All the googling I've done pretty much turns up legal issues or whatever "research" I find focuses on placating the angry non-custodial parent.
I just want to know if there's research on whether children do better in "every other day &every other weekend" or "1 week at a time" custody or whatever, assuming that parents' problems are not an issue.
thanks for your help
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
http://estarconmishijos.iespana.es/research%20joint%20custody.htm has some places to start...
MS
I don't know what "research" says, but I do think children benefit from stability. Towards that end, I do think that when parents split up, they should find a way to keep the child/children in a single location--and the PARENTS do the "bouncing around."
One way of doing this is to have two homes--one for the parents, one for the children. The parents move in and out of the children's house when it is their "week" to be with the kids (or month, or what-have-you) and stay in the other home (perhaps a two bedroom apartment in which each parent has their own room, or a separate studio apartment for each parent--depending on finances) when it's their week/month/weekend "off." Even though the parents would be sharing these homes, they'd never be in them together at the same time, so they should be able to be adults and sort out a shared arrangement. If they constantly fight about who bought toilet paper or what have you, they should sign up for a grocery delivery service and have staples delivered regularly, and split the cost.
If either parent remarries, well, the deal is that the new spouse has got to be onboard with this arrangement--the children do NOT move; the parents do. And it isn't negotiable.
Seems only fair to me--the kids didn't ask for a home disruption, after all. They shouldn't have to move from schools and friends and their own comfort zone or otherwise forced to suffer because Ma and Da don't get along!
Violet
The best arrangement is whatever the parents are happiest with and whatever is the most stable and predictable for the kids. If parents can agree and cooperate on how they raise their children, that's more than half the battle. It's difficult.
I do think that keeping kids in their own home and neighborhood is best. That doesn't mean they don't go to the noncustodial parent's house; it just means the parents don't sell their original house and move the kids just to divide the assets when they divorce. I also think more frequent, shorter visits with the noncustodial parent are better than infrequent longer visits. Seeing each other more often helps keep the parent "in the loop" as to what is going on in their kids' life and keeps the kids more comfortable being with that parent.
Mommy of 5
The reason you aren't finding it, is because 1 most aren't looking for the best interest of the child and 2 not all children are alike.
This is just a personal opinion, but I think a child does best when parents can agree without bringing the courts into it at all. The parents know their own situation and know their child best.
My oldest son sees his dad every Wednesday, every other weekend, 1/2 of summer, Christmas Eve, Halloween, etc, etc all on our own. No court order for this visitation. This set up works best for my son, his dad, and myself. Everyone is happy and everyone gets what they want.
2010
My parents shared custody over my two sisters and i. we all flew (for free - step dads a pilot) every weekend to my dads... since i was 3. till i was 18. i loved it very much, but i had sisters go with me so it was very fun! but sometimes my dad drove and stayed at our house (our parents got along great - still do) they just married at the wrong time... weren't ready for the commitment and life style changes! but my mom let us chose as we got older when we wanted to go and see dad. Now, i live with my dad and he has legal gaurdianship over me and my mom doesn't mind at all. it's like they aren't even divorced.