A friend of mine has just found her partner is looking at porn, they have 2 young children together and he is looking everyday and chatting to women via internet cam. He is spending up to 6 hours a night looking at it. He does not know that she knows and has been watching his history and she is very upset. I am prude and think it is so wrong in many ways and she has told him her feelings on porn many times although he is continuing to watch porn. My question is do men who look at porn not like the woman they are with ? Would this man be into leaving my friend ? ( he is a bit of an Ahole to her ) And if men get off with visual stimulation and women get off with feeling sensation would it be alright if some man was to give her feeling stimulation ? IYKWIM because both involve someone else so technically it is cheating .
2009-09-28T01:25:36Z
She isn't cheating, and has asked me to ask if it is normal as she is not allowed to use the computer. I have my views which are not the views of others and I said I would ask on the net for her. I would leave him if I were her but I am not her. She is wanting a large majority of views on the matter as she has been in many bad relationships and ends up alone because they have left her for someone else.
bender_xr2172009-09-28T01:22:47Z
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His viewing of porn is not as troublesome as his chatting with other women is. A lot of guys look at porn, it doesn't necessarily mean we are any less attracted to our wives/girlfriends, we are are simply highly attracted to the female form and as you pointed out, men are visually driven in matters of sex, at least initially. However, the fact that he seeks out other forms of intimacy from women on line is a clear indicator there is something wrong in his relationship with his wife especially if he is chatting with these women about sexually charged topics.
First off, he is looking at porn and talking to women online. Not illegal but questionable behaviour in a committed relationship. If he is meeting these women behind her back for sexual encounters, then that is something different. She is getting off at the hands of another man. Not illegal either but very questionable in a committed relationship.
I don't think your friend, or you, can take the moral high ground here. What he is doing is questionable but it does not mean he doesn't love her or find her sexually attractive. Most men will look at porn at some time or another it is a simple sexual gratification thing like masturbation. What she is doing is wrong and potentially grounds for a divorce (if they were married). They both need to come clean and see where that leaves their relationship. Whether he is an ahole to her or not, she needs to confess to her wrongs to.
I think your best option is to stay out of it and let them sort it out between them.
This question has been asked many times. For most men looking at porn is second nature. Men love variety and for many men fantasy is a great risk free tool to find that variety. I know many men that love their wives a lot, but porn is just a fantasy, a way to release stress, and also a way not to cheat. Now the chatting is a little bit more tricky but as long as he does not go beyond the fantasy is fine
And if you are the lady in question, relax. It is only porn and internet chat. It is probably his release and way to be someone else for a bit of fun.
Doesn't mean he is going to leave, or is going to even cheat.
And, what a load of rubbish about is she had someone manually stimulating being the same as someone just wasting time on the net. In person is a whole lot more 'real' than some fantasy on the net.