Dog rules...(dumb 20 character rule)?

I am a dog therefore::::

This is my side of the bed, scoot over

This is my steak, grill your own

This is my play time, get up off your butt and run with me

This is my house, make sure it stays clean

This is my Snausage, get your own

This is my ice cream, do not invade my bowl

This is my recliner, but I will allow you to sit by me

This is my poop time, please respect my privacy

Last but not least,

This dear mom and dad, did you make sure and tape K-9 cops for me, I was napping and could not watch it this week.. ha ha

I am simply gonna do one in all my dogs :) general data- title: Scout Age: 5 Gender: Male Breed: Border Collie Neutered/spayed: yes What do feed: normal alternative big Breed adult (he wishes the extra protein due to the fact that he is quite energetic) how many- what number of walks a day: ordinarily one, but he has a significant fenced in again yard that he plays in. How many toys: too many!! What number of leashes: loads... I might must go depend how many collars: 1 he wears every day and a specified one for search work. How many tricks: 20+ what number of beds: 2 how many crates: 1 that he never makes use of anymore what number of bones: 6 health- How oftentimes a week are there teethed brushed: in no way and i know i must :( How typically a month are they bathed: as a minimum as soon as and more if he rolls in the mud or something how commonly a month are there nails cut: after they need it how usually a month are there ears cleaned: once they need it

Dog Speaking:

Even though we have a king size bed, you only get 10 inches of it.

Any kind of package you open reminds me of treats!

Make sure you give me more love than the other dogs in the house.

Scratch my head while you are sitting on the potty.

Cute.

That is one of the most famous sets of "dog rules" there are, you know. the website. It's in a few of my books.

THE DOG DICTIONARY

"Drop it" means you want it, but I got it.

"Fetch" means that you want me to get that, and if I feel like running I can give it back to you to throw it again.

"Quiet" means that I can listen into conversations now if I want to instead of barking to myself.

"Stay" means that I get to chill while you walk away for no reason. Ans that's usually a bad thing.

"Sit" means touch the bottom to the ground.

"Good" means...Food! Same with "Treat". And "T-R-E-A-T". There is no such thing as a dumb dog, after all.

"I Love You" Treat! Scratch in that favorite spot...

A lick from us...I love you to.

Or maybe I love your last meal.

I can scratch the bathroom door to pieces when you are in there.

If you let me in the above, then I can sit and stare you down while you "do your business".

I can walk all over you as you sit on the couch trying to complete your online college classes.

You must throw kibble on the floor toward the opposite way while you leave the house to divert me from the fact that you are leaving.

It can go on all nite.

I am a dog, therefore:

-I get the king sized bed, and you, my human, get a pillow and blanket on the floor

-I will sit there and stare at you until you get off of my spot on the couch

-Don't get mad at me for licking myself in inappropriate places, I'm sure if you could reach you would do it too

-There is a reason why I lay on the remote, what we are watching is fine, if I wanted you to change the channel I would let you have the remote.

-It makes me angry when you throw away the bird that I catch for you on occasion. The dead bird to my kind is like an Olive Branch of peace to your kind.

Well, my *personal* dog's rules:

*Just because Sam behaves, doesnt mean I have to.

*That leaf is in my mouth, it's mine.

*The smell of the dead animal I just rolled in is a rare prefume, not a gross stench.

*You can tell me to sit like a Lady until you're blue in the face---I'm NOT a Lady.

*To prove I am *not* a lady, I'll get nice and dirty in the creek, and demand a kiss on my muddy nose.

*Brushing sessions last a maximum of 3 minutes, or I'll squirm, I swear--it's not *fair* Holly has short hair! (rhyme!)

This was fun.

This house belongs to ME, I just let my mom stay here because she pays the rent.

If you want to visit my mom, you should know I live here too, and if you don't like puppy kisses, stay the hell outta MY house!

I try to behave but I get excited when company comes over, I jump and I kiss, if you can't handle that, stay the hell out of MY house!

EVERY bag you bring into the house is MINE.

I MUST inspect every bag that you bring into MY house!

As long as my German Short Haired Pointer and my Cavalier King Charles don't bite, bark constantly, or do anything destructive they can do whatever they like.

I'm attempting to find a copy of the LOSE policy...

Laws of Samoyed Entitlement: