My boyfriend constantly tells me I'm not bisexual- is there such a thing as an 'ex-bisexual'?

I want to say this before I go any further with my comment:

"If I offend anyone it's not done on purpose, so I apologize now"

Now with that out of my system, I have to agree with your boyfriend in a way, not completely, What I mean is that there is no such thing as "Bi-sexual" It's either you are straight or gay, Now if you have any form of sexual contact with the same sex you are gay period...What you are doing is just having sex with everybody male & female, I personally do not approve of that type of life style but, I am not with out sin so I will not cast the first stone sort ta say, What I do think is that you need to quit leading your boyfriend on the way you are if you want to be with females do that, and if you want to be with males do that but, not both, it's like the young adults of today do not know how to restrain themselves, there is no self respect, it's free love, In the end it's free STD's Like I said I do not want to offend but, I think it's time that the young should hear the truth, and they also need to be told NO!!!! sometimes.

He needs to accept your orientation.

Some guys are nervous knowing that their girlfriend is bi. I had that myself. I asked him why he behaved so strange against one of my best friends who is bi as well and he answered: "Because bisexual people simply don't want to "decide" if they are lesbian or heterosexual"

It was very similar to the accusation of your boyfriend - for my ex, bisexuals are not ready to decide what they are.

Stupid, but it was his opinion. Maybe your boyfriend feels threatened by your statements and he *wants* you to be hetero. But if you aren't you should stay firm. Because he has to accept you like you accept him.

Maybe he is afraid that you could fall in love with a girl and leave him? And therefore he wants to believe that your experiences with girls are only "playing around" - because it is a threatening thought that he might not be able to give you what a woman can give you?

If this is the case, I would firmly tell him, that you *are* bi - but that you love *him* and that you don't want to be with any other partner - male or female.

It may take time, but - you are what you are and I feel that you won't be happy if you start lying and saying that you are not bi...

Good luck to you!!! I hope he will get reasonable and see that you love *him*, not any other person - and that this is the only thing that should count.

Addition:

@Lil'Angel68:

"What I mean is that there is no such thing as "Bi-sexual" It's either you are straight or gay,"

Wherefrom did you receive this "wisdom"?

And I think you are misleaded in one thing: Being *bisexual* doesn't mean that you want to have sexual contacts to men and women at the same time. All being bisexual means is that you are able to fall in love and have sexual relations with people of both genders.

It has nothing to do with not being ready to "decide what you want".

And I've got a new question for you: If you are still of the opinion that there are heterosexuals and there are gays and that it is *not* possible to be bisexual... *Why* do you think that it isn't possible? Because you can't imagine that it could be that someone first has a girlfriend, and later - *after* the other relationship was finished - has a boy friend?

Being bisexual doesn't mean you are bigamist! I think you do misunderstand being bisexual with being bigamistic. But that is *not* the same!!!

No offense, but you're the reason why people loathe bisexuals; you can't make up your mind. If you "love" your boyfriend, then cut that I-like-chicks-act out. Even if it isn't an act, as you claim, no one(especially your significant other)wants to hear how much you love women. How's that supposed to make him feel? It's like if he were to tell you, "Girl I only half love you." For real, that's the kind of message you're sending him; you'll love him for now, but the second a sexy-a** female comes sniffing your territory, then your love for him might change. Even if this isn't true, your incessant babbling about being bi is enough to make the average man just a tad insecure and doubtful. Think about it. What if the tables pulled a one-eighty on you, and your man told you he was bi, and guys were coming up to you asking if it were true? Wouldn't that be hurtful and, at the very least, annoying?

Aria

*The illnovelist*

I have wondered if I was bi in the past and I think you can choose to become straight if you really want to but only if you "chose" to become bi in the first place. Some people just are. I have found it's a sexual tendancy that can be played up or down in some people, if you don't want to be attracted to girls there is a good chance you will find youself noticing them less and less if you make the effort not to.

But the issue is your boyfriend is jealous and insecure. Tell him that if you were just straight the risk of you doing it with guys wouldn't be any less then it is now. Being bi dosent mean you are going to stray and that is all he should be worrying about. If he carries on telling you about yourself why don't you ask him to tell you your whole life story too?

Sounds like your bf is really hung up about this. The guy is completely insecure over your bisexuality and it's probably a matter of not understanding that a bisexual is capable of committing to a relationship just like anyone else. I have been with my husband for fourteen years, and we have a terrific marriage, which has included two female lovers in that time. We are just a couple right now, not a triple (my way of referring to 3 committed adults in one relationship), and have been so most of our marriage.

If he can't get past the fact that you are both bi and committed, maybe you should reconsider this relationship. I recommend counseling if you both want this to work.

Well if he loves you like hell like you love him then he is thinking marriage and if he is how do you think that bi thing is gonna work out. So when yall get married you say your bi and mess with other girls then he could say he love you and **** other girls too then yall would finally figure out that yall were cheating. Let him be mad if yall have no future together if yall do then Love is stronger than any other thing and if it ain't stronger then your passion for women than you don't love him. If you get a chance read Romans in the Bible. Good Luck!

hey i dont think theres a ex-bi thing ya eather bi les or just into males whatever im bi and im married and have kids and im still into the ladies i keep my lifes apart from each onther but im still bi plus if u been wit a women and u still want them id have to say u bi if not then ur just stright but hey dont listen to him u r your own person u do what u want and when and who lol **** just be real to urself so tell urself what u feel and go with it

he sounds really immature... if you were up- front about how you were from the beginning of the relationship, and hes acting like that that's plain" sorry "of him. you can not change who you are and how you, are for anyone... why would you want to? i wouldn't. if hes unhappy about this, then he needs to get a strait girlfriend. I'm bi and i have a man too, and he is way cool with me, and would never talk to me like that. he don't really love you if he cant accept you.... let him go ... there are plenty of men( and woman too! ) who will not judge you.

Quit arguing with him and running around telling people the truth. He can't handle the truth. Go out and get yourself a shirt and have it airsprayed "If you're not bi, you're missin half of it!" and only wear it when the two of you are out in public. Arguing about it is over rated, anyways.

And on the back, have it say "I love his feminine side as much as I love his masculin side." Arguing just leads to hurt feelings.

No, you can't stop being who you are merely because it's convienient for someone you care about. And what is his problem with it? I am guessing you haven't lied to him, or tried to hide who you are, and that being the case he knew what he was getting into. It seems very disrespectful of you for him to fail to accept who you are (on his part, just to be totally clear).

My wife told me before we were married that she was (and is) Bi, and it makes no difference to me- I love and respect her, and so I have no problem with that facet of who she is- and we've been happily married for 14 years. I definitely feel you need to get to the bottom of the issue with him, as his attitude towards this one facet of your personality could poison what otherwise might be a great relationship. I hope things work out for you, but remember "to thine own self be true".

lol- oddly enough my wife was answering this question at the very same instant- we are very like minded, she and I, even though only one of us is Bi.