ARE KIDS ALL HE WANTS?!?

Question

I ve been dating a guy since Nov.  We seem to enjoy hanging out.  He said he wants a family of his own someday.  I thought I did too.  But I ve given it some serious thought.  I do not want kids  I m already 33.  He has been married 2 times.  Still legally married to the second wife.  Pays her $1,000 a month until Dec 2018.

He also has this female friend that has 6 kids, by different fathers.  Goes to facility for Methadone. She also takes illegal drugs.  She doesn t work, and is a bad mother.  He takes her to appointments and then takes her out to eat. I don t really like him associating with her.  But, he won t stop contact her!!  
       I feel as if all he wants from me is to give him kids,  like I m a baby factory.   He said that he couldn t guarantee that if I wasn t physically able to get pregnant, that he would dump me.  I don t know what do about the things I mentioned above.

Anonymous · Answer

You've been confronted with a deal breaker.  He wants children, and your don't.  There is no compromise on this; you can't have half a child.

I have no idea if that's all he wants, or if he's mature enough or well-heeled enough to care for children if he spawned any.  His spousal support, he n'er-do-well woman friend, those would be matters of concern (for the first) and another deal-breaker (for me, on the second) because most people pick friends who have a lifestyle or moral code similar to their own.

You ought not have children unless you really want them, so having them to please someone else isn't fair to you. Asking him to give up the idea of having them isn't fair to him.  He isn't the only man in the world.

I don't know why you're even thinking twice about this, with a man you've dated three months.  You have nothing in common.  Be kind about it, but tell him you're moving on.

seedy history · Answer

You've been dating the fellow a few months. He doesn't sound appealing. And he's married. So... why are you dating him?

Here's the truth, he's married and can offer you nothing but illegitimate babies he'll likely ignore before you even give birth. Come on. Do something better with your life.

Anonymous · Answer

Well he's already got kids!!! He is not a keeper. He doesn't commit to relationships. What makes you think he'll be in it for the long haul? Dump him.

Brennen · Answer

Don't stick around this dude, it's gonna be a mess. You don't want kids, he does- move on.

? · Answer

If you want two different things from life why are you still together? Its time to move on.... why are you waiting around for him to dump you?

ARE KIDS ALL HE WANTS?!?

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