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JJ asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

Who pays for what in at wedding.?

I'm in college and graduate in December, or wedding isn't until next April. My parents took a loan out to pay for my schooling, so they won't have alot to help with for the wedding...my finance's parents don't have much money either, but then his mother doens't work...and they think my parents have money and can pay for everything...she expects to pay nothing because they don't have alot of money...i strongly think that if it's that big of a deal about money then she should get a job. i know my fiance and i will have to pay for some of the wedding, but how do i get his parents to help more then just being "stuck in the tradional" way of the bride's family does everything...

15 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Just be honest and talk to them, if they really care about their son and you then they will help out. At my cousin's wedding they split the cost, I think the whole bride's family pays everything is so longer so important. but if that doesn't work then be realistic about what you can have at your wedding, don't try to have a champagne taste on a beer budget. As long as you and your fiance are both happy then that is all that really matters.

  • Suz123
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If two people are mature enough to wed, then they are mature enough to pay for their own wedding.

    If parents volunteer to help, great. Bride and groom can gratefully accept the assistance . . . or they can politely decline. If bride and groom accept the parents' financial assistance with the wedding, then they must also be willing to accept parental input on the wedding plans.

    If parents do not volunteer to help? Then bride and groom pay for the wedding themselves, doing what they as a couple can comfortably afford. If that means downsizing their plans, then they downsize their plans.

    In other words, there is absolutely no polite way to (as you wrote) "get his parents to help more than just being stuck in the traditional way of the bride's family does everything."

    My suggestion? Perhaps you and groom might consider postponing your wedding for a few months . . . working and saving until you can afford the wedding you desire.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This isn't the 1950s anymore sweets. These days many bride and grooms pay for their own wedding.... entirely on their own without help from mommy and daddy.

    If you can't afford to get married, then you either don't get married and save up until you can afford the wedding of your dreams or you get married now within your means.

    You can't ask people for money to get married, particularly when they have no money to give.

  • 1 decade ago

    In the strict traditional sense, here is who pays for what http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what....

    However, times have changed and most [if not all] costs fall on the couple. You'll be lucky if your parents pay 1/3, his pay 1/3, and you pay 1/3.

    They don't owe you anything, and if you can't afford your dream wedding then you either need to tone it down or put it off until you've saved up.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    You can't force them. It's your wedding not theirs. If they are not going to helpo then scale back the wedding. There is no way she should get a job to pay for your wedding.

    Work out what money you have and p[lan accordingly.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't.

    It's your wedding therefore you and your fiance should pay for it. It's absurd to wanna make your mil get a job to pay for your wedding. If you can't afford the wedding that you think you deserve then you either put it off until you can save enough money or you just elope.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The bride and groom pay for everything unless someone else offers to help, and in that case they give what they choose to give.

    You cannot "get" his parents to help out more since they are not required to help out at all. To expect or try to convince anyone to pay for your wedding is just rude and entitled.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The best way to handle it is to just sit down and discuss it with both sets of parents. Ask what they are willing/able to pay for. Things are not as traditional as they once were. Some parents prefer to give money and some prefer to pay for certain things... so just sit down and talk about it openly. Don't assume anything, and don't expect anything, just be open and honest and receive what they say.

  • Folks, I perform wedding ceremonies

    Forget tradition, you and your folks decide who pays. One side no longer pays the bulk but generally it is shared equally.

    If money is an issue for all then keep it small or even elope. Anyone who does not like that, amongst the folks, must agree to pay for their 100 mates or whoever/ whatever

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