How do you cope with a stepchild's teenage years??

I think if my OSD were my bio kid, she would be WORSE behaved!! And don't underestimate the power of just talking with them and being there for them to talk to. They may get that glassy, glazed look in their eye, but I do think some of it eventually filters down to them. The big thing is allowing them to make mistakes. No, not standing by and watching them make mistakes, but realizing they are still kids (no matter what THEY think about it) and they are gonna make mistakes, and our job is to help them pick up the pieces when they do... to listen and guide as much as we can, and just be patient with them. There comes a point in time when we are no longer "responsible" for their actions, and they have to suffer and face consequences when they do certain things. There is no getting around that.

It wouldn't be different if she were biologically yours. Teenagers are just kinda prickly & hard to deal with.

You just have to have patience that the lessons learned as a young child will come back to the top when she figures out where she's going. This is the point of being a parent (or step-parent) when you have to say, "We have done a good job, and it will show up in a couple of years". And just be there for her, and continue being the great guardians that you have always been.

I went through this. You have to embrace yourself for the very difficult years ahead. In my situation, it lasted 5 years or so. Then we became really good friends. Try to look at the situation from her angle: your dad is sleeping with some broad who calls herself " a stepmother". You don't like the very idea of it, not just the particular person that she is. On top of that, she constantly tells you what to do and what not to do. WHAT A NIGHTMARE, right? Try to be gentle with her. Do not ever lose patience. WE CAN only teach our children by example, not by our "books of rules". Do you ever help her with school projects? Do you teach her cool things? Do you share your world with her? I am telling you, the toughest thing is to grow up without one (or both) parents. Have compassion. Kindness is contageous.

I can relate to your storey. I/we both had kids for the last 7 years. The best way to deal with step-children is to bite your tongue. Its not the kids fault they have step-moms or dads. I know you feel in your heart to step in and help...but they see it as an intrusion. I know its hard...but its the best way. We are now finally empty nesters and we are enjoying life for the first time..I never thought it would come.

Hang in there...they do eventually grow up :)

Sounds like you're doing and saying all the right things. And she sounds like a typical teen. Remember that one day she's going to mature and realize what a snot she was to you and hopefully she will thank you for being there for her. (I've found it therapeutic to wait until their back is turned then stick your tongue out at her!! Petty, yes, but rewarding without hurting her feelings!!!) Keep up the great parenting work!!

oh that's just all teens....if you had any you'd be on here saying the same thing's..teenagers are like...aliens..or something there's no figuring them out~! And till they get it figured out, just get use to banging your head up against a wall every other day...ugh...i dread those years..yet to come! LOL