can you invite someone to your wedding but not their spouse?
My brother moved away from home about 3 years ago, he is a Marine and he was in Africa for a year of that. When he got back from Africa, about 2 months later he was engaged to a woman that none of us had heard of before their announcement (we didn't know he was even seeing anyone as he told us he was single). She has family that lives about 30 minutes away from us and they live about 5 hours away from us. They regularly visit her family, but she said it is a sacrifice from spending time with her family when she is with ours. I told her and my brother that I miss seeing him and she told me that I am selfish and that I need to respect the fact that she will soon be his wife and I need to learn my boundaries. I don't first off understand how I crossed a line saying that I miss him, as I said it to him all the time when he was in Africa. Second, He told me that he is playing the "sides" game and will always choose her. I told him, I don't understand taking sides, as I just said that I missed him. So I am wondering, with all the problems she has caused, is it ok to not invite her to my up coming wedding? And how would I do this? He may not choose to come because of this, but at this point, I guess I don't care. I have never met this girl face to face, and she is placing our family in the back of the line because spending time with us would mean sacrificing time with hers when they are 30 minutes away. I also have what she said all in writing as I have been trying to get to know her through email ect. But now, based off this, I don't want to get to know her. And my brother won't talk to me anyway because I mad her mad...again I don't understand how...but whatever. So seriously, can I not invite her to our wedding?
Um..Blunt, are you telling me that I can't miss my own brother?! and its ok for his fiance to get mad at me for saying that?! Have you ever been in a relationship or married? You don't treat your spouses family as if they are nothing. And if my family lived that close to my fiance's family I would be more than happy and willing to spend time with them and not tell someone that its sacrificing something to spend time with their family, your just as much of a ***** as she is!
ok, I don't blame the Marines for anything with him, and you know what blunt, my fiance is in the Army, and I know what its like to be alone at home waiting for him to come home. But when he does get home I make damn sure he spends time with his family! I am not whiney, but I don't see how I am whiney when I say that I miss my brother who used to spend a lot of time with us, we were very close growing up and now we see him for 15 minutes if that every year now that he is engaged, but we hear all the time that he is 30 minutes away at her families house and he can't come see us because it would be a sacrifice for her to spend time with us. I was more then willing and excited to meet her until she jumped on me for saying that I wanted to see them.
Thank you Andrea, I felt like I was wrong for saying that I wanted to meet her and I miss my brother, so I don't understand why she freaked out on me.
ok, I don't know how much more clear I can get on what I said, I litterally said "I wish that we lived closer so that we could spend more time together like we used to, we miss you, and I would love to meet..." (I said his fiances name but I'm not going to say it on here) And when he was in Africa, I used to say "I can't wait for you to come home so we can see you and hang out because we miss you" so not much has changed in the way I said things, except that the place has changed and I added his future wife. If she wouldn't write me off every time I speak to her, I wouldn't be so mad, but she never even gave me a chance. She isn't the first "new comer" to the family. In fact, my older brother, who I am even closer to, moved away with his wife (who I adore) and we talked on the phone and at the end of every call we would say that we love each other and miss each other and can't wait to see each other again. I don't see anything wrong with this. It was how we were all raised.