Is it alright for my husband....?

to call our child "kid" when he is trying to get her attention. I mean she does have a name, but he NEVER uses it. And then when he's yelling at her saying no... it's alway "kid, no" or "god bless it kid, stop" I mean she's only 2, and she does know her name. When he's yelling at her to stop something she doesn't seem to realize he's actually yelling at her because he never uses her name so then he gets even more mad at her and will swat her bum and he'll say "kid I told you to stop"

2009-07-06T12:05:22Z

It is his child!!! I am 100 % positive because I had only slept with 2 people in my whole life, and the other person I slept with was over a year before i got pregnant.
Also, He hasn't been home for most of her life, he is in the military and has been gone since the day before she was born up until a few months ago. Is he just not connecting to her, like she's not his child because he hasn't been there to help raise her? I'm a bit on the emotional side as I'm pregnant again, so i could just be over reacting... I'm just concerned that he doesn't love her as his own and that's why he calls her "kid." She does have nicknames, but he doesn't use them... it's always "kid."

2009-07-06T12:27:29Z

I've tried to nicely point it out, and I'm just getting tired of it... He just did it again. She was getting mad at her toy he picked it up, said "kid your stupid" and took it away from her.

2009-07-06T12:30:01Z

He just got home from Korea in March, or April... I don't remember. I'm 13 weeks pregnant now. It was not planned, i was on birth control. We are both young though. He's 22.

2009-07-06T12:33:05Z

I was a teen Mom. I'm only 20 now and will have this one right before I'm 21. Again THIS PREGNANCY WASN'T PLANNED. I was not ready for it, and the first pregnancy was well and truly not planned, but i grew up fast. That's what you do when you're a teen mom. Him and I currently have a lot of problems and he gets even more ticked when i try to talk to him about the things that bother me that he does and the such. But we don't actually fight fight, it's usually just bickering.

2009-07-06T12:37:46Z

lol. I keep adding more.... I just wanted to say thank you everyone who responds I appreciate it a lot!

Miss Coffee2009-07-06T12:15:46Z

Favorite Answer

Have you told him nicely, you may get a better response if you use her name instead of kid. He may not even realize he is doing it. It would bother me also and I am not pregnant, being pregnant it is probably harder and you are all overwhelmed right now with emotions with him being home (him included). Just try to remain calm and give them some time to bond. You also need to point out to him that yelling is not the way to go about getting a 2 yr olds attention especially if she does not really know him yet. I wish you the best of luck. I know if I talk to my husband when we are alone (even if its just in bed at night) he is a lot more responsive than if I try to address it in the moment it is happening.


Edit: He should never ever call her stupid, maybe he should check into counseling to be able to deal with the things that are bothering him.

Edit: My husband is horrible at communication but if I email him he says (writes) more than he would face to face. Maybe write him a letter or email if you can do that. He is more responsive and neither of us can get defensive because the other is not there. And forget these people who say quit having kids, good god it happens unplanned and with him just getting back from the serving our country people need to be a little more understanding. Not that it excuses his behavior but none of us know what it is like for him right now either.

11

Anonymous2009-07-06T12:14:07Z

I often refer to my son as "the boy". Just a little nickname I started using a long time ago and it has stuck so far. Of course when I want to get his attention I say his real name, and I only say that when talking about him, not to him.

00

Anonymous2009-07-06T12:25:34Z

Ah, yes, he hasn't had much chance to bond with her, and now you are pregnant again, so all this is crashing down on him. It really would have been best to postpone parenthood until he was home.

You didn't say how long he's been home, so my advice is to give it time and let this bonding happen on it's own merits..you know..like your bond with the child happened on it's own merits.

Might I ask why we got pregnant again if questioning his parenting skills? Don't have a third one with him if this doesn't change.

01

Anonymous2009-07-06T12:00:23Z

He could be saying it out of love, a lot of parents use nicknames for kids out of love, we call my 8 year old brother Merdith when he's scared, or Muffin when he is hurt (not like crying hurt, little things) and we do it because we love him. Where not a** holes or anything, if its his child and not a different father 99% of me says he's doing it out of love. Hope I helped.

00

Gabi ng Lagim2009-07-06T11:53:35Z

No. It's not alright. That can be confusing for a 2 year old.

00
Show more answers (4)

Related Questions

Did I do alright by my cheating husband?Alright Husbands, The question of the hours is here?Alright...about my husband's...?Alright Husbands? The black thigh high boots or the red strappy sandals?Is this alright for my husband to do this?

Trending Questions

Why are parents allowed to ask their kids to do stuff that they (the parent) can do themselves? ?6 answersDo you find this acceptable?37 answersShould I punish my child for cracking the screen of the Iphone I bought for them?19 answersIf you're a parent, would you have sex in your kids room on their bed?7 answersShould I feel bad about babysitting?4 answers