Quieted always quieted my words ricochet off the back walls of thought like silver bullets piercing into the chaos wounding self expression and killing the art with a silent tongue quieted always quieted fearful that those watchful will criticize what another heart desires gnawing I feel it gnawing at the back of my throat like a dry cough it clutches and remains stuck in the barrel indecisive finger on the trigger of hope quieted always quieted...
Temari
2009-06-29T20:05:24Z
To all that answered much love!
... I am that "loaded gun" ...
Just Be2009-06-26T18:17:10Z
Favorite Answer
I think it beautifully expresses that feeling the poet has when sharing their work with another. The work is a piece of you from deep within, & sometimes fear can quiet that voice that wants to express what the heart so deeply knows & feels, but it feels sometimes like you have laid your soul out for all to see. It is a very vulnerable & exposed feeling! Well done! Blessings!
Quieted always quieted my words ricochet off the back walls of thought like silver bullets piercing into the chaos wounding self expression and killing the art with a silent tongue
quieted always quieted fearful that those watchful will criticize what another heart desires
gnawing I feel it gnawing at the back of my throat like a dry cough it clutches and remains
stuck in the barrel
indecisive finger on the trigger
quieted always quieted...
i dont know why your own words are wounding your abillity to express yourself. that doesnt make sense.
Hi. It sounds like the devil contemplating his eventual destruction.
His finger on the trigger of hope quieted always quieted. my words ricochet off the back walls of thought those watchful will criticize what another heart desires Quieted always quieted.
It is clear that you know the answer to Erin's question. The entire poem is an answer to Erin's question, but I think she understands without wanting to understand. We all know some things about ourselves that are dangerous to say aloud. Truth unspoken can be denied, but once it is out there it has power beyond our control. Another thing Erin does supports this. Her re-arrangement actually creates a greater clarity than the original. But that's not what you wanted. The original form presents more room for interpretation. Your form helps hide the truth in plain sight. And, of course, your way heightens the emotional intensity - there's more anxiety, even fear with the original. But kudos to her. She helped me to understand your work much better.
The words The words they seem to run Run between shadows of flickering of dancing of sparkling light wrapped in blankets of darkness Never knowing the touch Never seeing the world reaching always reaching for the unreachable only feel-able And the silence screaming symbols says... I Like Your Words