I recently just broke up with my boyfriend I was living with from September 2013 to January 2014. When I moved back home with my parents 3 hrs away from where I was living, I found out I was pregnant. I contacted my ex as soon as I found out but he insisted I was lying, denied the baby, said it wasn't his. He also happened to have a new gf within a week of me moving out and even put HER on the phone to tell me my baby is not his, when I know for a fact it is. I finally gave up on him. That aside I've known for several months, even before I was pregnant that my family is moving to Minnesota. I currently live in Arizona and im 11 weeks pregnant. My family is set to move in 2 to 3 months. The father of my baby lives here but 1. I have no means of support and living here if I stay behind and 2. I have no reason 2 stay behind because my ex isn't involved. What do I do? Can I move? What if he tries to get custody when I move? Child support? DNA test? I'm so confused.
Tygerlyli2014-03-07T03:53:31Z
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It doesn't sound like he is in a good spot in his life to be emotionally or mentally supportive, and pregnancy isn't easy. More than anything, you will need support right now, and it sounds like your family can offer that to you while he won't. I would move with them. I think it would be better for your child to have a good support network, than it would be to stay behind and hope that his dad steps up and does the right thing by him while you struggle.
You will actually be in a better position to remain in full custody if you move before you have your baby. If the baby is born and lives in Minnesota, you will go through the courts in Minnesota, and they would me more likely to favor you, the one who lives there, while commuting would be a pain for him.
In most cases, for a parent to have visitation, it is their responsibility to pick up or transport the child, and not yours. So if your custody agreement says he gets to be with the kid for Christmas, he would have to come pick him up in Minnesota and drop him back off.
When the baby is born (or a little before he is born ), I would consider retaining a lawyer who can help you get the child support which is in the best interest of your child. If he is still denying it, you guys will probably do a DNA test through the courts. A lawyer should be able to walk you through everything.
I wouldn't try to keep him out of your child's life, but you main responsibilities are to do what's right by you child then doing what's right by you. Staying with your family, who can help support you both mentally, emotionally, and financially is in both you and your baby's best interests.
You do what you need to do to provide for the baby alone, first and foremost. After the baby is born you go to court for support and let it play out. He will have to go back to court for visitation rights, if he dossen;t want the kid in the first place. He most likely won't do it. Probably won't even show up for support either so don't plan on any help and don't worry about what he is doing.