is unhappy about something that is going on, that should make you want to put a stop to it rather than keep it up and act as if his feelings don't matter.

I think that he is being unreasonable,Tell him that you want to enjoy time with your mother and the children, that it is very important to you. But remember he needs time with you and the kids also. Maybe you can do the visits together, as a complete family with mom.

I knew a friend that tried to encourage his wife to move to another town, for a better job, She refused because she did not want to leave her mother, He moved She did not, He is now remarried in his new town.

I reread your post and got a different meaning,that it is your mothers that enjoy these bonding times, I think she is being very unfair to you and your children by omitting your husband from these get together. you have to ask yourself is it worth causing problems in your marriage. Tell your mother if the visits are to continue ,he needs to be included,go to her house and the next time have hers come to yours, and if he refuses to go to her house, he was not excluded, he excluded himself.

Good Luck

Amanda... do you ever include your husband in some of these "making beautiful memories" times I understand that you and the girls want some special times with Grandma, and I think that should happen on occasion. I think your husband IS also your family and deserves to be in on a lot of these things. What if (God forbid) he was no longer with you and the girls???? You never know what life is going to throw at you... Your mother should want him included in some of these things too. Do the girls ever just go spend the weekend with Gram and leave you and your husband time to make some special memories of your own? I don't think you are wrong to want to do these things... it sounds wonderful... I just think your husband should be involved more often... just ask... who knows he may not want to go half the time, but he might want to be asked!!!

You really are doing a good thing!!! Att'a Girl!!!

I wish my mother was like yours, but that's not why I'm responding. Just make sure your husband is invited. If he doesn't want to come along, he has no reason to be upset. Good luck!

As a mom and grandmother I too would love to have special time with my son and grandchildren. BUT.......

YOUR immediate family unit come first. It sounds like you are putting your mom's feelings before your husband's.

Your husband should come before your mom, you are married now.

I dont think it is abnormal but there might be some conversation given to including him in something on occassion. But you might want to ask your mom if there is some issue she is having with him. her not including him may be her subconcious feelings coming out and saying she doesnt like him.