I cannot view your question at this time... I don't know if you bother viewing mine; We have been on and off again in spurts but when I see your poems are sad it really hurts... I no longer look for things that refer to me, I no longer need this forum to see...si! I need friends I've made and now they're known by the numbers saved in my cell phone. I will not deny I make some dumb mistakes but I will go the distance that it takes to run the gauntlet as if I were a knight or knightess- my own word, is that all right? The person who you're looking for not found- I would place a wager that they're still around. The only thing I fear is that I'll fail to live long enough to write our tale- I guess I could just change all names and then I could go back to being Yesu Ben.
?2012-11-19T07:29:36Z
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Life is a one way street.... finding a friend on the road is merely chance ...... walking together is the challenge
Funny, when I see ''You cannot view your question at this time.. I always think ''O, NO what have I done now .. and I slap my wrist I've made some dumb mistakes but that's me I can't write a poem without three or more .. I as funny when you were Ben and Ben was you .. I Still don't know how you do that .. Great poem LC , I need friends I've made and now they're known by the MISTAKES .. and I love them x @ you and others xxx
HA<<HA,,,A nice funny poem to wake up to. It's wonderful,thanks for making us see humor in poetry. which should be the point more often.some though seem to be grouchos. byeeexxx
I enjoy 'occasional verse' - poetry which is commitedly, and facetiously, upoetic. I took considerable pleasure in the nonchalance of this piece - its chattiness and the way that it doesn't try too hard because it could care less.
It is a delicious piece of casual yackety. So I found it even more challenging than I might have that the metre keeps breaking down so spectacularly.
Your first three lines are regular, and your fourth very nearly so: my ear has got used to heroic couplets. When the metre breaks, it is like having a straw poked in my ear.
I'm not saying that poking your readers' ear with a straw is always wrong - but it seems out of place in such lightweight - fun - poetry (even just a little bit mean).
I wish you'd fix the metre. But if you won't, it's still a decent piece of work.