I asked my sister to be my Maid of Honor and I am not sure what her specific 'duties' are. I know she is in charge of the bachlorette party, and the shower, but is there anything else that a maid of honor is in charge of? Also, what does the best man take responsibility for other than the bachlor party? _I've never been in a wedding, she's never been a maid of honor or been married before so i have no idea. I appreciate all help, thanks :)
2008-08-29T08:33:06Z
the wedding is in October 2009, so we have quite a bit of time.
2008-08-29T08:36:32Z
i am being super accomodating. i dont expect much. also, i told her she can get any dress any style that she likes as long as its within the color theme
2008-08-29T11:58:29Z
lol, PUGMOM, that's the whole reason i asked. i dont know about weddings. i keep reading online about how the maid of honor should blah blah blah so i asked what the maids of honor are typically in charge of. i have planned everything so far. she doesn't seem interested in helping much, so i wanted to make sure that i didn't do something that would 'upset' her or make her feel like she wasn't a part of it. :P
Charlene S2008-08-29T08:22:47Z
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You are right in that she is in charge of arranging the bachelorette party and the shower. She also is responsible for helping you to get dressed and ready for the wedding itself. She is responsible for seeing to it that guests at the reception are "taken care of"--she should help out lost-looking guests by engaging them in conversation or steering them toward other guests who could also use some company. She is in charge of contributing to the festive atmosphere of the reception, by encouraging people to dance and dancing with an assortment of the guests--not just the same guy all evening long. She should also be very familiar with the identities of all the major players--parents, grandparents, in-laws. She is responsible for consoling the bride in the event of any emotional upheavals on the big day.
This young lady is doing a lot for the bride, isn't she? Please thank her by letting her wear a dress that flatters her in color and cut and a pair of shoes that don't have her wincing before the vows are even exchanged. Give her a nice gift to.
The best man should help out with the festive-atmosphere duties outlined above--dancing with an assortment of guests, knowing who the heck people are, escorting elderly guests to comfortable tables, and making an excellent toast in which no allusions to the bridegroom's potential infidelities--past or future--are made. Also, the best man and the ushers especially should make sure to actually seat the guests at the ceremony. Space them appropriately, so everyone isn't huddled in the back of the church for fear of being too "forward". Obviously, family goes in the front row and all that. The best man is also in charge of winning the good graces of the bride by being charming to her. This will ensure the likelihood of his continued role in the life of the groom.
There are traditional "duties", but beyond showing up she has no reason to think she needs to do anything else unless you tell her!!! Get this stuff out of the way ASAP so that it doesn't become a problem at a more crucial time! Do not assume ANYTHING!
Discuss finances, see what she can afford for a dress and if she will throw a fit if the style isn't to her liking. Usually she would pay herself, but you need to be aware of her budget before making choices. Make sure you also think of the price of shoes, accessories, hair, makeup, and mani/pedis, and the parities you may be expecting. If she says she has $500 put aside for the whole wedding, you can't pick a $400 dress and then ask her to spend $300 on shoes and hair and then $200 on parties.
Also talk to her about time. If you want her to throw parties and come to all sort of dress fittings, be sure she actually has the time for it. Don't expect her to take off work unless she offers, and don't throw a fit if her other responsibilities interfere.
Keep in mind she still has a life, and you need to talk to her about all this to be sure that you remember that. I am sorry if any of this sounds silly, but it is way to easy to go to that wedding place in your mind and forget that she isn't psychic and she does have other things to worry about.
ADD: IT sounds like you are doing fine. I would still have a little converstation with her just to make sure everything is out in the open. If there is something really imprtant to you, make sure she knows.
I really depends on you, sit with your sister and discuss with her all the things that must be done and then ask her what she's willing to organize or help out with. One of my best friends asked me to be her matron of honor, I'm responsible for the bridal shower, bachelorette party, making sure everyone else in the bridal party gets to the dress shop for measurements and that everyone is satisfied with their dresses, I am in charge of making sure everyone gets to the ceremony and reception on time, I'm basically like an assistant wedding planner except they didn't go with a wedding planner - there's certain people in charge of certain things and I act as the coordinator and liaison between everyone. It's been easy so far because the wedding isn't until May 30th so I'm sure it'll get hectic come February and March.
To work with her mom and any sisters etc to plan her shower. You would plan her bachelorette party, Help her when she asks, go dress shopping. plan the stag and doe (if you live in a place that has these).
the best man does the same thing but for the groom.
Also both the MOH and BM will be the ones to put their names on the wedding certificate as witnesses.
the best man also holds the brides ring and gives it to either the minister or groom depending on the plan. If you have ring bears then that may change, but often the ring bearer has a fake ring, we usually do not trust small children with rings worth a lot of money. Maid of honor often holds ring for bride. May help with planning.