Relative won't move out and avoids me?

Question

This past June, I had a relative moved back to my town and I had offered this person to stay at my place in hopes that he/she would get a job and either contribute to bills or earn enough to move into a place of his/her own. However after the first month, the person showed no signs of looking for a job and blew off the subject when confronted by family. I gave the person an ultimatum back in mid-July to find a job by a certain day or move out. I hoped that he/she would talk to me about it but that didn't happen until an incident occured and the relative blew up in my face about the fact and tried to make me look like the bad guy. He/she said that they would rather live out of their car than live with me but the deadline has passed and he/she still freeloads off of me. He/she hides from me to avoid speaking to me and has the nerve to delete my emails and states that if I have something to say to talk to him/her. And this person is always at my place so I have no quality time to enjoy my house without dealing with a freeloader. How can I get this person to move out?

Optimistic · Accepted Answer

It’s never smart to give anyone an ultimatum, they just get defensive. After all, it was you who decided to bring this person into your home.

In every human being there is a basic need for survival. In the psych world it's known as the "fight or flight mechanism". When you have done all that you know how to do to resolve a situation, and nothing seems to have changed, stand your ground. Do not give in.

Also remember that a person will not change until they are ready to make changes. There is an old saying "you can lead the horse to water but you cannot make them drink". True, but you can make the horse thirsty! 

I would suggest writing out a letter and say you want to sit down for a heart to heart. Remember, be nice and caring, this person could have some serious issues going on inside that you don't know about. Be gentle, there is no need to get the horrible police involved, unless it is truly to that point of course.

My thoughts are with you, take care.

vikings_mb · Answer

you can go to the court and have them evicted, if they are not willing to move out.  If you are going to give an ultimatum then you need to follow through with it, otherwise the person knows that what you are saying doesn't matter because you won't do it.

Best of Luck

dreamweaver · Answer

change your locks put the persons things  outside ask the police on how you can get them out of your house

Relative won't move out and avoids me?

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