Why does this happen to me?

Question

I am sure that  almost every man (rarely women) went through having fights with other guys..fights with the fist.I played judo for about 2 years and got the orange belt (the third belt) but later I left judo to focus on my studies (I am 16 years old)..

my problem is that couple of events happened to me that was going end me up in having a fight but thank god it didnt escalate up to that point because I dont really like violence. I find my heart is pumping really hard as my opponent is coming very close to me and trade with each other swears and curses and I felt that my whole body was paralized and my heart is going to tear up my lungs from all the extremely hard pumping...then I found him grabbing me from the collar and I did the same to him...it was like some kind of reaction....I have been taught in judo what to do if someone did that to me but when it did happen to me at that time I didnt think I just caught him from the collar and luckily a teacher came and saw and stopped anything from happening.....

Some of my friends talk about their fights and when I ask them how do you felt when you fought they reply nothing..Did your heart pump really hard?? they say no...

some guys told me its because I am afraid...in another words a coward...if this is true how do I get rid of it??? And no having a fight everyday until it is gone is not an option LOL...

but seriously...I ama bit worried about this.

Mbizo · Accepted Answer

Never, ever equate fear with cowardice. Indeed, to face your fears when you're terrified is bravery. I know it doesn't seem like it at the time, but fear is a good thing. We need fear, or we'd all be doing things which would probably get us killed! 
Everyone's different, and they re-act in different ways. I'm an old man, but I've bayoneted my share of men - in a war situation, I hasten to add! Believe me, I was absolutely scared stiff, but there isn't much you can do about it. It's the old 'kill or be killed' bit. I can still handle myself all right, but I hate fights. Those who like them are usually, to put it politely, mentally challenged. Don't believe what your friends tell you. They haven't the guts to be honest.
Good luck and best wishes,
Mike

? · Answer

Not wanting to fight does not make you  a coward.  Fighting someone because your 'friends' think you should does.  Everyone gets in fights sometimes, but you just have to remember that 98% of fights are two people who don't want to fight but feel they can't back down.  Just say look him straight in the eye, don't show a lick of fear and say "I'm not doing this."  Then pointedly turn your back to him, wait a second to make the point that yes, you realize he could jump you, but you don't care, and walk of without hurrying.  If he does jump you, he's going to look like a putz for jumping you from behind.

If you do start fighting, just remember you are going to get hit.  It's not whether you get hit or not that wins the fight.  It's how you react when you DO get hit.  If you choose to fight, do it to win, and not a bit less...

christina c · Answer

don't be worried. it's human nature. if you are bieng attacked you do one of two things ALWAYS (if in fear) fight or flight. you defend yourself or leave. you are strong in character to defend yourself. if you are smart enough to know that if you can, it's better to leave. but sometimes you have no choice, sometimes it's human nature.

Why does this happen to me?

Related Questions

Trending Questions