How do I get my guy to stop looking at porn?

Unfortunately you have a serious problem not because he likes porn and you don't, but because he expects you to look and act like the girls in porn. A guy who doesn't accept you for who you are and wants to change you is not the right guy for you. Sorry, but you should get out of this relationship and not get married.

He does it behind your back because he knows it bothers you... so obviously doing it while you were home knowing about it would be a bad idea to him, wouldn't it??

you can't make him stop, if he wants to stop he will.

A lot of women don't like their men looking at porn, but IMO if your sex life is still good- and he's not obsessed spending outrageous amounts of time & money looking at it, then I'd not worry so much.

He's a normal guy - he likes naked women, the internet makes it REALLY easy to go look at them.

Perhaps it hurts you because he's not taking your feelings about it into consideration, and he's still doing it even though you asked him not to - but in his mind, he probably sees that as an unreasonable request (like you asked him to stop eating or breathing) which is why he's lying to you about it. He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong.

Either you need to accept that he looks - or you can flip out on him every time you catch him (which will also damage your relationship) - or, if it bothers you THAT MUCH, then you need to find another guy, one who understands more how you feel and is willing to give up (or already has no interest in) porn for you to make you happy.

It is not your mission in life to save every guy from bad things. One thing you can do is tell him, me or the porn. If chooses the porn then know that he values that more than you. The engagment peroid is a time to get to know someone more, and if you know you can't stand him looking at porn, then maybe you should'nt marry. It sure would be better to break a engangment off now, then to divorce when you have kids, a jointly owned house...

I probably won't have a good answer, but I suspect this is a problem with a lot of guys, not necessarily because they're pervs, but because certain things are just addictive. I've gotten addicted to silly things, like going to myspace.com and just checking chicks out. Not trying to contact them or anything, just looking. It's like an addiction that I can't stop.

Sounds like he needs another hobby, like a motorcycle or sportscar, something that he really cares about to take care of and pamper besides you. You may fulfill him in a together sort of way, but he may need some 'me' time doing something else he really likes. Oh well, JMHO.

Its impossible. If he is making some sort of point, then you could talk about it, or you could try re-directing all that extra energy of his, but I doubt it will work. Just ask him to keep it down to a controllable level, and you will be fine. He will grow out of it in 60 years or so. If it gets past an hour a day, then it is a mild addiction. If it gets past two hours a day, then nothing short of professional help will have the slightest impact. Sorry to be so mean, but there you go.

Don't try to be his mother. Maybe you should consider why it bothers you. Heard an ad on the radio this morning that said 90 percent of all men view porn at some time in their life.

Don't get him to stop. It is normal and healthy. In fact, studies show that the more satisfying sex a guy has, the more he will pleasure himself. So maybe take it as a compliment. And maybe the two of you could rent some movies together and make it a couple activity some of the time.

well, what if you did something you considered to be totally harmless, and your partner insisted that you should stop? what would you do?

first off, why are you troubled by it? is it a moral issue for you, like religion? or is it that most common of ailments--jealousy? because if it's jealousy, if it's this idea of "why does he look at them? i don't look like that, and oh my gosh he must not like me enough! and why does he look at THAT type of porn? WE don't have sex like that. EW." then you're going down a well-worn path (one that i'm sure all too many of your girlfriends will support you on), but one that doesn't lead anywhere positive.

what i've often said to women who complain about their men looking at nekkid pictures is, why are you jealous of a piece of paper? (or pictures on a screen, or video.) you are a flesh and blood human being. they are polished photos made for the express purpose of getting someone off.

men look at porn for many of the same reasons women do: curiosity and because it turns them on. add in the fact that porn is a generally acceptable form of masturbatory practice for men, and that men generally are wired to be visually stimulated, and you're setting yourself up as opposing something unnecessarily. making it forbidden just makes you into a mommy figure. (and if he's not into you being a mommy figure, is that what you want?) you're the one telling him "no" when he sees no justification except "it makes her mad." so then he starts acting like a teenage boy, because when mommy says "no," the next step is to hide what you're doing.

are you bothered by self-pleasuring? is that what this is about? because then we're getting even further into the "mommy doesn't like it" path. and believe me, if you set yourself up in that role now, you'll never get out of it. you're trying to control aspects of your fiancé's internal life that you really have no business in.

so, if you have a normal sex life, your options are

1. get into a habit of forbidding him to do little things, and start off on the path of mistrust.

2. watch porn with him.

3. ignore it.

i've done all three. and believe me, 2 and 3 lead to a far more mature relationship with your spouse than 1.

(i shouldn't leave out the idea of "porn addiction." lots of religious types throw this around, but if he's not spending crazy amounts of money he doesn't have, he's not avoiding sex with you, and he isn't spending hours upon hours with the stuff, then all is probably well.)

whos the other 10 %

Pick a better guy.

Porn is bad for everyone involved. What if his tastes escalate and he wants you to follow suit?

Porn is cheating in my opinion.