betrayal? I have been betrayed by so many family and friends that I can't even name them all. It hurts like hell but I have forgiven each one of them. There are a couple of them that I don't want in my life because they are toxic and haven't even tried to change. All I know is that unforgiveness is a cancer and it can turn you into a bitter, lonely person. Forgiveness is the only way.
Tell me if you have been betrayed and how you dealt with it.
Many thanks
daisy
Favorite Answer
Depending on the person and situation, it can either be a mild shock or a very deep and lasting injury. I had to escape from the bad one, but others I turn my back on.
Forgiveness is necessary for even the smallest infractions...for our own mental well being.
?
I think that everyone at some point in their life will be betrayed by someone in some manner. If you have been betrayed you go through a period of pain that can last for years. But, eventually you get caught up in other things or situations and comes a point when you don't even think about it anymore....or if you do it has somehow lost it's importance with the passing of time. I don't think you even need to forgive if you don't want to. At the end of your life it will make little difference anyway.. The best thing to do is to put it behind you and just move on.
Christine H
Yes for sure I have been betrayed in different ways over the years.
The only healthy way I know how to deal with it is to forgive myself for being such an eejit and to downgrade the actions of others to that of totally unimportant ants that i should have known better than to trust and love.
I understand another answerer's ire about the financial side of things as I have encountered that as well. However, if anything it has taught me that I am both blessed and a survivor. I don't need much in the way of material things to make me happy but I am supremely grateful for everything I do have..
I have peace of mind and I doubt that my betrayers will ever aspire to that!
?
The most hurtful things that happened to me--the ones that were hard to forgive--were from my own mother & siblings.
I learned 'The Secret' just a few days before Oprah aired it on TV. I came to this conclusion by writing my own bio that will probably never be published, as I now see no need for it to be.
I also got full-closure by listening to a radio story where a woman said 'my ma tried her best, but her best was just so TERRIBLE'. I think it was b/c I felt validated then.
I say forgive, but you don't have to forget.
I now think of those upsetting things as things that helped me learn a lesson in life, thus helped me become the person I am now.
On Oprah's 'The Secret' episode, they said be happy for the situations, as some people were not able to experience them & thus were not able to grow from them. You have an insight that alot of people don't have.
I think that forgiveness is necessary so it doesn't eat you up, but the 'toxic' people should not be a part of your life b/c they will only bring you pain.
I think all these Answers are good ones.
Stella Mk 2
Un-forgiveness hasn't made me bitter, or lonely. I'm a very happy, healthy and fulfilled person, but forgiveness isn't on my menu at all.
My ex husband betrayed me in the worst possible way. After 10 years of marriage, with children of 4 and 1, I found out that he'd been having a 2 year affair with my best friend. The two years included the time when I became pregnant, and giving birth to my son. I thought I had a great marriage, and a great friendship with that woman. Finding out about that - and hearing him say "She was like a virgin" - was like a huge knife in my heart. Forgiveness wasn't going to happen !!
I divorced him, and got on with my life. I have always been civil towards him at family functions, and have never bad-mouthed him to my children. But forgiveness would indicate that what he did to me was OK....well it wasn't OK.
He is now 63, looks 103, is an alcoholic and has emphysema. The house that I gave him in our settlement , he lost through bad financial management, and his business went broke through his stupidity. I think I know who is bitter, lonely and poisoned.