Four weeks ago I lost my husband of 26 years. I don't want to advertise or do anything inappropriate but I'm wondering how long I should wear a wedding ring. Are there rules of etiquette for this? I am still wearing black and I am, of course, still in mourning. But I do want to start living again as the intensity of my loss subsides.
Cash
Favorite Answer
I'm sorry you have to go through this. The rules are long gone. You need to do what's right for you. I believe Katie Couric wore her husband's wedding ring on a chain for a long time after her husband died. Some women take it off immediately due to the grief or looking at it constantly, for a fresh start or some have it made into something else, or for some individuals it's truly just jewelry, the relationship didn't need a ring to signify the vows, the list goes on. Again, you don't even have to wear black unless you want to, but please don't do it to confirm to someone elses idea of grieving. You still have a life to live and live it to the fullest. Especially if your hubby died of an illness and was expected, you've already completed a huge part of the grieving process. Do what is right in your heart and gut, not what someone else thinks you should do. If you feel pressured in any way contact a good grief counselor in your area to help you work though issues, okay?
is it time to go home yet?
I don't think there are any rules for this. You need to do what you feel is right in your heart. I know for example my grandfather wore his wedding ring until the day he died even though he was a widow for over 10 years. Other people may not find this appropriate.
Best of luck.
duppyhead
Obviously being with your husband for 26 years
indecates that you loved your husband very much an there is no rules to the way you feel so
follow your own heart an do what is right for you
an things will be ok
Aporia
I'm so sorry for your loss :( It is perfectly acceptable and normal to wear your ring for as long as you wish. That is a rule I got from Miss Manners, aka Judith Martin, so as far as etiquette is concerned, it is completely correct.
Mushu
I'm very sorry for your loss. It is my opinion that he was your husband, therefore is entirely up to you how long you want to wear the ring, and you should not have to explain to anyone the reasons for your decision to remove the ring when you see fit. You knew your husband better than anyone else in the world, I am sure he would have been fine with your time frame to wear the ring. A ring is a symbol, and there is no requirement to wear it for a certain period.