Does it bother you when people get close to your kids?

I was at a grocery store the other day, and my one and a half year old was sitting in the shopping cart seat. I went to the front of the cart to put my groceries up on the conveyor (I'm 9 months pregnant, I can barely lean over the side of the cart, much less lean over my daughter as well) and while I was doing this, the older woman in line behind me got extremely close to my daughter while putting her own groceries up on the conveyor. I'm not talking about coming within a four-foot radius, I'm talking about this woman being right up against the shopping cart handle. Her arm was literally inches from my daughter's hands, and her hip was brushing against my daughter's shoes. It made me very angry, so I said to my daughter (who was staring at the buckle on the lady's purse strap) "No, you can't grab the lady's purse even if she is too close to you." Obviously this was for the lady, not for my daughter. Then the woman started moving her groceries up on the conveyor because it hadn't moved yet, putting them within reach of my daughter, and I had to tell her not to touch. When the person in front of me finally finished, I moved the cart away saying "Let's get you away from the obnoxious old lady now."

Now I know that that might have been a bit of a hormonal moment there. But it seriously bothers me when people invade my daughter's personal space. I don't like strangers touching her or getting close to her, or even talking to her without talking to me first. Do any of you feel the same way, or is this just my pregnancy making me irritable?

2010-09-12T03:15:19Z

There's a question about a 12-year-old selling drugs to a guy who drugs his dog, but I'm accused of trolling because I'm curious if other parents dislike strangers invading their kids' personal space? Okay..

Like I said, this woman was literally brushing up against my daughter. While I might not have been exactly tactful, it blows my mind that people think it's okay to get that close to others, even if (especially if) it's a child.

2010-09-12T03:23:44Z

Leigh: I was raised to respect people's personal space. I grew up being taught that it was never okay to push, touch, or bump people if there was a way not to. It's just disrespectful, my whole family is like that. I don't think that this woman was obnoxious because she *got* that close to my daughter, I think she was obnoxious for *staying* that close to her, especially after I had already commented on it. And I feel like it was just stupid of her to move her groceries even closer to a toddler than they already were.

None of you first few answerers actually answered my question; does that mean you'd be okay with some strange woman rubbing against your kid in a checkout line, rather than waiting two minutes for the line to move?

?2010-09-12T03:18:54Z

Favorite Answer

I feel the same way, my daughter is 7 now but when she was about 5 we were walking through our local shopping centre when this guy hit my girl with his shopping bag!!! I went ballistic!!! all because he didn't care about those around him and was too busy charging through the centre. Now my girl isn't small for the age she is lovely and tall and on that day she was wearing a bright red coat, you couldn't have missed her.

I get that way on public transport and the supermarket, too many adults think that kids should move out of the way for them but what is that going to teach the children.

I agree with talking issue also, I teach my girl not to talk to strangers but when we are sitting on a bench or something and a stranger will make a comment to my girl i'm not happy, because my girl is not rude so will then reply and before i know it she is having a conversation with someone I don't know.

I'm probably being over protective and paranoid but you see far too many horror stories on the news and you just can't ignore them can you.

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Tweety852010-09-12T05:34:40Z

I agree with the majority here and am saying you overreacted. You chose to take your daughter to a PUBLIC place (most likely crowded) where most people are on the go. Checkout lines are very narrow, there is limited room, and lines can be long. All the lady was doing was putting her purchases on a conveyor belt, big deal. She is not going to slow herself and the line behind you/her down to accommodate you and your daughter and shouldn't be expected to. Next time, move your cart/daughter over to the front of the line where the empty grocery bags are and stand behind her. Or leave her at home where she can remain in her safe sheltered bubble *sarcasm*. The world does not revolve around you and your daughter.
Your comments were also uncalled and all it does is showcase your immaturity and spitefulness. That poor lady was the victim of this whole tirade. I don't think you are a troll but I think you have some personal issues you need to work though.

20

KC2010-09-12T03:36:57Z

"Her arm was literally inches from my daughter's hands, and her hip was brushing against my daughter's shoes"

If that had read: "her face was right in my daughter's face and she was touching her cheeks", then I would agree. But, sorry, I think your hormones were coming into play here and you majorly over reacted. She was just putting her groceries onto the conveyor belt. If you had so much of a problem with it, why didn't you re-position your own cart away from her?

The fact you called her obnoxious was appalling. She was hardly posing as a threat to your daughter now, was she?

If I were in that situation, I would take control rather than expect a stranger to read my mind. MOVE your cart next time, rather than expect the person to do it.

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Anonymous2010-09-12T03:43:47Z

...Did you really feel that this elderly lady had intended to do something to your daughter? Right there in line?

I wouldn't have considered what she did creepy at all.

Think now about how closely you want to monitor your daughter's space. If you keep discouraging interaction with other people, she will not lead a very social life. And babies who are touched more/hugged more by others grow up to be more caring/warm children.

To be honest, I would have been very upset if you did that to me. I love children (I keep considering teaching Elementary Education later on in life)...but that is an act that would have discouraged me quite a bit. I probably would have teared up a bit, though I am somewhat sensitive and am about to start my period...

Next time, maybe say something to the lady. Small talk. She'll stand up and listen to you, rather than bend over near your daughter. She may even tell you that your child is adorable or reminds her of her granddaughter.

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~Me~2010-09-12T07:59:46Z

It would bother me if someone touched my child without asking. But if I was in line and a woman was putting groceries up on the conveyor to be checked out, it wouldn't bother me.

I LOVE when people say nice sweet things to my child! I think it's heaven when someone sees a baby or young child and smiles at them and me. It's an unspoken gesture of "Wow, your child is so cute and isn't life great with new babies and little kids in it?"

I would never say "look at that rude woman" to my child. Children learn things from adults. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, sibling, aunt/uncle or the child's babysitter, everything that is said to them they take in. It is better to be positive and say nice things then to be negative.

Remember one day you'll be the old lady trying to check out. Your kids will be all grown and on their own. You'll be missing your kids and looking forward to spending time with grandkids. When you see a baby or a toddler, thinking of your own children when they were young, you'll want to smile and ask the parent permission if you can talk to or "touch" their baby.

Karma has a way of biting you. Be careful what you do today and treat others how you'd like to be treated.

NO it wouldn't bother me. If they touched my child in an inappropriate manner yes it would. If anything I would have helped the older lady. We all age and one day I'll be old. I pray that there will be kind people to me when I am trying to shop and check out. Not someone who gets upset because I come to close to their child!

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