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George asked in HealthMen's Health · 8 years ago

Forced to have intercourse as a child, why?

As an only child of a single mother we moved from apartment to apartment for most of my life not always in the best neighborhoods. Since my mom was always away waiting tables, drinking and smoking I spent a lot of time alone, I was use to her having a new boyfriend all the time and to be honest with you I never knew who would come out of her bedroom when I got up on the morning. I seldom had clean clothes to wear and most of the time never even owned underwear unless my grand parents got if for me for Christmas.

When I was 11 years old I was forced to have intercourse with two older boys in our apartment building, this went on repeatedly for about three or four months when we finally moved away. I never told anyone and it was an awful experience. Each time it happened I never even put up a fight because I just wanted it to be over.

Today I'm a young man about to turn 18 and I feel so screwed up. I have never been able to have a girlfriend and my grades are terrible. Once I started going through puberty as a young boy and my hormones kicked in the nightmare only pickup where it left off. I found myself wanting to have meaningless sex with strange men and I'm never satisfied. I found that if I loitered around men's rooms and made eye contact with the men as they were coming and going it was just a matter of time before I would meet someone.

I hate myself for what I am doing to myself but I cant find the strength to stop. It's a risky, hopeless cycle. I feel like I never had a choice on deciding if I wanted to be gay. Even I had I never had a chance on who I wanted to give my self too. Everyone my age seems to be having a normal life but me and everyone is starting to wonder what is wrong with me. I am so ****** up.

Has anyone ever gone through something like this? Is there anywhere I can go to get help? I just want to be normal. I have had thoughts of killing myself. Please help me.

11 Answers

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  • 8 years ago

    Hi George,

    I am so sorry about everything that has happened to you. That didn't exactly happen to me but I was sexually abused by my older brother from a young age and I went through the stage of having bad grades and being distance and quiet from everyone. I didn't tell anyone about it for about 2/3 years and they were very dark years for me. I started counseling when I was 18 and it helped me a lot. As you're 18 depending where you are you should be free. Things will get better the memories will never go away and the healing process is long and hard but counseling really helps. I'm not gunna tell you to forget about what happened or to try move on cause I hate it when people say that to me. If you need someone to talk to bout anything my email is kiera1993@rocketmail.com The other one is not working or email me on this which you can do by clicking on my name I honestly don't mind talking to you if it will help.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    Forced to have intercourse as a child, why?

    As an only child of a single mother we moved from apartment to apartment for most of my life not always in the best neighborhoods. Since my mom was always away waiting tables, drinking and smoking I spent a lot of time alone, I was use to her having a new boyfriend all the time and to be honest...

    Source(s): forced intercourse child why: https://biturl.im/QlfvX
  • 8 years ago

    There are various walk-in centres that provide group or individual counselling for sexual abuse. Since I do not know your location, google "sexual abuse conselling" with the name of your city and do a little researching. If you need help with this feel free to email me and I will find you some help. :) these services should be free of charge for you.

    I am very sorry for everything that's happened to you as a child, and you are very strong for what you have endured. Keep holding on and don't give up, you'll only have to wait a little longer.

  • 5 years ago

    I smell a rat in this one! When she said that if he didn't believe that this was his child, that he doesn't deserve to be the father, He should have realized he was being trapped. As for legally forcing her to have a DNA test done on the child, I do not believe that is possible unless he was being asked to pay support for the child. Even then, he may not be able to have testing done. This is a way that women get men to support them and the child that belongs to "Who Knows?". I would suggest that your friend let her go and keep his pen is covered.

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  • 8 years ago

    Hi there! Sorry to hear that. I guess you have friends around you that can help to encourage you. Try to ask them and be open for sure they will understand you if they are really a true friend of yours. Forget about the past. Try to focus on what you have right now think about the future, we all have a life, you should enjoy it and live to it. You need a real friend man. It will help a lot I promise you that. Are you online?

    seaben@rocketmail.com

  • 8 years ago

    GET YOUR *** TO THE CLOSEST COUNSELOR YOU CAN LIKE NOW

    seriously talk to someone this is YOUR life and you have so much potential!!! and im not even saying this to make you feel better a person himself can do anything he or she puts his mind to. dont let an incident that happened in 1% of your life equate to how you feel 100% of your life. If you truly want this **** to stop you needa talk to a counselor psychiaritrist ASAP no excuses!! I feel for you truly but im not going to sympathize for you because you have enough of that what you need is change. I dont know how you are or where you live but do not hurt yourself there is no point because if you hurt yourself you can be hurting a future father, a future doctor, or a future whatever. now to sum it up

    YOU ARE WORTH IT NOW DO YOURSELF THE BIGGEST FAVOR EVER AND TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL

    Source(s): i used to ahve social anxiety disorder and attempted to kill myself atleast 3 times. my mother abandoned me and my father rather start a new life. i live with my two grandparents who can barely understand me and am gay. my situation not be as bad as yours but i still am in a situation and if i can get thru it you can too dont cry and ask for sympathy cause thats all youll get only you cna make your life better
  • 8 years ago

    I am moved to tears when I read your story and I am so sorry that you had to endure what happened to you at 11 years old. It looks like the others have provided you with good answers. I hope you are able to find the peace that you so long for. I too will pray for you.

