Who pays for what in at wedding.?

I'm in college and graduate in December, or wedding isn't until next April. My parents took a loan out to pay for my schooling, so they won't have alot to help with for the wedding...my finance's parents don't have much money either, but then his mother doens't work...and they think my parents have money and can pay for everything...she expects to pay nothing because they don't have alot of money...i strongly think that if it's that big of a deal about money then she should get a job. i know my fiance and i will have to pay for some of the wedding, but how do i get his parents to help more then just being "stuck in the tradional" way of the bride's family does everything...

Anonymous2010-04-17T21:05:55Z

Favorite Answer

Just be honest and talk to them, if they really care about their son and you then they will help out. At my cousin's wedding they split the cost, I think the whole bride's family pays everything is so longer so important. but if that doesn't work then be realistic about what you can have at your wedding, don't try to have a champagne taste on a beer budget. As long as you and your fiance are both happy then that is all that really matters.

Suz1232010-04-18T04:48:55Z

If two people are mature enough to wed, then they are mature enough to pay for their own wedding.

If parents volunteer to help, great. Bride and groom can gratefully accept the assistance . . . or they can politely decline. If bride and groom accept the parents' financial assistance with the wedding, then they must also be willing to accept parental input on the wedding plans.

If parents do not volunteer to help? Then bride and groom pay for the wedding themselves, doing what they as a couple can comfortably afford. If that means downsizing their plans, then they downsize their plans.

In other words, there is absolutely no polite way to (as you wrote) "get his parents to help more than just being stuck in the traditional way of the bride's family does everything."

My suggestion? Perhaps you and groom might consider postponing your wedding for a few months . . . working and saving until you can afford the wedding you desire.

Anonymous2010-04-18T07:09:30Z

This isn't the 1950s anymore sweets. These days many bride and grooms pay for their own wedding.... entirely on their own without help from mommy and daddy.

If you can't afford to get married, then you either don't get married and save up until you can afford the wedding of your dreams or you get married now within your means.

You can't ask people for money to get married, particularly when they have no money to give.

Artemis2010-04-18T04:25:31Z

In the strict traditional sense, here is who pays for what http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html

However, times have changed and most [if not all] costs fall on the couple. You'll be lucky if your parents pay 1/3, his pay 1/3, and you pay 1/3.

They don't owe you anything, and if you can't afford your dream wedding then you either need to tone it down or put it off until you've saved up.

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