My son, who will be 17 next month, has been in and out of trouble for two years. Driving without a license, drinking, smoking pot and skipping school. He has been in juvenile detention 3 times and is now on probation. He is failing school, not because of his grades which are good, but because of the attendance rule. His father and I have been divorced since he was 10 and he doesn't have a good relationship with him. He found his first joint at his Dad's house and although he has no respect for him, I am afraid he is turning in to him. Alcoholism goes back several generations on his father's side. ALthough his father is neglectful of him, he WILL however pay for help for our son and feels that he needs drug rehab. I think he needs a military school where he is made to follow rules. He does well when he is in juvey, follows all the rules and is a "model prisoner" but won't listen to me. What do you think would be best? I am at my wit's end. Thank you so much for any advice.
Amy2008-05-05T16:18:01Z
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I would suggest counseling for both he and his dad together. It's good his father is willing to pay for his help, too. But he also needs to go with him. Perhaps you can also; family counseling never hurt anyone. Only then will whatever is troubling him be uncovered. He sounds like he may be angry, or hurt about what's happened to him in his life, and he has to find a way to cope with it. He needs to let his feelings out to someone who wants to listen. Instead of military school, there may be other outlets for him to get out his frustration. Try and get him into clubs or sports he may like. Good luck with all this.
The music isn't something to fret approximately songs rather do no longer make human beings kill except they have been all waiting loopy first of all and if so something might desire to set off an episode. i'm 24 and used to take heed to 2pac this is the rapper that music is via and it by no potential did me any injury. I additionally do no longer think of it has lots to do with this female it could have knocked his self belief somewhat yet on the 2d your son is purely being a young person that would not make a number of his behaviour ok you'll be able to desire to get it interior the incredible proportions songs and weights would not advise he takes steroids, steroids are very costly. and end excusing and blaming his behaviour on others if he's doing incorrect he's conscious it. and you passing it off as this women fault or being violent as a results of fact he would not like jocks is you attempting to make your self experience extra valuable and in factor of actuality his behaviour would not make you a foul make certain or him a foul infant its teenage rebellion ion which you'll be able to desire to attempt and handbook him by yet can't provide up, preserving being concerned approximately your son and in a pair of years time your son will do what we've all carried out. i'm sorry mum i became a actual S**t as a young person.
The military school might be your best bet depending on how far gone into drugs and alcohol he is. Research some of your local school districts and see if they have any "alternative" schools. One opened in my town, and the guidance these kids get is unreal. I went to high school with the Principal at this school. We were talking about how many of these kids who didn't make it in public school, and were into trouble, turned their lives around. Maybe your son needs to see that there is other people like him out there, and it is not too late to take charge of his life. Good luck, and I'm sorry for your troubles.
i know people who drive without a license i know people who drink at 13 + i know people who smoke pot at 14 in fact one of my friends is that person
i think that by themselves, the listed calamities are, well - bad. But you did mention he was good in school? Grades in school don't say much about a persons character or how smart you are. Do you think he can take care of himself? Is he somewhat intellectual?
If yes then chill, he's 17 he smokes pot, role back to the 60's and you wouldn't have been so surprised. He drinks, um so? Who doesn't before they are 18 (21 in the states)?
Leave him alone don't fuss about it or you'll turn a good relationship bad.
Also please don't send him to military school. We're in the 21st century we're not un-civilized barbaric brutes that send our children to military school (at least most of us aren't)...
I'm very sorry to hear about your son. I know this is causing you lots of anguish. Try: www.child.net/toughlove.htm. The toll free number is: Tough-Love International 1-800-333-1069. The information is very helpful.
Every child needs their father to take an active role in their lives, but unfortunately lots of fathers don't see it that way. The results can be devastating for some children. You're doing right to keep seeking help for your son. Please don't give up. I honestly hope this can help you both. Please don't forget to pray for him.