    Ricky

    Source(s): Personal
  • 8 years ago

    I'm so sorry to hear about your story. I think you should see a therapist. They can help you overcome childhood traumas.

  • smit
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Forced To Have Gay Sex

  • 8 years ago

    I am so sorry that your innocence was taken from you, that you were raped and sexually abuse, emotionally and have fought you entire life to free yourself from this self-destructive thinking.

    Your mom did what she need to do to survive but sadly, she placed her needs over you. Positive side--she didn't give you up. She didn't sell you off to molesters as some moms do their children. And you still survived this most psychological damaging circumstance of which you had noting do to with it but were placed in it by the choices your mom made for her and you. So if you feel like hating your mom, you are justified and with therapy, you will learn to overcome and find solace for you broken heart. And, you will also find new direction in your life and this does not mean you becoming gay--"becoming" because you were raped which means you got so messed up that you might feel that you are gay and to find answers to your sexuality, you think you are and that seeking men to sleep around will give you some sort of understanding to why you find men more reachable. Yet, you can assess that you are not gay but are trying to fit in due to the emptiness you carry about feeling loved and wanted by another, you are not gay even if you feel a need to have gay sex "I found myself wanting to have meaningless sex with strange men and I'm never satisfied."

    AS for the girlfriend issue, you are not alone in this one since most guys feel the same about having a male/female relationship and can't seem to find that girl that 'will make them feel manly' so just hold on to that--you are a normal heterosexual otherwise you would embrace me and not ponder the sexual interest you have for a gf. It will take time so don't rush to avoid mistakes or an unwanted pg which would pretty much devastate your life with a baby that will cost you 18 years to pay for (child support is very expansive and guys regret the choice they made that one night).

    Please stop hating and being too hard on yourself since the past is not more and the future is really up to you--the future is yours to write and you should not base who you are by what you have done or has happened to you (in all aspects of your life--abuse, sexual abuse, etc.). Moreover, your life, as difficult as it has been does not have to be this cycle of self-destructive behaviors or thoughts because it is the past and you have overcome (although you are still feeling trapped by the past) and you still have many opportunities to become the person you want to be.

    Trust me, not everyone is happy. I work with lots and lots of people and even though they "have it all" they still have personal issue--marriage, family, upbringing, money, love, hate, etc as a matter of fact, if you take time and read some of the posts, you will find others like you--coping, surviving, seeking, wondering, dealing with issues of self. So for those who wonder 'what is wrong' with you, let them wonder but one day they will see you for who you are--the person you chose to become and if they ask about a gf, just say you are waiting for the one you plan to marry and are not interested in going from one girl to another at this time and if they continue to wonder, let them since you will have told them your are waiting. Sex, is not a happy life but they think if you have a gf, you will be in a 'happy relationship' so don't worry about their opinions since the only one that matters is yours. Understand that what has occurred to you has affected your relationships with women or girlfriends but once you enter therapy, it will make sense and you will move on.

    Let's focus on your grades since these will guide you further into higher education thus leading you to a promising career of which you have control over to make (this will help you feel more human; gaining control over the decisions you can now make will make you feel that you have some say in what you do). A sense of control is part of being human so you will gain some degree of self-awareness and personal growth and development--the person you will become.

    DEATH BY SUICIDE IS NEVER AN ENDING TO LIFE AND IT IS NEVER A SOLUTION TO LIFE'S DIFFICULTIES--NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP IT IS. Please don't end your life for it is full of potential and only you can create the future you want.

    Please seek therapy. Churches have counselors and some charge a small amount so look up a local church and see if you can get the help that will benefit you (no, they won't preach) or go to your local university since they do offer therapy for free.

    My best to you

    I want you to listen to I am forgiven by Sanctus Real and to Remind me who I am by Jason Gray as these two songs will lift your spirit up.

    Did you see how perfect strangers care for you through these posts? You have a bright future.

    Source(s): a Christian and a Psychologist
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