jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

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NO SEX SINCE 1955

A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'

'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!"

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I Hope Not; It's only 2130 now.'...Show more

Heres my favorite yo mamma joke

Yo mamma is so fat she went to the daytona 500 wearing a goodyear t-shirt and some pilot crawled up her as and tryed to fly her.

:)...Show more

haha well good i got a sex joke for you hope you like it :) on hearing that her grandad had just died kate went and visited her nan to comfort her when she asked how he died her nan replyed by sayin that he had had a heart attack while makin love 2 her kate said that it was silly that 2 old people where havin sex as it was askin for trouble her nan replyed by sayin that they used to do it to the slow pace of the church bells as it was just the right speed she then wiped a tear from her eye and carryed on by sayin''if that dahmed ice cream van hadnt come along he would still be alive today'' :) xxx...Show more

here's some yo mamma jokes i have heard...
1. yo mamma so fat when she jumped into the atlantic ocean all of the whales sang we are family!
2. yo mamma so fat when she entered a fat contest the judges said sorry no proffessionals aloud!

ps i know they aren't funny but hopefully they would help you......Show more

here's a yo mama joke:
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to da super bowl.

Blond joke:

A blond cuts off a trucker and pulls over. Both of them.
The trucker steps out and tells her to step out of the car.
The man draws a circle and tells her to step inside of it.
The man takes out a bat and breaks the lights.
He looks at the blond and find that shes smiling.
He breaks each side window.
He looks at the girl and find her giggling.
He says, "ok ya asked for it!" and smashed the front window.
He looks at her and shes rollong on the road laughing her but off.
"What are you laughing about!!?!?!?!??!"
"I stepped out of the circle when you weren't looking!"...Show more