I dont think my boyfriend loves me?
Ill make this as short as possible, but I dont think my boyfriend of almost a year really loves me at all. I think he used to, but things have completely changed. He is very faithful to our relationship and he buys me pretty much anything I ask for, but thats the only thing that seems right about it. On the other hand he in the past was phyiscally abusive to me (but has stopped) and extremely verbally abusive. He says he hates me, f you, your a b word.. all the time! I ask him to not say those things I understand hes mad but I just feel like you dont talk to someone you love like that. He also always accuses me of cheating on him and lying (I would never) .. Im typing this trying to hold back tears because I honestly feel like I try to be the best girlfriend to him I can, but the verbal abuse is pushing me away. Tonight, after a fight I told him I just wanted some space (just to clear my mind and take time apart to ourselves so neither of us says anything we dont mean) .. I only do this in hopes it strengthens our relationship and he hangs up on me and texts me back "take your space you b, f you i dont want to hear any of your s h i t anymore". Its just so hurtful, I try to hard to keep our relationship together and he never makes comprises or meets me halfway. I honestly feel like its all me keeping this relationship together. Im the one always running back to fix things ..if it were up to him he would never try to work it out. It just really sucks, how much I love him but I dont feel like he feels the exact same (although he does say he loves me daily). Im starting not to believe it anymore. If he loved me wouldnt he respect me enough to not talk to me or treat me that way? Wouldnt he want to do anything to make us work? Its no talking to him because he just shuts me out and says he doesnt care all the time. I am probably answering my own questions here, but I just want other opinions.. because I love him so much but I dont want to keep leading myself on thinking itll ever change, when it probably wont :(
In the beginning of our relationship he was the sweetest, most caring person ever. If we ever had a fight he would want to fix it, he wouldnt just let us not fix it. he would be the one running back to me. And he never ever called me names or talked to me so disrespectfully.
Im not happy because he doesnt seem happy with me no matter what i do, and I really want him to be happy, even if it isnt with me. its just so hard to let him go. But its probably best. I know time heals everything ..