What to do with a sister-in-law who hates me?

Question

My brother's wife has a problem with other women. It's a fact that she has admitted to but apparently does not want to change. She also has a history of mental issues and often is not consistent with her medication.
Last Thanksgiving she decided to pick a fight with my parents (right before she was supposed to go to their house for dinner) for not respecting her enough. I intervened and tried to smooth things over because it was a holiday but she called me some unpleasant things and accused me of trying to destroy her family. Then, she lied to my brother about what was said and now he will not speak to me nor will they allow their son to even know who I am. She literally told my nephew that I am evil and he is no longer allowed at his grandparents' house because there's a chance he might see me there. 
It's a huge mess. To give you some history, the year SIL married my brother she gave my mother the silent treatment for six months for buying her a shirt that was a "large" because she said it was insulting. Prior to that she had a huge fight with my younger sister who was trying to do a nice thing by selling them an airline gift certificate at a discount for their honeymoon but SIL decided to back out of the deal. When my sister couldn't buy it back right away, SIL called her everyday to hound her calling her some awful names and even calling my sister's husband at work. 
While I would really like to have a good relationship with her I don't see it happening but my brother and I were close at one time so the fact that he believes I was so rude to his wife hurts the most. I also don't want my nephew to miss out on time with his grandparents (my parents) but they have made it quite clear (to everyone involved) that I am always welcome at their house. Any suggestions on how to deal with this or should I just give up?

Joe · Accepted Answer

She sounds like a nasty witch (replace the w with a b). Truth be told, I don't know why your brother married someone like that.

First of all, you don't need to take this crap from her. I know you don't want to upset your brother, but your brother should worry about his wife upsetting his entire family. She sounds like a drama queen from what you say. If she's rude to you, be rude back. If she wants to fight, let it happen. I know everyone in America is obsessed with obliterating violence and never fighting... but that's just idiotic. You need to fight sometimes. As long as you don't kill each other. If you keep taking this crap from her, it will NEVER stop you understand? Intimidate her. Tell her she should know her boundaries. Tell her "you can rant at me all you want but don't go behind my back talking **** to my nephew and spreading drama like a high school prom b!*@h."

If she tells on your brother about it, then she's a snitch. And if you were close to your brother, at least he should understand that you don't mean ill will. But don't push it too far. Because she is still your SIL. If my brother got himself a wife and she came to my family to disrespect us, I wouldn't take that from her and tell her to piss off immediately. If my brother has a problem with me doing that, then my brother can come talk to me and we can discuss it. But if my brother is being a little pansy and refuse to confront, then I will be the man and set her straight.

I guess it's a little different with me and you but I don't take lightly what other people say about my family. My parents first of all sacrificed so much for me and my brother and went through hell just to put food on the table. We had nothing and they brought us from the projects to the nice suburbs. So if anyone disrespected my parents or my family, or even gave them a bad look, I would have no problem doing things I would regret.

But if you don't defend your family, that wife of his is going to manipulate him against the family (as she's already doing by telling him nasty things about you). Talk to her. Be polite at first but if she is pushing boundaries, let her know immediately and if she pushes it way too far tell her she is not welcome at your house anymore. If she wants to talk to you, your brother can call you first. Honestly though, it should be your brother asking questions on Yahoo trying to figure out what to do. It's up to him to keep good relationship between his wife and his family.

Anonymous · Answer

Your brother sounds like he is the chick in that relationship.. Well eventually he will man up.. Might take some time.. But I wouldn't sweat it to much you can't make your brother grow a pair.. And he is clearly lacking..

bad girl · Answer

Let it be for a while. Time heals all wounds, time wounds all heels. It may take some time but your brother will experience her venom and rethink his connection with his family.

John Van · Answer

Ignore her. Ya dont need her love bra you need to get laid and this ***** is carampin yo style, tell that hoe to talk to your hand because ya face is gonna be sucking her sisters face, preace im audi 5000

Arren · Answer

just simply tall to her and work things out. :)) if that doesnt work. might as well drown her to death or lock her in the closet XD

What to do with a sister-in-law who hates me?

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