Spidey newbie wants to know...?

That's a pretty tall order. Spider-Man has a long history. I suggest you start with Spider-Man: Chapter One which reinvents the modern Spider-Man origin. If you can, get a hold of the first Secret Wars trade which marks the first appearance of the Venom costume. Look into Venom and Carnage saga trades as well. The Return of the Green Goblin (not sure if the trade is titled that but I'm sure they must have made one), which was lead in by the Clone saga. Identity Crisis was one of my favorites. Finally, The Other is a recent storyline that you should definitely check out. One final suggestion is getting a hold of any retelling of the Death of Gwen Stacy. That was a major event in Spider-Man's life. That's all I got.

Check out wikipedia.org, but I would for sure start waaaay back at the beginning. Get Marvel Masterworks Spider-Man Vol. 1. TPB with Amazing Fantasy #15 on the cover. The originals should give you a really good grasp of what he's all about.

if u want to learn about spider-man go to the Marval comics web site and and type in spiderman

buy the "essential spiderman" series..you can find them at half.com, ebay or amazon.com..of course start with volume 1 and then if you still like it go from there..it costs around 8 bucks or so..