Forced to have intercourse as a child, why?

Question

As an only child of a single mother we moved from apartment to apartment for most of my life not always in the best neighborhoods. Since my mom was always away waiting tables, drinking and smoking I spent a lot of time alone, I was use to her having a new boyfriend all the time and to be honest with you I never knew who would come out of her bedroom when I got up on the morning. I seldom had clean clothes to wear and most of the time never even owned underwear unless my grand parents got if for me for Christmas. 

When I was 11 years old I was forced to have intercourse with two older boys in our apartment building, this went on repeatedly for about three or four months when we finally moved away. I never told anyone and it was an awful experience. Each time it happened I never even put up a fight because I just wanted it to be over. 

Today I'm a young man about to turn 18 and I feel so screwed up. I have never been able to have a girlfriend and my grades are terrible. Once I started going through puberty as a young boy and my hormones kicked in the nightmare only pickup where it left off. I found myself wanting to have meaningless sex with strange men and I'm never satisfied. I found that if I loitered around men's rooms and made eye contact with the men as they were coming and going it was just a matter of time before I would meet someone. 

I hate myself for what I am doing to myself but I cant find the strength to stop. It's a risky, hopeless cycle. I feel like I never had a choice on deciding if I wanted to be gay. Even I had I never had a chance on who I wanted to give my self too. Everyone my age seems to be having a normal life but me and everyone is starting to wonder what is wrong with me. I am so ****** up. 

Has anyone ever gone through something like this? Is there anywhere I can go to get help?  I just want to be normal. I have had thoughts of killing myself. Please help me.

Dino · Answer

Hi George,

I am so sorry about everything that has happened to you. That didn't exactly happen to me but I was sexually abused by my older brother from a young age and I went through the stage of having bad grades and being distance and quiet from everyone. I didn't tell anyone about it for about 2/3 years and they were very dark years for me. I started counseling when I was 18 and it helped me a lot. As you're 18 depending where you are you should be free. Things will get better the memories will never go away and the healing process is long and hard but counseling really helps. I'm not gunna tell you to forget about what happened or to try move on cause I hate it when people say that to me. If you need someone to talk to bout anything my email is kiera1993@rocketmail.com The other one is not working or email me on this which you can do by clicking on my name I honestly don't mind talking to you if it will help.

Anonymous · Answer

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RE:
Forced to have intercourse as a child, why?
As an only child of a single mother we moved from apartment to apartment for most of my life not always in the best neighborhoods. Since my mom was always away waiting tables, drinking and smoking I spent a lot of time alone, I was use to her having a new boyfriend all the time and to be honest...

Turtle luver · Answer

There are various walk-in centres that provide group or individual counselling for sexual abuse. Since I do not know your location, google "sexual abuse conselling" with the name of your city and do a little researching. If you need help with this feel free to email me and I will find you some help. :) these services should be free of charge for you.

 I am very sorry for everything that's happened to you as a child, and you are very strong for what you have endured. Keep holding on and don't give up, you'll only have to wait a little longer.

? · Answer

I smell a rat in this one! When she said that if he didn't believe that this was his child, that he doesn't deserve to be the father, He should have realized he was being trapped. As for legally forcing her to have a DNA test done on the child, I do not believe that is possible unless he was being asked to pay support for the child. Even then, he may not be able to have testing done. This is a way that women get men to support them and the child that belongs to "Who Knows?". I would suggest that your friend let her go and keep his pen is covered.

Ben · Answer

Hi there! Sorry to hear that. I guess you have friends around you that can help to encourage you. Try to ask them and be open for sure they will understand you if they are really a true friend of yours. Forget about the past. Try to focus on what you have right now think about the future, we all have a life, you should enjoy it and live to it. You need a real friend man. It will help a lot I promise you that.  Are you online?

seaben@rocketmail.com

Forced to have intercourse as a child, why?

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