I have always been very leery of 'labeling' a child's behavior issues. I have believed that most children (especially 4 yr olds) are just testing the boundaries and are completely normal. However, my daughter is VERY defiant and her actions are far beyond 'normal' from what I have seen working in day cares, being a nanny and having 2 other children. Our daughter was adopted and her biological parents both have drug/alcohol problems (she was born with cocaine in her system and the mother did it the entire pregnancy), they both have ADHD, Bi-polar and the father has ODD. I do believe that environment can be a huge reason why children act that way. But, it's also proven that DNA can have a lot do with chemical imbalances like bi-polar. My daughter will have a fit about something minor (can't have a cookie at 9am, etc- stuff she KNOWS has always been a rule and is explained to her nicely)... and most of the time that leads to a tantrum of kicking, flailing, screaming, throwing that can go on for hours. Her dr thinks she could have early-onset bi-polar but medication is not an option at her age (and I don't ever want her on it unless very medically needed). We are seeing a behavioral specialist soon for some potty training issues. We do time-outs, etc and we praise her for her 'good' behavior. The same techniques work fine for her younger sister and most other children. I ignore her fits but she becomes even more enraged and out of control. She is in-consolable during them. I just thought I would see if anyone has dealth with this in a child so young, or if anyone has any thoughts. Thanks
2010-02-03T13:22:12Z
Hello, my child is 4. I am 30.
Empowering Parents2010-02-04T08:03:24Z
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As a parent, you can’t satisfy a child with ODD, since their thinking is irrational. They clamor for your attention and then tell you to leave them alone. The sad truth is, kids with ODD aren’t very likeable. Parents often feel guilty about the fact that they love their kids, but don’t like being around them.
Parents get blamed for their child’s oppositional behavior and tend to heap even more blame on themselves. The parent of a child with ODD often feels incompetent and isolated. They live with the self-imposed shame that other people think they’re bad parents, and that humiliation grows larger as their world gets smaller. Left untreated, Oppositional Defiant Disorder can lead to Conduct Disorder, a more serious pathology that is a precursor for anti-social behavior and criminality.
Of course, for many parents, ODD is not the primary issue. Rather, they are dealing with continuous, low-level defiance that is not incendiary and aggressive, but is aggravating, annoying and disruptive to the family. Whether the defiance has turned into a diagnosis of ODD or has not, the parent’s approach should be the same.
Read more below on How to Stop the War and Restore Peace at Home:
I do understand your delima our daughter is almost 10 and has been diagnosed with oppositional defiance and early onset bi-polar (her bio-mom is bi-polar unfortunately it can be genetic) the unfortunate thing about your situation is most tests that can be performed by a psychologist are not very accurate until at least 8 and even then they don't really recommend until later unless they have extreme behavior issues. One thing they did tell us is all children go through stages and many of those stages can seem very extreme it is when the behavior gets past a 6 month period when it is not longer considered a stage. (That would probably be a longer amount of time for a younger child.) If you do feel she is not within normal behavior limits you may look into therapy geared toward much younger children. You can also find books on oppositional defiance and follow the steps they provide they work just as well on children with out behavioral issues. I am sorry for what you are going through and hope this helps
RE: Oppositional Defiant Disorder in a 4 year old? I have always been very leery of 'labeling' a child's behavior issues. I have believed that most children (especially 4 yr olds) are just testing the boundaries and are completely normal. However, my daughter is VERY defiant and her actions are far beyond 'normal' from what I...
Hi...My grandson's bio father was a meth head...My daughter did NOT use drugs and dropped the father the day she found out (before the child was born) he was using meth and produced a child...Unfortunately, bi-polar, adhd and other behavioral problems are inherited and a drug addicted sperm donor didn;t help my little guy...
He was diagnosed with bi-polar & adhd...And eventually put on medication to help his mood swings...He has an awesome set of doctors who keep up with him and are not looking to over-medicate him to suit society's definition of the perfect child...But his problem was interfering with his schooling, peer relationships, family life, etc...We couldn't even have a pleasant family outing without him dominating the whole activity with his tantrums and ill behavior...He was so miserable and didn't know why...It was really sad to watch because there was no comfort we could give him that helped.
There are natural herbal remedies to aid these problems if you can afford them...We couldn't and my daughter receives Medicaid, so we went with the doctors but only after we researched the alternatives as we didn't want a zombie for a child and told the doctors so...Nor did we want to hurt him in any way...We just wanted him to function beyond his misery and have a chance rather than be a statistic one day.
Do a google for natural remedies for bi-polar & adhd...They have a liquid form which I researched... They do help somewhat and can be beneficial until she's old enough for some regulated medication to help her mood swings. God Bless you...You are not alone.