Would you have done this or am I just awful?

Give the guy a break. His mom is dying, he's on anti-depressants and you're insisting he protects you and the kids right now?

In what way is he not doing that? Are you and your kids in any mortal danger? What's wrong with his family taking him away for 3 days?

Lady, a marriage is about mutual co-operation. You go around expecting him to be with you at all times. Get real. He's a mortal, he tires out especially when he's under stress. Stop complaining and fend for yourself. You're whining cos he's not home. Having a dying mom is reason enough not to be at home. Let up or don't be surprised if he disappears for good one of these days. He's not answering your calls cos he's tired of being hounded in times when his mom is dying for Christ sake.

I understand the situation is upsetting for you, but a lot of people go through periods of withdrawal when they're experiencing a death in the family. Your husband must've really cared for his parents, and that's why this entire situation is taking a toll on him. I'm more than sure that he isn't trying to make you mad on purpose - he probably doesn't even realize that it's painful for you to go through seeing him act the way he is acting. Maybe you should try calling him again and seeing whether you can work things out. You guys have two very lovely children to think about, and I think the reason why you made such a rash decision is because you were so upset about his actions. At least I hope that's why. :) Good luck with everything.

I am sure I have no clue how hard things are for him, & I am truly sorry he's going through this. Has he been seeing a counselor regularly? I see he is taking meds, but is he keeping his appoinments?

It's probably part of his depression to withdraw from you, but it could be so dangerous, especially if he's out at a bar drinking. Do these drugs hhave any side effects while under the influence? Maybe try to coax him out of drinking, and just going to therapy, your family is going through a TOUGH time, and alcoholism is never the answer, and his problems are not going to go away just by drinking.

Get as much support from both families, and get his friends involved too, but I hope that he can see that drinking is not going to solve anything for him.

People deal with death in different ways. I know from experience. He sleeps a lot because that is how the body deals with stress and depression. He did make sure to leave the child at a safe place. He needs to be with his family they are the ones he can relate to. Telling him he broke his promise to his mom who is dieing and then telling him he cant come home was not the best thing to do. You should try to be more sympathetic. He has already lost his father. Ask your self how you would want him to treat you when you lose your parents.

HE definitely does not need to be in a bar and he needs to go to work and have someone call him when she is dying so that he can leave come pick you and the kids up and go to his familys with all of you..... He should not be leaving you at this time at all... What happens if you go into labor and he is not there? You both may need marriage counseling as well... Another thing you and the kids should always come above his parents.... I am not saying not to love them but you are just as important because you are his wife and united to him in marriage til death do you part.....

I can see where you would be upset. But what in the WORLD does this have to do with protecting you? Protecting you from what? Being by your lonesome with the kids from a few days? Your jealously of his family? Your blindness to his obvious depression problems that are easier for you to blame on his family?

Sounds like you both need to have some serious counseling both alone and together.

It also sounds like "someone" needs to be mature, be direct and quit playing stupid high school games.

(By "someone" I mean you)

If you're asking strangers for marriage advice, maybe being apart is the better thing to do for both of you.

BTW...his family didn't kidnap him, you silly girl. I am sure no one held a gun to his head. Perhaps he just needed a 3 day break from someone who is so clingy that they freak out when he spends time apart from them! I am, surprised he came back the first time. Jeez.

Even though I am young, objectively I think you have taken the right actions, when you marry someone its an agreement that you will take car of each other, it seems to me he is failing to take care of you, despite someone's death. His responsibilities as a son are long gone since he got married. I am not saying you are cold in anyway, but there has to be some give and take, and right now you need the support. Try to get support from friends on your end. Give him some time to realize his actions, then when you get a chance express your side of things, most men are daft to woman's needs. Hope things get better

I think he is using his mom as an excuse to act irresponsible.If he is at a bar then he is abandoning his mother as her last minutes tick away and if he is not with her then he should be at work supporting the ones who will be here after she is gone.I would tell him if he is not with his mother then he has to go to work.If she dies then he will need those days off to grieve and bury his mother.I understand losing a mother is hard but she is still here and until you get the call that she may not make it through the night then life should go on as normal.You need to tell him he is being selfish and he is hurting his family financially and his mother would not condone his behavior.

People deal the the grief of losing a love one in many ways. Your husband actually chooses not to deal with it at all, until it is too late. Then the alcohol seems to become an issue as you have stated. On top of that, he is not respectful of his "PROMISE" to you and your children. I think that you should really re-evaluate the entire situation, and ask yourself if this is the type of life that you want for yourself and your children. He hasalready displayed this lifestyle to you, and is doing it again. Do you think you will "change him"? You won't! Your choice in a husband seems to have been a bad choice to me. I really think that you need to find a way to do something more possitve for yourself and your children, including the unborn child.

I think you did the right thing....

let him know that : A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.

Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.

If you know for sure that he was not with his mom and just using her as an excuse to get out of work, then you are in the right. If you think its deeper than that and he is truly freakin out abou his mom, (hence the reason for disappearing) then its harsh. But either way you look at it, he is wrong to leave you out of the loop of things not knowing what is going on. So, if it continues, give him an altimatum, enclude you and let you know what is happening and how he is feeling, or hit the road.