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how long should a person wait after a divorce to start dating?

please no depends on the person answers I understand that I just want your opinion

56 Answers

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  • 2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think when you have finally let go of the fact your marriage did not work out and are peace with the fact it didn't work and are not carrying around any ghosts.

    Then you will be ready to put your time and energy into a new relationship or be ready to date. I think if you are not over the past, then it will ruin even fun dates, because your heart just won't be in it.

  • 2 decades ago

    Ask yourself why you want to date. I get concerned that, instead of doing the work to find out how to be a better person and heal from the previous relationship, we just want to get hugged up again. Understandable, but realize there's now a whole bunch of issues that have occured because of the divorce. Why not take a 6 month breather to learn to enjoy your own company? You can also use that time to examine and heal from your own issues. Often, the first few brave souls that date us afterwards our unofficial therapists, soother of wounds, curer of loneliness, etc. If you just have to have company (again, understandable), try group dates like Super Bowl or Oscar parties- much less pressure. Also, you didn't say if you have kids- don't know if the ones in the pic are yours, but that plays a factor, too. No matter how wonderful the new person, they're a potential replacement for mom/dad to the kid(s).

  • 2 decades ago

    Depends on how ok you feel with it yourself.

    My personal situation at this time is I have just broken up with someone after quite an intense 2 year relationship and for me I just cant at the moment, what I need is a social life with friends.

    However there have been times in the past when Ive dated someone more or less straight away and was ok with that.

    Suppose it depends on your own emotional state at the time, if you feel ready then go for it lifes to short to hang around waiting for someone to knock on your door!

    I myself although am not quite ready to get out there yet have a few possibilities on the go for when Im ready.

    Just be honest with yourself about what you want and also whoever you plan to date. EnjoyX

  • Bud
    Lv 5
    2 decades ago

    Most councelors recommend 2 - 4 years.... and that's after the divorce. I know that sounds impossible but it does help in this way:

    First: It gives you a lot of time to heal from the

    the divorce.

    Second: It gives you time to find out who you are by

    yourself... not who you are with someone else.

    When you are fully comfortable with being alone

    then you will be better able to be with someone

    else. Trust me, this is true.

    Third: Hurt people hurt people. Getting into another

    relationship before you are healed is a recipe

    for a lot more pain.... something you can't

    afford.

    Good luck.

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  • 2 decades ago

    I would probably say a year, It depends on alot of things though. How long you were together, If you were really together for the end of it, that kind of stuff. If you were separated first, then I'd say sooner, but If it was a shock to everyone when you got divorced because you "seemed" to be fine, then I'd wait a while.

  • 2 decades ago

    By the time my divorce was final I was already dating. Did other people view that as being "appropriate?" Some didn't, but I don't care what others think. I was ready to move on with my life about 3 months after we separated, but you have to know the story behind the separation. Anyway, it does boil down to "depends." sorry.

  • 2 decades ago

    I'd felt like a single parent for so long I was ready to date before the divorce was final. And it really does depend on the person. lol You'll know when you are ready. Just don't introduce your kids to every gal you date.

  • 2 decades ago

    Dating you can do when you feel ready. But it is important to sort through the experience emotionally and mentally before committing to a new serious new relationship. The rule of thumb is three years between a divorce and a new marriage.

  • 2 decades ago

    Wow, you got lots of answers!

    I didn't wait. I jumped right in. I liked being married. I liked coming home to someone and really wasn't interested in the "singles" thing. I just didn't like being married to the guy I was married to.

    No regrets here. If you feel like dating, date! Looks like you have your hands full with the carrier and kids. Just make sure you are looking for someone that will be good to the kids. Make sure you are looking for the right reason. Make yourself happy and don;t forget that you are setting an example for your kids. They are learning how a household is supposed to work, so don't bring home a bunch of differnt girls. Wait until you have someone that you REALLY like, and not too soon (for them).

    Source(s): life
  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    I have been officially divorced for 7 months and 8 days. I have not yet started dating again. Honestly, the thought of dating scares the heck out of me!

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