can you invite someone to your wedding but not their spouse?

Perhaps your wedding would be a good place to smooth things over. Invite her and show her that your side is trying to make peace. Maybe she does not want to spend time with your side because she has not met you and feels an uncomfortable vibe? Like it or not, shes your brothers girl, and if shes as controling as she sounds, he probally wont come to your wedding if her name is not on the invite.

If she does infact cause problems, simply escort her out, or have a family member keep an eye and an ear out the whole time for the things she says and does so that way she does not disturb you on your day.

That being said, try and make peace, what if she has a baby with him? If she can control your brother, she most definatly control the children!

Good luck and congrats!

It is against all wedding etiquette to invite someone without their spouse. While I don't know the whole story, you have to understand something. Your brother is now married. To a mean woman, maybe, but still he will always choose her. She holds the power here. He wants to sleep with his wife, so your feelings as his sister will come second. I'm sorry, but it is the truth. My best advice is just to be the bigger person and invite her. The old saying of killing with kindness has stuck around for a reason. It is often the best revenge because people like that WANT to hurt you. And if you let it ruffle your feathers, you have given them exactly what they wanted, a reaction. Also, another thing to think about, not inviting him or her to your wedding will start a battle that could potentially last a lifetime. And if you want to be close to your brother, I would not get into a war with his wife.

A married couple is a package deal, so are engaged, living together and otherwise long term.

If you invite one and not the other, the one who is invited is likely to be offended that their spouse or s/o wasn't invited and will not come.

If you do not invite her it will cause more problems then it will solve.

I'm not saying I agree with her, just that she is a big part of his life and you need to accept that. You don't need to be her BFF or even like her, just learn to co-exist with her if you want to be a part of your brothers life and the lives of any children they may have. While it seems she would not be your first choice in a spouse or mate for him, its not your choice to make, its his. I didn't like my brothers now wife when they started dating, they have been married for 7 years, together I think for 12 and I don't like her any better today then the day I met her, the rest of the family also does not like her. However, since I like to see my niece & nephew often I bite my tongue.

Short answer: As the hostess of the event, you choose the guest list. You are not legally required to invite someone.

Real answer: Your brother has chosen this woman, regardless of whether you like her. Excluding her from the wedding just to prove a point is petty and immature, and disrespectful to your brother. Is a lifetime of resentment and hurt feelings REALLY worth the satisfaction of not inviting her?

Think of it this way: She's already limiting his time with you and you're not on her bad side yet. Think about how easy it would be for her to manipulate him into staying away from you when you do something that is legitimately rude and hurtful. I think you're taking a dangerous gamble with your brother's good regard if you choose not to invite his wife.

How much of this is actually her trying to cause problems. She just may be a high maintenance person and your brother is catering to her wishes. If you don't invite her, he probably won't come. Since your brother has chosen her as someone he wants in his life, that he wants as family, then you should treat her like family as best as you can, instead of choosing not to write to her or include her in family functions.

If she is the only spouse you aren't inviting then it will really cause an issue for your brother. I would just invite her and see what she is really like, in person. Who knows, if she can't be seperate from her family, she might not come to the wedding anyways.

The truth lies in the middle. I don't blame you for being frustrated if he's making no attempt to visit his family, yet spends all his time with her family. And it's never wrong to tell your brother you miss him (as long as your invites make it clear you'd love to see his wife, too).

But Blunt is correct. It's immature to get in a pissing contest with this and insult him in such an obvious and hurtful way as to not invite her to your wedding.

Unless they are estranged or about to divorce, you MUST invite your brother's wife/fiancee....not to do so would be very disrespectful to your brother. Your feelings about his wife/fiancee do not matter...she is HIS wife/fiancee and HIS choice and you need to respect that.

Since he has told you if it came to choosing sides he would choose his soon to be wife, if you don't invite her, he may very well refuse to attend your wedding.

Part of being an adult to to deal with the unpleasantries of life....and just because it's your wedding doesn;t mean you are exempt from that.

I will not comment on your 'relationship' with his soon to be wife as I feel there's a lot you are not telling us. Nothing wrong in telling your brother you miss him....it's HOW you told him that counts and you are being very quiet on that score...makes one wonder....

If you truly miss your brother, you will NOT take the chance of him refusing to attend the wedding and thus you will invite his bride to be. If not, then being socially rude to her is more important than seeing your brother at your wedding. You decide.

It sounds to me like you judged this woman from the start. It sounds like you missed him when he was in Africa, then he came home and surprised you with the news that he's engaged to a woman you've never even heard of. You sound jealous of the time he spends with her vs. you, but you're going to have to get used to it. Things started off on the wrong foot between you and her, and its time to let it all go and start over.

Do you hate her more than you love your brother? Would you rather NOT have her at the wedding than have your brother attend? Invite your brother and his fiance, because it is important for him to be at your wedding. In 20 years, you'll all still be in eachother's lives. Get used to it.

Well you stated that you just fairly did not wish him to come back and he did not wish you to understand wherein he lived then why move to the entire situation to name him. Just go away it by myself. Why make it uncomfortable for either one of you. It's seen that he does not wish to be afflicted together with his ex-other halves household so simply allow it move and if he ever stated whatever like when you obtained married then simply inform him that you simply assumed he would not of desired to head and also you did not wish to place him in a awkward function and if that does not paintings positioned the blame off to your sister and say that you just did not wish to make it uncomfortable in your sister and him. Just go away it at that undeniable and practical. If he feels dangerous then simply inform him that you just proposal he might understand approximately it (the marriage ceremony)via your nephew. I wish it really works for you! Good success to your marriage ceremony!

I didn't read your details, because the answer is simple... a married or engaged couple is a matched set. Unless they are separated or divorcing, you invite both. Always.