What would you do if your daughter told you a kid in the neighborhood gets his by his mother?
Earlier today my daughter told me about a couple of people looking for a boy who ran out of his home "because he didn't want to take the garbage out." My daughter found out that the reason he ran out was that his mother hit him because he didn't want to take the garbage out. She told him he should tell someone, but he said he didn't want to because he didn't want his mom to hit him again. She then asked him if his mother has hit him before and he said yes. How do you handle a situation like this? If the boy is afraid of getting hit again, how do you report it and still protect him? I mean, if you tell someone like the school principal or counselor, they are going to talk to the boy, and possibly his mother and then the mother would know her son told and that could get her angry and hit him. So how do you handle something like this?
2010-01-27T15:41:18Z
Just to add something else.. my daughter said something about the mother hitting him in his neck, ( I forget the exact word the boy told her) so this is no smack across the face.
itstight38@sbcglobal.net2010-01-27T16:01:51Z
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I've always said that if a neighborhood child told me that his mom, dad or grandparent was hitting him or they was scared that I would get involved even if I had to do it anonymously
I say that since the kid is running away because he's scared then you need to call social services
Now it could be nothing or it might be something it's not good to take the chance that it's nothing
Because you don't want to be the neighbor who was told that the little boy was getting hit and didn't take it serious
Then you read or hear on the news the little boy is missing or worse died and you didn't do anything
So better to safe then sorry later
Don't even tell your next door neighbor or another parents who may know her that your going to do it
Because if too many people know your going to do it before you do it it could cause her to react on you if it is nothing and if it's something she still may
But if that mother is smart after being visited by social service she now know that they're watching her and she's not going to touch the little boy again
Unless she wants to end up in jail
So I say tell and ask them not to tell who told them because you don't want her harassing you and your family
If she ask them who told tell her a concerned parent and leave it at that
God Bless and Good Luck
I hope it's nothing either way you still can sleep at night knowing that you took a understandable stand
You are going to open a whole can of worms by asking this because some people support spanking and some don't.
If the mother is beating her child to the point that he has bruises and misses school, or is always "running into the door" then you should definitely say something. If the child was spanked because he did not do a chore that he is supposed to do, or his mom asked him to and he ignored it, then it was for good reason.
You can address the issue with the school teacher or principal... just make it clear that this is what your daughter said he said and not something you have witnessed. That way they may be able to keep an eye on him for signs of being beaten.
This child may be on the autism spectrum. My son has high functioning autism and it can be very embarrassing sometimes when we visit friends' houses. He tends to wander around houses. If you do have her over your house again, be sure to have the playdate in one room (playroom, daughter's bedroom, etc) and make sure you tell your daughter and her friend that the other rooms are off-limits. Perhaps the girl's parents are reluctant to share her diagnosis with you since they are afraid that the diagnosis of autism might alarm you or dismay you, therefore losing a possible friend for their daughter. A child with autism has difficulty making and maintaining friendships. They don't "get" the social cues that most people take for granted. It's best for a playdate to have a set activity (board games, crafts, etc). I hope that you will be patient with this child, and hopefully, the mom will tell you more about the girl as she gets more comfortable knowing you. I typed my answer prior to all of your edits. I still think the girl may have autism. She's "slow for her age" and the lack of social skills awareness gave me the idea. I cannot imagine letting my children go over to a brand new neighbor's house for hours without checking on them and without getting your ok. If/when the girl shows up at your house, just firmly and politely say "Sorry, but Janie cannot play right now." and close the door. It sounds like it's become routine for this girl to come over to your house. I would definitely speak with the mother. It sounds like the mom is using you (extremely unfairly) as her child's babysitter and it needs to stop. I'm sorry that you are so disappointed in hoping that your daughter would have a friend so close by and it's not working out quite the way you'd hoped. I know I would be, too, if I were in your situation. I would dearly love a neighbor friend for my son. Stick to your guns and hopefully, the mom will have sense enough to control her daughter. Kind thoughts and best wishes to you......
Child protective services or the Police I would very much assume. That way they monitor the situation and if it is that he is being beaten, they will have the evidence to do something about it.
Bear in mind though that children do tend to make a lot of stories larger than life, so it may be something as simple as he was misbehaving and she smacked him, which although not everyone agrees with, isnt child abuse.
You need to report this to an authority figure like a police officer. Obviously if the kid is getting hit, the police are not going to give the kid back to the mom. So you need to help this boy otherwise sooner or later, the mom will get angry and hit him again.