What would you have done if this happened in front of you?
Today, while leaving Wal-mart I observed a Mother in a van, screaming at a small child maybe three or four years old. She was calling him all kinds of foul ugly names and jerking the kid all around in the front and to the back of the van. She was mad because he was out of the car seat. The child was asking her not to hurt him. When I looked over to see what was going on, she saw that I was looking and stopped, then started cursing at the child. I felt the child was in danger, and called for help. I have worked around the county and seen too many times when children are abused and no one reports it. Yet, if someone does, the parent tried to say she was playing with him. I heard her call him, a M-------- F------, I don't think this was a loving mother trying to correct or play with a child.
I feel very protective of children, as they seem to be victims, I agree children should be corrected, and even a spanking once in a while but, maybe I'm from the old school. I just don't see how a parent could treat a child this way, and yet if it were an adult, they would go to jail.
Please tell me what you think. Thank you
better mom than u2009-09-26T14:49:45Z
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i would have got her plate number and called the cops
But I must say you should never report the parents unless they are really out of control. I've seen too many people claim that spanking are illegal in the USA and think they should report any spanking they would see. The truth is there are many states and school systems where kids all the way up to 18 are spanked and sanctioned by the government.
You also should be ready to receive the wrath of parents you report. You can forget the anonymous claim the police say. I reported a neighbor down the street that let their two year old walk in the middle of the street while the mother was on the phone. I had to stop my car in the street and wait while his little sister about 6 years old get him out of the street. They came out and investigated... even check the parents house, pantry for food, cleanness, etc. I found this all out from other neighbors, but never told them I was the one that reported them. It wasn't long until I started getting long scratch marks on my car, one flat tire where the air was simply let out and another one where a knife was jammed into the side of the tire, and finally paint poured inside my car on the driver's seat that I had to replace. I eventually asked their oldest child if he knew who might have put paint on my seats, and it didn't happen again. I think it was the parents and not the oldest kid.
You have to be careful.
I bring this up because you say, "I just don't see how a parent could treat a child this way, and yet if it were an adult, they would go to jail." That mentality raises a red flag to me and first thoughts are to keep your nose out of my business. Why?
Because if I strapped an adult to a car seat, I would go to jail. If I made an adult stay in their bedroom without leaving because they did something that displeased me, I would be charged with kidnapping. If I forced an adult to go to school, I would be charged with kidnapping. If I took a cigarette lighter out of an adults hand and refused to let them have it, I would be charged with theft.
Your analogy goes to the heart of people that apply their own values to someone else and expect them to follow those values. IOW, my children are children and not adults and I will never ever treat them as an adult until they are adults. I'm sick of seeing mom's have their little girls dress up as adults and enter beauty pageants, and moms trying to reason logically with their 3 year old when he doesn't even know how to wipe his own rear-end.
I have actually been in the same situation. It was inside walmart though i seen the mother be WAYY to mean to the child, hitting it in the face, and calling it names that i wouldnt call my worst enemy. When i was leaving i noticed her again a few rows down from me, and she was still yelling at her child and telling her that if she didnt stop she was going to beat the SH** of it. I felt horrible. I am a child development major in college, so i, as well, am very protective of children, and i know how bad things like that can hurt a child's development if that is how they are treated all the time. When i got in my car, i went down the isle she was on, wrote down the tag number and called DHR. I know DHR though also, and i know that they take many calls too lightly. I told them that i thought this child was in real danger. And i did, i would have felt horrible if i seen that child's face of the news the next morning with a heading under it saying "Mother kills little girl because she wouldnt stop crying." So i always try to do what i can. I don't know what ever happened, but i hope they took that child from its mother.
In this case.... Yes, that was extreme. Hell - if this is how she treats 'im in public, imaaagine what he/she is waiting for at home :(. Thank God for ppl like you. The only reservation I have is that social services don't have a variety of ways to deal with family trauma. Instead of grabbing the kid right out of his mother's hands and putting them in a group home (I assume would be done here), a case worker should be assigned to watch over the child, let the child know how to get help when needed, what is considered abuse (kids may not know since it's their parents doing it), and give parents the ultimatum to enroll in anger management class and maybe child-baring class, or have the child taken away. But what you did was right. A person cussing at a child in public is likely asking for intervention.
You were right to call for help, and explain to the person who is handling the case that a loving mom who is playing with her kid does not scream and jerk around her kid while calling him MF. You tell them what you saw and that it stopped the moment you were looking.
If she does this to her child in public you can only imagine what she does to her child at home when no one is around, when you are in public most people hold back with yelling and spanking their child. Sadly this is all you can do for that child, in this case I think you did the right thing.