I'm stuck in the middle... Mom vs. Fiance?
Here is a little background:
I am 21 and my fiancé is 24. We are expecting a little girl in early June, and we are both very excited for her to be here! However, things aren’t all great. You see, my mom is a little controlling, to say the least. She has a very explosive temper, and has been abusive for the past decade or so, ever since she divorced my dad. Things just haven’t been the same since then, and her meeting her long-distance boyfriend (and I mean long… He lives in Belgium, and she is always lonely and depressed). Anyway, she has been very overwhelming to past boyfriends, and has driven many of them away. I’ve been afraid of her doing this to this guy. He is truly my Prince Charming. I know he is the one for me. I’ve never loved any one so much! But, he has displeased my mother, who I still live with for now, and I have to deal with it.
Because we are expecting a baby, we are having a baby shower. Well, make that 3. Yeah… It would be great, except the only reason we are having so many is because my mother would not invite my now-fiancé’s family, even though he offered to pay compensation for them being there. She said she did not want anyone there she doesn’t know, even though she should probably get to know her granddaughter’s other half of the family. So, instead of his family and other people he is close with being completely left out of the picture, his mother and him stepped up to the plate and threw one on March 18th. (As stated before, my parents are divorced and cannot be in the same room, so that split baby showers already.) Well, what my mother was unaware of was that my guy planned on proposing to me at the baby shower my mother wanted to throw. That way, both my family and his would be there for the special moment. However, since my mom would not allow his family to be invited, he did it at the baby shower he and his mother threw instead. It was an amazing moment, and my dad was even there! My mom and sister were invited, but my mom declined because she didn’t want to be around people she didn’t know. But, what I didn’t know at the time was that my guy talked to my dad about it so he knew when it would happen, and did not do the same for my mother. He asked him on December 9th. He asked my mother October 19th, but my mother said that it would be a bad idea. That did not go over well. Now, my mom has banned him from visiting me and being involved with anything with my family. She has poisoned their opinion of him by telling them that he is controlling and manipulative over me, and is just an all around bad guy. He is definitely not any of those, and he has been nothing but an awesome guy to my family, helping them with whatever they may need. She has turned my family against other family members before, and she holds grudges like crazy. I completely understand why she is hurt, as she feels like she and my family weren’t a part of our big moment. But, spreading lies and screaming in my face, pushing me, and bad-mouthing the father of my child is not helping me in this situation. I don’t condone him not talking to her about proposing to me, but he thought he was doing the right, traditional thing by asking my father. She told me that she had a “sick feeling” that he would propose on our 2 year anniversary back in February, and ever since she said that, he has been hurt and did not want to tell her about it because he didn’t want to risk her ruining the surprise. He wants to sit down, buy her dinner and apologize and talk things over with her, but she refuses to listen.
I’m not sure what to do here. I love him, and I love my mother. I want things to be okay, especially before I move in with him. My mother gets angry with me for moving my belongings over there, but she won’t let anyone help me move my things, and I’ve got 2 months before I have a baby to worry about. I don’t want to have to worry about having a newborn and moving at the same time. I feel like I’m stuck between my mom and my man, and time is running out.
Sorry this is so long, I've just had this on my mind and nowhere to vent it out. Help me, please!