is there a difference in loving someone vs. being in love with them?
my husband says he loves me, loves our life together and isn't going anywhere, but he can't tell me he's in love with me. this hurts as i am totally in love with him. we get along great, never fight, do everything together, and have a very comfortable life. what would you do?
Lainey R
Favorite Answer
I, for one, am a lot more partial to loving people, rather than "being in love" with them. "Falling in love" implies that a person could eventually "fall out of love", which happens a lot. Loving someone (truly loving a person) usually lasts a lifetime.
I was "in love" with my ex, and that didn't get me anywhere.
If I was to be honest, even when I was "in love" with him, I knew, deep inside, that we were not meant to be together. There was no way we could deal with each other for the rest of our lives. I hated when people asked "When are you guys getting married?" because I knew, even though we'd made it through three years of being together, neither of us wanted to get married to each other.
I used birth control religiously, cause I was afraid, if I got pregnant, I'd be stuck with him forever (Yes, I'm the girl).
Now I am married, to the most wonderful guy in the world. I consider him my best friend and I love him with all my heart. I did not "fall in love". I grew to love him for who he was, and I accept him the way he is, and he accepts me the way I am. We are never trying to change each other because we never "fell in love".
I guess the difference is, when you "fall in love", you fall for the initial impression, not the real person.
Knowing, and loving the real person seems a lot more important to me that being "in" something you could just as easily be "out" of.
Just think. You love your parents, and your siblings, and your best friends, all in different ways, but almost all of them, except for special circumstances, you'll love forever. "Forever" is better than "for now".
the1observant
I'm assuming the question is in reference to a boyfriend / girlfriend, and not a family member or general friend.
When somebody says, "I love you, but I'm not In-Love with you.", then be very aware such person is extremely confused. It is not possible to love, but not be in-love, because falling in love comes before actually loving the person. So when you hear such cheap statements, then it's your first clue the person doesn't know what true love is because he/she has never experienced it yet. You might also consider moving on and looking for someone else, because you're probably wasting your time with that person.
1st gear - There are different torques (strengths) of love in a relationship, but "falling in love" is only 1st gear, because it is the initial infatuation seed being planted in the relationship. How it grows from there is up to the couple. This is also where intimate affection may occur and Oxytocin is being released into the brain. You really can't get anywhere at all without Oxytocin (look it up, it is essential in pair bonding and romance).
2nd gear is care. You care deeply about the person and would do anything for the person.
3rd gear is sacrifice. You're willing to make sacrifices for the person, and to keep the person in your heart.
4th gear is commitment. You're willing to make serious promises that the person will always be your one-and-only center of your universe.
5th gear is marriage. You would rather die than not be with the person forever.
6th gear is maximum true love. This is where you have sworn your soul to love the person even beyond death. If the person dies before you do, then you will never seek another.
Hope that helps
Janifer
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
love vs. being in love?
is there a difference in loving someone vs. being in love with them?
Felicia
I struggle with this concept as well. I love hard. Being in love is tough because you struggle daily with the idea that you or your other half could fall out of you at any time. I believe that we all have more than one true love otherwise we would never love again if your current relationship ended. I love my husband so very much and I am glad that I am not in love because I do not walk around with the fear of falling out of love. He is a great companion. At the same time, I also believe in more than one true love in the world. I think we all struggle with our own ideas of love. It s doing your best being a loyal loved one.
DEE
Being in love will always be better in my opinion, it's like a race exciting can't can't enough of it, it's knowing you can live without dat someone and be happy but you'd kill so you don't have to do it, loving someone is easy pure and white it's not bipolar or crazy it's peace at mind,